


The Anatomy of Hope

by fandommatchmaker19



Series: The Anatomy of Haylijah [2]
Category: The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Drama, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:49:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 50,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandommatchmaker19/pseuds/fandommatchmaker19
Summary: Sequel to The Anatomy of Love (TAOL). If you haven't read that, shameless self-promo, please do!1 year after the events of TAOL, Hayley Marshall, abandoned by the love of her life, is raising her and Elijah's five-month-old baby boy, Lucas, along with her daughter Hope and Nadia, Elijah and Katherine's daughter, whom she adopted. But, an accident brings Elijah back and Hayley's world is turned upside down.Will Hayley forgive Elijah? Will Elijah open up about what drove him to abandon the woman he loved and mother of his children? Will they find their way back to each other?Hayley only has one question: Is there hope for them?
Relationships: Davina Claire/Kol Mikaelson, Hayley Marshall/Elijah Mikaelson, Keelin Malraux/Freya Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson/Camille O'Connell, Marcel Gerard/Rebekah Mikaelson
Series: The Anatomy of Haylijah [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096925
Comments: 43
Kudos: 27





	1. There'll Be Happiness After You

On Christmas morning, Hayley was awoken by a crying baby and the sound of a door slamming. With a groan, she rolled over and glanced at the bedside digital clock to find it was 6:45am and sighed. She was unlikely to get anymore sleep, so she stood up, almost tripping on something, letting out a hiss of pain before making her way to her son’s crib. As she leaned over the crib, Luke’s pouting face broke into a smile and Hayley’s earlier annoyance disappeared.

“Hi,” she said softly, reaching to tickle his tummy softly which resulted in Luke letting out a small giggle. “Hi,” she repeated, grinning. “Hello, Lucas,” she said softly and the baby sighed. “Yup. Lucas. That’s you, buddy.” The five-month-old giggled again, and she couldn’t help but smile fondly as she tickled his belly. “Did you have a good sleep? Huh?” she wondered. [He’d had a hard time falling asleep the evening before and been cranky and generally fussy throughout the night until his second feed around 2am, but had apparently fallen asleep after that, which Hayley was grateful for]. Lucas let out a soft gurgle, and Hayley laughed. “You did,” she cooed, “and mommy loves you for it. Yeah, I do. Do you know what day it is today? Hmm? It’s Christmas,” she said, beaming at him. Lucas just babbled softly. “Yup. Christmas. The most magical time of the year. Santa came with presents,” she said as she continued to play with his tummy. “We’ll see what you got soon. And, we’re gonna have Auntie Cami and Uncle Klaus over for dinner tonight. What do you think? Does that sound good?” Luke giggled. “I’ll bet it does,” she hummed. “So, what shall we do?” she wondered. “I think mommy’s gonna go to the bathroom first, then we’ll see what you and I can do,” she said. She handed Luke one of his toys, then dashed to the ensuite bathroom to the relieve herself, brush her teeth, wash her face and apply a bit of cream. When she returned, Luke was wailing and squirming in his crib, and Hayley rushed over to him.

“Shh,” she muttered softly as she reached for her baby, “shh, little buddy. Mommy’s here, I’m here, shh,” she cooed as she picked him up, resting his head on her chest which only resulted in Luke reaching for her breasts. She kissed his head and whispered, “shh,” as she moved from the crib back to the bed. “Oh, you’re hungry, aren’t you, buddy?” she whispered softly as she rubbed his back. Luke just whimpered as she sat down on the bed, settling against the headboard before grabbing the pregnancy/nursing pillow and settling it around her waist. She switched Luke so he was resting on his side in the crook of her arm, his body supported by the pillow, and he reached for her breasts again, fisting the material of her night shirt, and she chuckled softly. “No, that won’t help, Luke,” she muttered, smiling fondly at the five-month-old, and he let out another cry. “I know, I know,” she said softly. “You’re hungry, mommy knows, trust me. Shh, here let me,” she whispered softly and unbuttoned the first few buttons of her night shirt, revealing the wrap-style nursing bra she’d worn overnight. She freed her breast, and gently guided Luke closer, but it didn’t take much for him to latch and start to suck rather greedily.

Morning feeds were usually her least favorites because mornings were crazy enough as they were and Hayley was usually running through her daily checklist while her son ate. But, this morning – Christmas morning – he’d woken up earlier, and she didn’t have to be at work until 9am, so she was getting a few uninterrupted minutes just with him. Which, considering she was currently raising three kids, having adopted Nadia, was a rarity even if Lucas was a baby.

Case in point, there was a knock on her door.

“Come in,” she called out, and the door opened to reveal Hope, wearing her Christmas-themed pajamas, her red hair spilling down her shoulders. Hayley smiled fondly at her daughter who stepped in. “G’morning, baby girl,” she said softly. “Did you sleep well?” she asked as she shifted slightly, readjusting Luke’s position.

“Morning, mom,” Hope said, “Merry Christmas.”

Hayley beamed, “Merry Christmas, honey,” she said as Hope stepped further into the room, though she lingered by the door. “C’mere,” she added, motioning for Hope, which was the only thing Hope needed to hear in order to come bounding over to her. “Be careful,” Hayley warned, holding Luke protectively, and Hope stopped just next to the bed before plopping down next to Hayley and leaned over to kiss Hayley’s cheek. Then, she leaned towards her brother and pressed a kiss to the back of his head, and Luke fussed slightly but did not stop suckling on Hayley’s breast. “So,” Hayley said softly as Hope curled around her other side, opposite Luke, “did you sleep well?”

“Yup,” Hope nodded. “I just wanted to see when we can open presents,” she explained.

“Is Nadia awake?” Hayley asked as she played with Hope’s hair while supporting Luke with her other arm.

“I think so,” Hope said. “I didn’t see her when I went to the bathroom this morning,” she explained.

“So, that’s what the door slamming was,” Hayley commented, and Hope averted her gaze sheepishly.

“I’m sorry,” she sighed.

“You’re lucky your brother wasn’t too cranky upon being woken up,” she told Hope. They remained like that for a while, Hayley holding one baby in her arm, her daughter curled next to her, and she had to admit that made for a pretty great Christmas morning. “Hey, Hope,” she said after a while, remembering that not everyone was having a good day.

“Yeah?”

“I know you’re excited about Christmas, and that’s great, but just remember that Nadia might not be in a very festive mood,” she told her.

“Oh. Because her mom got into the accident last Christmas and died?” Hope asked, looking at her with wide, blue eyes. [They’d discussed this at length a few days ago because Hayley had wanted Hope to be prepared].

“Mhm,” she nodded. “So, she might be quite sad today,” she said and Hope nodded in understanding.

“Are you sad, mommy?” Hope asked after a while and Hayley’s eyes widened as she stared at her.

“Why would I be sad?”

Hope didn’t answer straightaway and seemed to consider what she was going to say for a few seconds before she finally spoke, “because you and Uncle Elijah were fighting after last Christmas and then he left after New Year’s.”

Hayley flinched at the mention of _his_ name, and her breath hitched in her throat as her mind immediately flashed back to the events of last Christmas. Her smile disappeared and she frowned as she remembered how everything had fallen apart after they got called to the hospital during Christmas dinner. Katherine dying on her table. Elijah’s coldness and emotional detachment. His breakdown after the funeral. And, finally, the evening after New Year’s when she’d told him she was pregnant. At the time she had been happy. Naively thinking that a baby would be enough to bring Elijah back to himself. Instead, it was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. And she loved her son, wouldn't trade him for anything, but she was never going to forgive Elijah for abandoning them.

After a few more tense seconds, she shook her head, “no, I’m not sad, sweetie. I’m happy. I have three perfect kids and a great family, and I’m safe and healthy. I’m happy. Of course, I’m happy,” she said, forcing a smile, though it was a little tense. She bent down to kiss the top of Hope’s head. “You three make me really happy. Besides, last Christmas was when I first found out I was pregnant with your brother, so that makes me happy,” she added, stroking Luke’s head absently.

“Do you miss him though?” Hope asked after a while, glancing over at her.

Hayley sighed and shut her eyes briefly, “hmm,” she sighed. “I guess. I mean, I always will miss him on some level, but he left, Hope,” she finally said, looking down only to find Luke blinking up at her with his dark brown eyes so much like his father’s. “And, I have to go on,” she said with a heavy sigh. “Now, what’s with all these questions?” she wondered.

Hope shrugged, “dunno,” she muttered. “I guess… _I_ miss him, mom,” she finally said and Hayley’s eyes widened in surprise. “I miss his pancakes, and his hugs, and his pasta. I miss him taking me out for ice-cream,” she added sadly.

“Hey, now,” Hayley said softly, reaching to rub Hope in a comforting manner as much as she could while still holding Luke in her arms, “don’t you be sad. I know you miss him, I’m sure the whole family does. But, don’t be sad, okay?”

“Yeah,” Hope nodded with a sigh.

Hayley wondered if she should say anything more, but was prevented from doing so by the door opening to reveal Nadia, clad in her own pajamas (hers Harry Potter themed), her wavy brown hair piled on top of her head in a bun.

“Morning,” she said, rubbing her eyes slightly. “Merry Christmas,” she added, forcing a smile.

“Merry Christmas, Nadia,” Hayley said with a smile as Nadia walked over to the bed and plopped down on it.

“Merry Christmas, Nadia,” Hope said, sitting up only to move next to her adoptive sister.

Luke squirmed and moved his head, letting go of Hayley’s breast, a clear indication he was done. “You done, buddy?” she asked softly and he gurgled. She offered her other breast, but he turned his head away. “So, you are done,” she murmured as she pushed the special pillow and stood up slowly, still cradling Luke in her arms. The girls were on her bed, playfully shoving each other, bickering quietly. Hayley switched Luke’s position so his head was resting against her shoulder and burped him before carrying him to the dressing table. “Time for a diaper change, I’m sure,” she said softly. “Yeah?” Luke made a gurgling sound and Hayley chuckled as she settled him on the changing table. Luke squirmed, not at all impressed by the process as Hayley unbuttoned his onesie. “Girls!” she called, and both Nadia and Hope stopped, and turned to her. “Come here and distract your brother, please,” she requested. Neither complained, and soon they were standing on either of Luke’s sides – Hope on her tiptoes – playing peek-a-boo and blowing raspberries, providing enough of a distraction for Hayley to change his diaper quickly. With the diaper changed, and Nadia keeping him in place, Hayley went to grab a fresh onesie, keeping with the Christmas theme, and returned to change Luke who continued to squirm as hard as his sisters tried to entertain him. With Luke now changed, she picked him up and turned to the girls. “You two showered and ready to go open presents and have breakfast?” she asked. Nadia nodded while Hope bit her lip.

“Does it count if I brushed my teeth and washed my hair last night?”

Hayley chuckled, “yes, it does,” she said. “But, only because it’s Christmas,” she quipped with a smirk. “Alright, let’s go downstairs and open presents and make breakfast. Then, we all need to get ready and I need to get you two to school and me to work,” she informed them as they all walked out of the room and downstairs, Hayley humming softly to the baby as she descended the stairs to keep him from squirming. As soon as they reached the living room and kitchen area, Hope let out a squeal of delight, and even Nadia smiled and followed Hope to the Christmas tree. Luke giggled and squirmed happily probably from his older sisters’ excitement. “Yeah, buddy,” she cooed, “presents. Santa brought presents. Should we go see if there are any for you, hmm?” she asked as she kissed the side of his head. Luke just cooed as she kissed his head again. “Yeah? Let’s go see what presents Santa brought for Luke,” she said as she carried him to the tree, Luke giggling in her arms as Hope let out a squeal at the present she’d just unwrapped. Beside her, Nadia smiled with delight as she tore the wrapping and revealed a new set of book Hayley had gifted her.

* * *

Since it was Christmas and neither of the girls were in school, Hayley got to leave the house at 8:30 just as Luke was getting cranky and clearly in need of a nap. Thankfully, he fell asleep on the way to the hospital and with the girls in the back, Nadia was able to lull him back to sleep when he woke up on the way. Once at the hospital, Hayley fixed his car seat on top of the stroller, and along with the girls made her way into St. John’s Memorial hospital and found Klaus, Cami and Freya in the lobby.

As soon as Hope spotted her father, she bounded over to him, squealing, “Merry Christmas,” and throwing her arms around him. Klaus picked her up easily, returning the hug before positioning her properly in his arms.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he said by way of greeting. “Did you have a good Christmas morning? Did you like the presents Santa brought for you?” he asked her and Hope launched into an excited account of all her presents, gesturing wildly with her arms.

“Hope Andrea Mikaelson,” Hayley said in a warning tone as she pushed the stroller towards her daughter, “dial down your voice,” she scolded. “If you wake up your brother, you’ll be the one to put him back to sleep,” she added.

Hope stopped talking and pouted, “but mom,” she whined, though she did lower her voice, “I was just telling dad about the presents.”

“I know, and that’s great,” Hayley said, rolling her eyes. “But, Luke only fell asleep in the car, so please don’t wake him,” she sighed just as Luke fussed a little and she pushed the stroller a little. With a theatric sigh, Hope nodded and whispered something to her father.

“Well, hello, love,” Klaus said by way of greeting. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Hayley said as the two of them exchanged a quick side hug while Nadia greeted her aunts. Hayley then went to greet Cami and Freya, exchanging hugs and cheek kisses with both of them, accompanied by “Merry Christmas.”

“Off to daycare for the little tyke?” Klaus asked once all greetings had been exchanged. “And, where are two misses going?”

Hayley shrugged as she glanced over at her sleeping son in his stroller, “hmm, I don’t know. I have to be in the E.R. at 9am, which is-” she glanced at her watch, “shit I’m five minutes late,” she cursed.

“Mom! You said a bad word!” Hope exclaimed indignantly. Klaus and Cami both chuckled in amusement while Freya just shook her head.

“Sorry, sweetie,” she muttered apologetically. “Like I was saying, I need to get to the E.R. soon and I was gonna drop off Luke at daycare, but he’s sleeping pretty soundly now and he didn’t have the best night,” she bit her lip as she tried to think of what to do. “And, Hope is going over to Lizzie and Josie’s, Ric will pick her up soon. Nadia…” she trailed off and paused, trying to rack her brain for what exactly her adoptive daughter was meant to be doing today.

“I’m going over to Aunt Bekah’s,” the teenager supplied. “I texted her I’m going with you to the hospital, and she’ll come pick me up,” she informed her. “We’re watching Christmas movies and baking Christmas cookies,” she added.

“Oh. Right. Well, that’s great. Do you need anything?” Hayley felt slightly guilty that she hadn’t managed to have Christmas off in order to spend it with the kids, but was grateful Rebekah was taking Nadia for the day.

Nadia shook her head, “nope. Just- when do you want me home?” she asked as she played with the strap of her bag. “And, is Aunt Bekah coming to dinner?”

“Hmm,” Hayley bit her lip and shrugged, “I’m not sure. We’re having our full Mikaelson Christmas dinner later this week. Tonight only Klaus and Cami are coming over, but Aunt Bekah can come if she’s free. I’ll call her,” she told her adoptive daughter.

“Okay, cool,” she nodded.

“When is Bekah coming?” Hayley wondered.

“Dunno,” Nadia shrugged. “She said she’ll text me. I doubt she’ll come in to get me in case she runs into Marcel,” she said and Hayley and Cami rolled their eyes. Freya just pursed her lips. [After two more miscarriages and countless arguments over having kids, Rebekah and Marcel called it quits a month ago after Thanksgiving. They were headed that way already, but everything had blown up spectacularly during Thanksgiving dinner, and they officially broke up right after. According to Rebekah, that had been the longest time her and Marcel had been together, ever. And, unsurprisingly, they were both taking it hard].

“Daddy?” Hope, who’d been quiet the entire time, chose this moment to participate in conversation.

“Yes, princess?”

“Why is Auntie Bex avoiding Marcel?” she asked innocently. Cami and Freya both covered their mouths, stifling a laugh and Hayley cackled. Nadia sniggered beside her.

“Um…” Klaus trailed off, and turned helplessly at his fiancée, who just shook her head, grinning in amusement before turning to Hayley.

After a few minutes, Hayley took pity on him, “well, Auntie Bekah and Marcel had a pretty nasty fight and now they’re not together anymore. They broke up,” she explained.

“They’re not together anymore?” Hope asked, her blue eyes wide with curiosity. “So, Marcel left her? Like Uncle Elijah left you?” Hayley flinched while everyone else averted their gaze. This was the second time in one day that Hope had brought up her uncle and his absence, and Hayley felt thrown off.

Cami and Freya awkward looks and Klaus cleared his throat while Hayley bit her lip, “well, not exactly, sweetie,” she said. “Aunt Bekah told him to go.”

“She kicked him out, really,” Klaus added, and Hayley shot him a glare.

 _Not helping_ , she mouthed. Klaus just smirked while Nadia sniggered.

“Oh,” Hope sighed, nodding. “That sucks. I thought they were going to get married. Like daddy and Cami and Uncle Kol and Davina,” she added with a sigh. [Klaus and Cami weren’t married, yet, they were still planning, while Kol and Davina had simply eloped. Half-eloped, because they’d invited some guests].

But, before anyone could say anything, Nadia cut in, “well, that’s Bekah. She’s here. I’ll just go,” she said, then paused. “Uh, thanks again for the presents this morning,” she said, giving Hayley a hug, then Klaus and Cami, too, then Freya. “Merry Christmas, again. Guess I’ll see you all later,” she added, waving before taking off outside.

“Merry Christmas, Nadia!” Hayley called out. “See you later, call if you need anything!”

“Will do!” the teenager yelled, half turning.

Once Nadia left, Hayley glanced over at her watch. “Well, I should really get going. Hope, let me just check my phone for when Ric’s coming to pick you up,” she said and pulled out her phone only to find she had a few texts from him and a missed call. She was about to call him back when two squeals alerted them to the arrival of Alaric Saltzman and his twin girls, Josie and Lizzie, both two years younger than Hope, as Klaus set Hope down.

“Shh!” Alaric called out after his daughters just as Luke started to fuss a little. “I told you girls to be quiet, there’s a baby sleeping,” he said in a stern tone.

“No worries, Ric,” Hayley said with a pleasant smile. “Merry Christmas. How are you?”

“Hey, everyone,” he said, huffing slightly. He exchanged greetings with Cami, Klaus and Freya. “Oh, you know, trying to keep up with these two,” he said, gesturing to his two daughters. “How are you?”

“We’re good, unfortunately having to work on Christmas, but what can you do?” she shrugged as the other three adults gave sounds of agreement.

“I can imagine. I’m off the clock today which is why I’ve got the girls. Jo wasn’t so lucky, unfortunately,” he said with a sigh.

“Oh, right, sorry about that. I’m still off shift in the evenings because of Luke until January. After that, I’ll probably leave him with one of the others or find a nanny so I can take graveyard shifts. And, unfortunately, Jo is the only other trauma surgeon since Keelin’s in Afghanistan with Doctors Without Borders,” she said with a sigh.

“Right, yeah, I know. It’s fine, honestly, don’t worry about it. And, I know last year was an emergency. It’s not so bad, the girls and I will have a good time,” he said, but Hayley could see that he probably wanted Jo there for Christmas, too. She could hardly blame him, but at least his partner was here, in this city, not God knows where running from everything. Hayley pushed thoughts of Elijah away. “Alright, well, let’s get going, girls,” he said clearing his throat. “Hope, you got everything?”

“Yup!” Hope beamed.

“Wait! Daddy,” the blonde one, Lizzie, exclaimed, tugging on her dad’s hand. “Can we see the baby? We wanna see the baby?”

“You wanna see the baby? Well, you gotta ask Miss Hayley over there, and ask her nicely like we talked about,” he said gently. Both girls turned to Hayley.

“Miss Hayley?”

“Yes?”

“Can we see the baby please?” they asked in unison, both of them pouting. Hayley chuckled in amusement.

“Of course you can, come here,” she said, and pulled Luke’s stroller closer. The Saltzman twins stepped closer and stood on their tiptoes, looking down in wonder at a sleeping Luke.

“He’s so cute,” Josie, the brunette one whispered.

“He is!” Lizze agreed, grinning. The girls stared at the sleeping baby for a few more seconds while Hope bid Klaus, Cami and Freya goodbye before Ric nudged them to go. Hope turned to her.

“Bye, mom,” she said, flinging her arms around her as Hayley bent down to her level. 

“Bye, sweetie. Merry Christmas again. Have a good day, be good to Ric,” she said, then kissed her index and middle finger while Hope did the same before they rested their fingers against each other, doing their ritual. Then, Ric was pulling all three girls with him, and Hope turned briefly to wave at her and Klaus before running off after Lizzie and Josie.

Hayley let out a relieved sigh, “okay, that’s done,” she said. “Now, I seriously need to get down to the E.R.”

It was Cami who came to her rescue. “Oh, you know what? Why don’t I take Luke? My next patient isn’t until 11:00,” she said, and Hayley breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, Cami, thank you. I’d kiss you right now,” she said, which garnered an amused chuckle from Klaus.

“Sorry, love, but she is very much taken,” Klaus quipped, putting his arm around his fiancée. Hayley chuckled.

“So, what do I need to do with Luke?” Cami asked.

“I nursed him around 7:00am, so the next time he’ll want to eat is probably at 11:00 after he wakes up. He should wake up around 10:45, though could be earlier. He’ll want to eat, though, and he’ll wake up for that. I expressed a bottle for him, so you can just give him that when he wakes up. Don’t forget to burp him afterwards. Obviously, you can call me, but he should be fine,” she said with a shrug. She handed Cami the diaper bag, “everything is in here. Milk, diapers, clean onesies, booties and another set of clothes, rattles and two toys. Plus a jar of apple purée and some cereal,” she informed her. “If you just take him to daycare after feeding and changing him, that would be great,” she added.

“Okay,” Cami nodded. “No problem, I think I can handle that,” she said with a smile. And, just then, Hayley’s phone pinged. [It was a page actually, but the hospital had replaced pagers with smartphones and were using a special app for in-hospital communication that was connected to the hospital computer system].

“Yeah, I have to go. Just- call me if you need anything,” she said. She patted Luke’s head lightly, “bye, baby,” she said softly. Her phone pinged with the paging sound again and Luke whimpered, resulting in Cami to rock the stroller slightly, cooing. “Alright, I gotta go,” she said as her phone beeped for a third time. “Thanks, Cami. Bye!” she yelled as she took off at a run, her own duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

* * *

Once she got to the E.R., she dumped her duffel bag behind the nurses’ desk, ignoring Nurse Agnes’ annoyed look and went to wash her hands and sanitize them before throwing her hair into a messy bun and grabbing a yellow trauma gown, tying it whilst slinging her stethoscope around her neck. She exited into the ambulance bay to find Josh, Tyler Lockwood, Katie Vanchure and Joe Dalton all waiting and bickering.

“Good morning!” she yelled by way of greeting, but the bickering didn’t stop. Josh flashed her a pleading look. “Good morning!” she yelled again, but was ignored. She cleared her throat and nothing. “Okay, could you please be quiet?” she requested, but was again ignored. “Will you all _shut up_?!” she snapped, having had enough. Finally, they all went quiet and turned to her, eyes wide. “Thank you,” she sighed. “Good morning. Excuse me for being late, I needed to figure out what to do with Luke,” she explained.

“Should just stay home and raise your kid,” Tyler Lockwood mumbled to Dalton, who snickered. “Don’t get why chicks pick careers like these and then complain that they can’t do it all,” he added.

“Lockwood, you are on SCUT!!!” she all but screamed. “I’d like to see you try to be a single parent and a surgeon,” she added. The resident in question, who had barely scraped by his repeat intern year, opened his mouth to say something, but Hayley didn’t let him. “Get out of my sight, you misogynistic asshole! I may not have been able to deal with you last year when I was a resident, but right now I’m an attending, so I outrank you. And, I’ve had enough of you and your mouth that doesn’t seem to know when to shut up. So, SCUT! Go, now!” she screamed. Lockwood had the sense not to say anything else and walked back inisde. Hayley turned to the rest of them. “Now, if anyone has any issues with me being a single mom and a doctor, you can take it up with the Chief. If not, let’s get started,” she said just as the ambulance screeched to a stop and the doors opened, paramedics jumping out and pulling out the gurney. “Oh, and Merry Christmas, everyone,” she added with a huff as she stalked in the direction of the ambulance. “What do we have?” demanded.

“Well, hello to you too, Dr. Marshall,” Davina quipped as she and Oliver, the other paramedic rolled the gurney towards them.

“Hugo Rey, thirty-five. Convenience store robbery turned shooting. GCS of 14. GSW to the chest, abdomen and upper left thigh. He’s lost about 30% blood volume – had to wait for police to secure the area to get to him,” she rolled her eyes. “hypotensive, systolic – 80, diastolic – 60; airway and breathing intact, but increasing at 40rpm. Heartrate’s 150,” she reported.

Hayley nodded, “okay, thanks Davina. Let’s take him inside. Dalton, take over bagging,” she added. “Okay, Mr. Rey,” she said addressing the patient, “I need you to stay calm. I know you’re scared, but you’re at the hospital now and we’re going to help you,” she said calmly as they rushed through the E.R. door. “Gia!” she yelled, “with me!” Gia, one of her favorite nurses, followed after them. “And, page cardio and neuro! Trauma 2!” Hayley grabbed the chart as they entered the trauma room. “One, two, three!” she counted as the paramedics and interns transferred the patient. “Hook him up to monitors, get me 10 of morphine,” she ordered. “And, cross-match six units.”

Davina waved as she and Oliver walked out, “see you, Hales!” she called out.

“Okay, keep pressure on that thigh,” she directed. “Roll him.”

“I see an exit wound,” Katie said.

“Good,” she said as she grabbed her penlight and leaned over the patient, shining the light into his eyes. “Pupils equal and reactive,” she muttered typing it into the tablet. “Vanchure, check for reflexes,” she said. “Josh, is there an abdominal exit wound?”

“Nope,” he said.

“Dr. Marshall, reflexes are present, though I’m worried about nerve damage,” Katie said and Hayley nodded.

Hayley went through her mental checklist, “okay, get a FAST STAT,” she said to Josh. [As an attending, she discovered that she wasn’t always so hands on as she now had to teach residents how to do things, and she had to admit she missed the action. Besides, some of the residents were utterly useless].

“I need two large-bore IVs STAT!” she yelled. “We need to get fluids in him and get his BP up.”

“FAST is positive,” Josh said after a few minutes. “Bleeding in the left upper quadrant,” he added. Gia handed him the IVs and he got them in quickly.

The monitors started beeping, signaling a rapid heart rate, “he’s tachycardic, Dr. Marshall,” Katie said.

Hayley huffed, “where the hell is cardio?” she demanded just as the doors slid open.

“Good morning, Dr. Marshall,” an Irish-accented voice said in greeting. [It was Declan O’Connell, Cami’s Irish cousin and the new neuro attending at St. John’s with whom Hayley had a sort of friends with benefits thing, but it wasn’t a big deal]. “Rosza, Vanchure, Dalton,” he added, nodding to the residents. “So, what’s happening?” he asked, his hand intentionally brushing against Hayley’s elbow. Hayley gave a quick report of the patient and what they’d done, and Declan nodded. “Okay, well, let’s have a look at that leg,” he said and went to deal with the thigh. With Declan there, Katie switched to the chest since she was a third year.

“Dr. Marshall,” she yelled, “I think he’s got hemopneumothorax,” she said.

“You think?”

“Um, well, I can’t be sure, but chest pains, dyspnea and tachycardia point to that,” she informed her and Hayley nodded. Hayley had the urge to jump in and deal with it, but reminded herself that she had been a resident once, too.

“And, how can you be sure?”

Katie glanced nervously at Josh, then the other resident, then at Declan.

“Well?” Hayley prompted.

“Uh, chest X-ray?”

“Are you sure? You have to be sure, Vanchure. And, quick on your feet, this is an emergency,” she said pointedly.

“Yeah, yes. I’m sure. He needs an X-ray,” she said, more conviction in her voice.

“I’m going to need the X-ray machine, too,” Declan added. “I need a clearer picture of this leg,” he explained.

Once the X-rays were done and the hemopneumothorax was confirmed, Hayley called Katie over again.

“Okay, Vanchure, you were right. It’s a hemopneumothorax. What do you do?”

“Um,” she paused nervously.

“Vanchure,” Hayley said more gently, “don’t be so nervous. You know what to do, just concentrate and go with your gut,” she advised.

Hayley had to admit there was a certain satisfaction when a resident _got it_ and she smirked as she saw the look on Katie’s face.

“Thoracostomy,” she said, finally sounding certain. “We need a 32-gauge needle and chest tube,” she said. Hayley nodded, and Gia handed the resident the needle. “Wait. You want me to do it?”

“I think you’ve earned it,” Hayley smirked. Another nurse gloved the resident.

“Lidocaine,” Katie muttered and Gia handed her the lido.

“Okay, find the fourth intercostal space,” Hayley coached gently. “Inject lido,” she added.

“Lido’s in,” Katie muttered. “15-blade,” she requested, and Gia handed her the scalpel. The monitors continued beeping, and Declan flashed her a look, but Hayley shook her head. “Making incision,” she muttered as she did just that. “Kelly clamp.” Hayley watched with a proud smirk as Katie continued the procedure. “Tube,” she requested, and inserted it, resulting in a popping sound, moving her fingers to widen the tract.

Once the tube was in position, she clamped it, then sutured it in. When she was done, Hayley clapped, resulting in everyone else to follow suit. “Good job, Dr. Vanchure, that was a successful thoracostomy,” she said, smiling.

“Alright,” Declan sighed, “we need to get this guy into surgery.

But, before they could do that, the monitors started beeping again.

“Damn it,” Hayley cursed under her breath. “Where the hell is cardio? Have you paged them?” she demanded. The nurse nodded. “Page them 9-1-1!” she shouted.

“He’s hypotensive, systolic dropped to ,” Katie reported, glancing over at the monitors. “Cardiac tamponade?”

“Probably,” she muttered. Hayley grabbed her stethoscope and rushed over to the patient to have a listen. “Be quiet, I’m trying to listen,” she hissed. “I’m hearing muffled heart sounds,” she muttered. “Let me have a look at the ECG,” she barked. Oh, she was going to _kill_ Kol Mikaelson when she saw him. “Sinus tach,” she huffed. “He needs a pericardiocentesis,” she muttered. “Gia, give me an 18-gauge needle,” she ordered. “And, six and a half gloves!” she yelled and the nurse gloved her.

“Hales, are you sure?” Declan asked. “Shouldn’t we wait for cardio for this?” he wondered.

Josh snorted, “dude, you really don’t want to tell her not to do something,” he muttered. When Declan raised an eyebrow at him, he added, “respectfully, Dr. O’Connell.”

Hayley ignored them, “betadine,” she muttered and Gia applied betadine. Hayley prepared herself, angling the needle at 45° before inserting it to the left of the xiphoid and pulling slowly on the syringe, which was how Kol Mikaelson found her when the doors finally slid open and he entered.

“Bloody hell, Marshall!” he yelled as he took in the scene. “You’ve gone rogue,” he added. Hayley glanced over at him and glared, unimpressed.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to if _someone_ from cardio answered their damn pages the first time around!” she snapped as she finished draining the fluid.

“Sorry, love,” Kol shrugged. “Celeste’s got surgery and I was running codes,” he added as an explanation. “Well, I’m here now, aren’t I? What’s up?”

Hayley just shook her head and reported the case to him before telling him to look at the X-rays.

“Oh, yeah, this guy needs to go to an O.R. STAT,” he muttered.

“Let’s move,” Hayley said as she tore off her yellow trauma gown, and the residents followed suit, but no sooner did they do that and the monitors started going off. “Crap,” she muttered.

It was Kol who jumped in, “we need to intubate. Get me a scope and size 6 ET tube!” he ordered as the monitors continued to beep. “Damn it,” he muttered. “Okay, I’m in. Tube!” Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief once the tube was in. “Bag him,” Kol told Josh. “Let’s move!”

* * *

After a hectic Christmas shift during which Hayley only managed a short break in the attendings’ lounge to express milk for Luke, but otherwise spent the whole time in surgery, she picked up Luke from daycare and went home. Klaus and Cami were coming for dinner, and picking both Hope and Nadia up on the way. Hayley put Luke to bed not long after they got there and Christmas dinner was a casual affair. Klaus and Cami both brought up a few more presents for the kids, to which Hayley complained that they (Klaus) were spoiling the kids too much. They talked about Klaus and Cami’s upcoming wedding, which was going to be in March, Hope’s school, Nadia, Henrik, the other Mikaelsons along with plans for a bigger Mikaelson get-together before New Year’s and what they were going to do for New Year’s. And, of course, they awkwardly avoided talking about Elijah, whom no one had heard from in a year.

Rebekah hosted a toned-down Christmas dinner on the 28th of December at her place, and after nearly wrestling all three of the kids, Hayley managed to get them all there. Thankfully, they weren’t on shift, so the dinner started around 5:00 which meant that Luke was awake in the beginning. Hayley had fed him before his nap, so he wasn’t due to eat until 7:00pm before bedtime, and she could enjoy at least two hours with the family. They’d exchanged presents before settling into pleasant conversation. With Luke being passed around between Rebekah and Freya, his aunts cooing over him, Hayley joined them along with Cami and Davina to chat and have a glass of wine. [She’d feed him by bottle. Maybe she could even try to get someone else to do the feeding].

“So, Cami,” Rebekah asked as she bounced Luke in her arms. “What’s the status of your upcoming nuptials to my dastardly brother?”

Hayley snorted while Davina and Freya both chuckled.

“Well, considering it’s happening in almost two months, things are good. Venue is sorted and the ceremony will be at my Uncle Kieran’s church, I’m going for another dress fitting next week whenever this one,” she gestured to her, “is free to come,” she said and Hayley smiled.

“Don’t worry, Cami, I’m not about to let go of my maid of honor duties,” she said with a grin.

“I know,” Cami said with a smile. “We’re still working a bit on the menu, but hopefully that will be done after New Year’s. We do need to decide on cake flavor, so we’re going to taste test a few next week,” she said.

“Oh, I do love a good wedding,” Rebekah commented as she took a sip of her wine.

“So, you will be coming,” Cami quipped. “Or, are you still avoiding the best man?”

“I’m not avoiding him, per se. I’m just…” she paused and sighed heavily, “not ready to see him. But, don’t worry, love, I’ll be there. I’m not going to miss Nik’s wedding just because Marcel and I broke up. Especially, since I almost didn’t get invited to Kol’s and didn’t get invited to Finn’s,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, to be fair, Finn didn’t invite everyone,” Freya said, clearing her throat.

“Except you,” Rebekah remarked drily, flashing her older sister a mock-glare. “I should thank Davina, I suppose, for inviting us lot to her and Kol’s wedding,” she added, causing everyone to laugh. [Kol and Davina almost fully eloping still caused the Mikaelsons to comment on it].

Davina just grinned.

“And, Elijah, well…” Rebekah trailed off uncomfortably. “I suppose I did attend one of his weddings, to Katherine, but I would have liked-” she cut herself off and shook her head, “nevermind. So, Hayley, are you bringing Cami’s cousin as your date to Cami and Nik’s wedding?” she asked, switching the subject from a painful one to a painfully awkward one.

“Well, uh,” Hayley cleared her throat nervously, “he’s going seeing as he’s the bride’s cousin and I’m maid of honor, so we’ll both be there. And, we’re both single… I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about whether we’re going together,” she said, shaking her head. “We’re not even together for that matter,” she added, resulting in the other girls snickering and giggling.

“No, you just have a friends with benefits thing going on,” Freya quipped, amused.

“We’re not together!” Hayley exclaimed.

“No, you he just takes your booty calls,” Davina joked grinning.

“He does not! I do not-” she started to argue, and felt herself flush.

“Just on-call room buddy,” Cami added, taking part in the teasing.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to be encouraging this, he’s your cousin!” she exclaimed, glaring at the other woman.

Cami shrugged, “I know, and that’s how I know he’s a nice guy. And, you’re my best friend, I want you to be happy. Both of you. If that’s sleeping with each other, who am I to stop you?”

“Ugh,” Hayley groaned. “You’re impossible, all of you,” she added, glaring at all of them.

“But, you love us,” Rebekah retorted in a sing-song voice.

“And, who are you bringing to the wedding, Bekah, now that you’re single?” she wiggled her eyebrows, causing Davina and Freya to snicker as Freya took Luke from Rebekah. “You know, so I can make sure you’re sat together, since I’m maid of honor and all,” she added with a smirk.

“Oh, you’re funny, Marshall!” Rebekah exclaimed.

The conversation drifted around like that as they sat down to have dinner, passing Luke around, who entertained everyone with his babbling and gurgling and peek-a-boos. Finally, Luke grew fussy and cranky, and Hayley took him to Rebekah’s room to give him his bottle (since she’d had a glass of wine and there hadn’t been enough time for it to leave her system) before settling him to sleep in his stroller, taking the monitor with her back to the table. They didn’t stay long after that, and Hope went home with Klaus and Cami, so Hayley, Nadia and Luke drove back home, to the house that was meant to be hers and Elijah’s, the one they liked the most during their house hunting, but was now just hers. Just hers to raise two of his kids in.

* * *

Hayley should have realized that her relatively calm routine as a single mom raising practically three kids wasn’t going to last for long. She just hadn’t exactly anticipated what exactly disrupted it.

A few days after New Year's, Hayley was at work. She had just expressed milk for Luke and dropped it off at the daycare and was meeting Declan for coffee. Which was not a date, despite the fact that Declan would have liked it to be.

“Look, Hales,” he drawled, “I know how you feel about the dreaded ‘b’ word, but as your boyfriend I care about you,” he said softly, reaching for her hand across the table. Hayley let him take it, let him tangle his fingers with hers, let his thumb rubbing over the ring on her index finger which still couldn’t bring herself to take off.

She bit her lip and glanced over at him before finally speaking, “I’m fine, Declan honestly.”

Declan quirked an eyebrow, “so, you just stood me up? You wound me, Hales,” he quipped, though she could hear the slight hurt in his voice.

“I didn’t. I told you, it’s complicated,” she sighed, licking her lips nervously. “Just- with the kids and everything…” she trailed off.

“Really? The kids? Hayley, those kids have a gaggle of aunts and uncles, plus one of them still has their dad around, who would all be happy to watch them so their mum could go on a date,” he said pointedly.

“I know, but they need me. I just think that considering how busy I am and how much the kids need me, we should maybe-”she started to suggest an indefinite raincheck on their date, but Declan interrupted her.

“Oh, you can’t break up with me,” he said, pouting slightly. “Not when we haven’t even gone on our first date,” he added, and she couldn’t help but smile a little in amusement.

“Well, you can’t break up when you’re not really a couple,” she quipped cheekily.

Declan chuckled, “yeah, but one half of this couple was deeply committed,” he retorted and she couldn’t help but snort. “Listen, you won’t know what you’re missing unless you try. Why don’t you come over to my place, I’ll cook you a nice dinner, and if you truly hate it, we can go our separate ways. Which, I’ll remind you, that you’ll have to do like a civilized person at a bar with bourbon,” he added, his blue eyes shining. Hayley chuckled. “But, I really hope you’ll like it,” he added. [And, that was what Hayley feared. Declan was a good guy, and they became friends when he arrived at St. John’s. He was even good with the kids, from the few times he’d come by her place. And, they had already slept together a few times, so the sex was good, too. So, really, what Hayley was afraid of was that she would enjoy a dinner with him too much].

Hayley opened her mouth to reply, to give in, but in that moment her phone pinged with a page. She pulled it out and glanced over at the screen, “Chief’s office. 9-1-1,” she said.

“Do you have to go?” Declan pouted.

“Uh, yes. I do. It’s the Chief. You try ignoring him, and let me know how it goes,” she told him as she stood up, grabbing her coffee. “Anyways, thanks for coffee. I’ll see you later,” she told him.

“Wait!” Declan called out as she started walking in the direction of the elevators. “What about our date?”

“I’ll text you!” she yelled and took off for the elevators. One elevator ride and a short walk later, she arrived in the Chief’s office, in the administrative wing to find all the Mikaelsons, except Rebekah, there along with the Chief and Jo, her boss. “What the fuck is going on?” she asked as she entered, staring at the people in the office. 

“Hey, Hayley,” Vincent said, flashing her a tense smile. [This only served to worry Hayley because Vincent only called her by her first name if this was a family matter]. “Why don’t you have a seat?” he suggested.

With a sigh, Hayley sat down beside Freya and shifted uncomfortably, “so, will someone tell me what the fuck is going on?” she snapped.

“Easy, love,” Klaus cut in, “we have no idea what’s going on. Vincent paged us all here,” he said.

“Well, we’re all here,” she remarked. “So?”

“Not quite,” Vincent shook his head. “Let’s just wait for Rebekah to get here, alright?” he said crossing his arms.

As if on cue, the door opened again moments later to reveal the younger Mikaelson sister. Rebekah strode in, clad in a black pantsuit and black stilettos, her blonde hair straight and hanging over her shoulder and looked around.

“Who died?” she finally asked, and swallowed thickly. Hayley’s heart hammered in her chest as she glanced over at Freya.

“Nobody died,” Kol muttered.

“Alright, guys,” Vincent finally said, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Listen up. We called you here because there’s something you all need to know. But, since Jo knows more about this than I do, I’m gonna hand it over to her,” he said and sat back.

Jo straightened herself and looked carefully at all of them, and licked her lips, then cleared her throat. Finally, she spoke, “well, there is no easy way to do this, or, well, say this…” she paused, took a deep breath, then released it, “it’s Elijah.” Audible gasps were heard around the room. Hayley was pretty sure someone – either Freya or Rebekah – sobbed. Hayley herself sat there and her hand flew to her mouth as her vision became blurry and her breath hitched in her throat.

“Oh my God,” Cami muttered.

“Bloody hell,” Kol whispered, clearly still in shock.

Hayley’s heart felt like it might burst out of her chest and her head was spinning, and she opened her mouth, but closed it, unable to say anything. Finally, after several attempts, she managed to croak, “is he-” but cut herself off, the thought too horrifying to finish.

Jo immediately spoke up, “oh my God! I didn’t mean it like that!” she exclaimed quickly. “He’s not dead. I’m sorry,” she said, and they let out collective sighs of relief. “God, I feel awful,” the trauma surgeon muttered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” she rambled, but Klaus cut her off.

“Just get to the damn point, will you?” he snapped.

“Right, yeah. A couple days ago, there was an IED explosion close to the military medical site in Afghanistan where Elijah has been stationed. Elijah was among those injured in the blast. They were all transported to a hospital nearby where Dr. Malraux is at the moment. She called me and told me what’s going on, and I tracked down the army personnel responsible for them. They’ve stabilized him in Germany and were transporting him to the New Orleans VA Medical Center, but I pulled some strings and managed to arrange for him to be transferred here to St. John’s,” she said, and Hayley could see the hint of a proud smirk on her face. Then, Jo sobered up, “he’s not critical, but he is severely injured. I don’t have all of the information, but I do know that he’s got a spinal injury, some of the shrapnel ended up in his upper leg, and even though they dealt with the abdominal injury, there is chance for a rebleed,” she said and there was another collective sigh of relief. Hayley felt someone rub her back, but she didn’t notice who it was. Instinctively, she rubbed her finger over the ring on her index finger.

“So,” she finally said, slowly, “he’s coming here? Elijah… is coming here?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” Jo answered evenly.

Hayley nodded, “okay,” she whispered softly. She stood up, “thanks for telling us, Dr. Laughlin. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go,” she said. And, with that, she turned around and left the office, slamming the door behind her. People stared at her as she walked as fast as she could away from the Chief’s office, but Hayley didn’t care. She wanted to scream, and cry, and rage at the Gods, but unfortunately she couldn’t.


	2. The Sight That Flashed Before Me Was Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vincent has to assemble Elijah's surgical team without using any of his best surgeons while Hayley and the rest of the Mikaelsons grapple with the news. Hayley tells Nadia about Elijah that evening. Finally, when Elijah is brought in, Hayley is forced to face him sooner, bringing up a lot of feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was meant to be about 8K, but then I decided to do the Nadia scene, and that took me to 9K+. But, hey, it's me, right? LOL  
> Anyways, hope you enjoy! And, have tissues :)))  
> P.S. The italics is a flashback to the "accident"

Hayley did not get very far from the Chief’s office before she was stopped, someone seizing her by the arm and spinning her around. At first, she panicked, and her heart hammered in her chest, fist flying blindly to defend herself until she realized it was Klaus.

“Klaus, what the hell?” she snapped, gritting her teeth.

“Calm down, love,” her daughter’s father sighed in exasperation. “No need to get your knickers in a twist,” he added sarcastically which earned him a scowl from her. “Now, as to what I want,” he drawled, and paused, “I want you to back to the Chief’s office.”

“And, why would I do that?” she demanded, crossing her arms. “That is a family matter,” she said, inclining her head towards the Chief’s office. “I’m not family,” she tried to conceal the hurt in her voice with anger, “I’m nothing! _He_ made sure of that!” she burst out, and felt tears prickle at her eyes, but she blinked them back.

Klaus quirked an eyebrow, “really? I think not. You are my daughter’s mother, you are Luke’s mother, and you are Nadia’s adoptive mother who’s been more of a mother than her actual mother,” he said in a low voice, though his tone was firm. “You’re not nothing, Hayley, you are family,” he added more gently. “Now, come on,” he muttered and seized her arm once again, but this time Hayley let him, and just followed along until Klaus finally stopped in a more secluded hallway. “Look,” he said softly, “I know that you are angry at him, I know that you are hurt, but you need to go back in there. We need you, your opinion.”

Hayley rolled her eyes, “it doesn’t matter, Klaus. Legally, my opinion doesn’t matter. I mean, we’re talking about his medical condition and that’s family only, right? And, I’m not family!” she repeated in an angry hiss, tears threatening to spill from her cheeks. “Not _his_ family, at least,” she amended when Klaus gave her a look. “We were never married or anything like that,” she sighed, running a hand haphazardly through her hair. She felt like crying as the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. [She’d had that honor with fucking Jackson of all people, but not with _Elijah_ , the man she loved]. “This,” she practically jabbed Klaus in the chest with her index finger, but meant to indicate the ring on it, “this doesn’t mean anything! E- Elijah broke every single promise attached to this ring, so it doesn’t mean anything!” she all but yelled tearfully. “I thought-” she cut herself off, and swallowed back tears, “I thought we had something. I thought we _meant_ something. I thought he _loved_ me, but he didn’t. He didn’t even _care_ about me!” she bit back a sob. “The bastard didn’t even care about me,” she repeated on the verge of tears.

“I’m so sorry, love,” he said softly.

“I just- he _left_ me!” she cried almost hysterically.

Klaus didn’t say anything for a while before he reached for her and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, and holding her tightly, rubbing his hand along her back. Hayley let him, and clung to him as she finally let those tears fall and sobbed into his shoulder, not caring if anyone saw them and wondered what this meant, what was wrong with her, or whatever. Klaus didn’t care either, and just stroked her back, murmuring, “shh,” in her ear. Eventually, after several minutes, her sobs subsided and she hiccupped as she calmed down, her breath hitching in her throat. She reached with her hand to wipe away her tears and sniffled.

“I miss him,” she admitted after a while, “I miss everything about him. And, then I feel guilty for missing him when he- when he hurt me so badly. And then, I feel angry at him. _So angry_ , Klaus,” she said empathizing on the word. Klaus just nodded. “And then, I miss him all over again.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I feel those things, too. We were only just repairing our relationship and properly close again, and then I lost him all over again. I’m angry, too, Hayley,” he told her. His expression softened, “but, I’m also terrified I might lose my brother… for good,” he admitted, and she could hear the fear in his voice, see it in his eyes, and her breath hitched in her throat. Because she felt it, too, deep down.

“I know,” she said softly, “me, too. Even though I’m all of those things, I…” she trailed off, unable to quite form the words. Klaus just nodded.

“This is why we need you in there, Hayley. I know you’re angry, and sad, and scared, and a million other things. My siblings feel the same way you do. But, we are a family and we need to be united on this. So, c’mon, wipe away your tears and let’s go,” he said, and finally she nodded, sniffling.

“Okay, you go,” she paused, “I, uh, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.”

“Hayley, everybody in that room is probably in tears except for Vincent and Jo. They’re not going to care, let’s just go,” he insisted.

“Fine,” she sighed, and together the two of them made their way back to the Chief’s office. And, Klaus had been right because upon entering Hayley noticed she wasn’t the only one in tears. [Hayley realized that as pissed as the Mikaelsons were at Elijah, he was their brother and they still loved him. And, they were scared he might not make it. Hayley tried not to dwell too much on that because she couldn’t handle it].

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Vincent grumbled. In Hayley and Klaus’ absence, he’d pulled out two whiteboards. On one several specialties were written, and after glancing at the other one, Hayley figured out, it was Elijah’s surgical team. [There was neuro, ortho, cardio, general plus Jo as team leader, three residents and one intern]. “Right, we’re just going to select his surgical team here. Which is a little complicated since none of you can operate on him, and that includes Hayley,” he explained. Hayley opened her mouth to protest, but after a look from Rebekah, she closed it. “So, we’re gonna have Al-Rashid for ortho,” he said, and when no one objected, he scrawled the name Al-Rashid, A. on the whiteboard below ortho. “Celeste can monitor his cardio, right?” he said awkwardly. “I mean, I know they have history, but err- he doesn’t have cardio injuries, it’s just for monitoring-” he was cut off by Kol.

“Yes, she can,” he said firmly.

“Good. Neuro… Fell?” he asked, marker already in hand.

“Absolutely not!” she shrieked, and everyone turned to her. “Meredith Fell is not going within one foot of Elijah with a scalpel!” she said, glaring at Vincent and at Jo, daring them to disagree with her.

“Now, Hayley, I know you’re upset, but-” Vincent started to argue, but Hayley interrupted him.

“This isn’t about me being upset. This is about Elijah. And, while we may not be married, I was his girlfriend and I _know_ him,” she said, emphasizing the word. “He told me as much. That there’s no one else he would want for someone he cares about because she’s good, but he wouldn’t want her treating him. There’s- Meredith is so judgy over his alcoholism, she’s commented on it so many times in a really mean way and I just- I just don’t want her anywhere near him with a scalpel, so I’m saying no,” she said, heaving. “And, considering the fact that you all wanted me here so much for this, my vote should count as a veto,” she added.

No one said anything before Vincent finally nodded, “okay, then,” he said and scratched his chin. “Well, then, should we go with Dr. O’Connell, Dr. Laughlin?” he asked.

Jo glanced seemed to ponder this for a second, “sounds good to me,” she said.

It took Hayley a few seconds to realize that they were talking about Declan. Well, shit. So, Elijah’s only options for survival were a woman he didn’t want within a foot of him with a scalpel and the man sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. Hayley almost snorted at the thought, but didn’t say anything.

“You good with this?” Jo asked, glancing over at the Mikaelsons. No one said anything, or just shrugged, so Vincent wrote O’Connell, D. below neuro.

“Okay, well, moving on,” Vincent said. “General. Well, Klaus is obviously out. Hmm,” he said and rubbed his beard.

“Well, the answer is quite obvious, Vincent,” Klaus snapped. When Vincent raised an eyebrow, Klaus rolled his eyes. “You. My brother needs to be in the care of the best this hospital has to offer. Obviously, the best can’t legally operate on him, but he needs the next best thing. You were Head of General a few years ago before you made Chief. And, I know you’re good. So, you should do it,” Klaus explained like it was obvious.

Vincent nodded, “okay. Any objections?” No one objected, so he wrote his own name below general. “Now, for residents,” he said with a heavy sigh. The resident pool was a little more difficult.

“Put Malraux instead of one resident,” Jo said after a while. “She’s a board certified trauma surgeon and she’s been taking care of Elijah since he was injured. She still has privileges here, so…” she trailed off. “Then, put Rosza, I know he’s good with trauma,” she added.

“And, Vanchure, too. She’s a third year resident, she’s good,” Hayley added.

“Okay,” Vincent said nodding. “Klaus, who’s your favorite intern?”

Klaus grinned evilly and Hayley felt her stomach twist nervously, “Parker,” he said simply.

“Which one? There’s two of them,” Vincent grumbled.

Hmm, Klaus seemed to ponder this for a second, “I’d go with Blonde. He’s a little brighter than his sister,” Klaus quipped with a smirk. Hayley shot him a glare.

“ _I like_ Twinderella,” Kol offered much to Klaus’ amusement, who wiggled his eyebrows. “Oi, not like that, Nik, you arse!” he yelled as Klaus cackled.

“Hey, you two!” Vincent yelled just as Kol looked like he might lunge at Klaus. “Don’t even think about it! This is my office, not a clubhouse! There will be no violence in here!” he yelled and glared at the two.

“Yes, Chief,” the two brothers muttered with a sigh.

“Okay, then,” Vincent said clearing his throat. “Looks like we have our team. I didn’t put Tristan, but he should probably be in there. I mean, he’ll probably need skin grafts, although Tristan will probably go in another time to make him pretty and all that,” he said and they all nodded. He wrote de Martel, T. under plastics and with that the board was complete. “Good, Jo and I will brief them about the surgery and everything,” he added. “Do you all need anything else?” he asked, but they shook their heads.

“Hayley, can you take the E.R. tomorrow?” Jo asked as the Mikaelsons started leaving.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll, uh, I’ll figure something else out with Luke,” she said, nodding gratefully for the opportunity to be busy the next day.

“Good. Then, we’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, flashing Hayley a smile. Vincent just nodded at them, and that was obviously a dismissal. Hayley followed after the others and exited Vincent’s office.

“I, uh, I should probably talk to Nadia about this tonight,” she said after a while and several heads turned to her. “She needs to know,” she added and the others nodded. Rebekah hugged her goodbye before dashing off, Kol got paged, and so did Freya. And, then Cami had a consult in the E.R., so it was just her and Klaus. “Klaus, you wanna take Hope tonight?” she asked.

“Does that mean I have to tell her what’s going on?” he asked her, seeming almost perplexed.

Hayley sighed and ran her hand through her hair, “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Yes? Maybe?” she shook her head. “I mean, she’s eight, you don’t have to. Not that I want to keep this from her. But, you know…” she trailed off and bit her lip. “But, she’s not a baby anymore either, and this is her family, too, so… I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what’s the best way to go,” she admitted helplessly.

Klaus rested his hand on her shoulder, “easy there, love. Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk it over with Camille, too, and I’ll call you before I do anything. I, for one, want to protect her no matter what as much as possible. But, I am just as conflicted as you,” he said in a gentle voice. “It’s going to be okay, Hayley. You just worry about Nadia and the little guy,” he added and she smiled tearfully.

“Thanks, Klaus,” she whispered and they exchanged a quick hug before Hayley kissed his cheek and headed to the attendings’ lounge to change before going to pick up Luke. [Nadia was going to get home by herself from dance class around 6:00pm].

* * *

_One moment everything was fine, or as fine as it could be in a combat zone, and Elijah had just finished a surgery and was walking back to camp, and the next there was a loud, booming sound and the earth shook before he felt himself thrown forwards and stabs of pain in his back and leg. His ears rang as the booming sound rang through the camp once again and he felt something slam into him. IED, his brain supplied as the blast repeated._

_People were screaming, soldiers shouting orders, though it was all distorted because his ears were still ringing, and Elijah tried blinking but his vision was spotty. He reached his hand to the back of his head and hissed in pain as he felt something wet. When he pulled his hand away, it was red with blood. There was a stabbing pain in his back and he reached to touch it and felt something lodged in there. He didn’t need to see his hand to know he was bleeding there, too. And then, he shifted so he could assess his leg, the motion causing pain to shoot up his spine, and felt something lodged in there too – probably shrapnel – and there was blood trickling down his thigh._

_“Aargh,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. Radio, he thought. I need my radio. Taking several deep breaths, which was painful because he probably had some broken ribs, he managed to shift around enough to reach his radio. He clicked on the transmission button, his fingers sticky and wet with blood, and the radio crackled. “Mayday, mayday,” he rasped groaning. “Mayday!” he repeated, more loudly this time. “Mayday! Mayday! Over!” he yelled._

_His vision was even more spotty now and his ears were ringing, but he thought he heard “copy” on the other end._

_His eyelids were growing heavier and heavier and as he stared up at the sky, wondering if anyone was going to come for him he saw her. Hayley. She was smiling, laughing, her hair spilling over her shoulders in those beautiful waves. He was holding her and she seemed so happy and he smiled, relaxing despite the pain he was in. It almost felt like a dream, which was better than the reality. And then, his world went black._

* * *

With only Luke and Nadia at home that evening, Hayley made a light dinner and her and Nadia ate while Luke sat in his high chair playing with one of the toys he’d gotten for Christmas. Hayley attempted to get him to try some pureed squash, but was unsuccessful, with the squash ending up on the floor and on both of their clothes. Hayley groaned.

“You okay?” Nadia asked as the two of them cleaned the kitchen, Luke babbling in the high chair, giggling as his sister made peek-a-boos every time she stood up.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hayley muttered, “just distracted I guess.” She finished cleaning and stood up, taking the plates to the kitchen to wash them while Nadia retrieved one of the spare t-shirts of Luke’s and changed him quickly.

It was quiet between them as Hayley watched the clothes while Nadia played with Luke.

“Watch him while I go prepare his bath?” she asked and Nadia just nodded as she did peek-a-boos which sent Luke into fits of giggles.

Hayley went up to the bathroom next to Luke’s nursery and filled the bathtub, preparing a pajama onesie, bodysuit, baby oil, clean diaper and socks to change Luke into. She then went into her own room and changed into a pair of shorts and tank top herself, grateful that none of the squash ended up on her face. Once Luke’s bath was ready, she took him from Nadia and carried him upstairs while Nadia went to her room.

Luke loved bath time, and it usually made for some entertainment, but tonight Hayley was a bit distracted as she watched him play. She washed him quickly and carefully as he babbled and giggled, then picked him up, wrapping him in a fluffy towel and carried him onto the changing table she kept in the bathroom. Unfortunately, Luke didn’t like post-bath changing and he whined and squirmed as Hayley tried to changed.

“Oh, who’s being a good boy, hmm?” she cooed as she swiftly put a new diaper on him, then the bodysuit. Luke just gurgled and she chuckled. “Luke!” she exclaimed, tickling his tummy gently. “Oh, yes! You’re being a good boy, aren’t you? You’re being good, right, bunny?” she cooed as she continued to tickle him, blowing a few raspberries against his thighs which caused him to giggle. “We are all done with bath time, and now it’s story time, then Luke’s going to eat, so he can grow up to be a big boy, then it’s bedtime,” she said in a soft baby voice. “Bed time, yes,” she cooed and Luke whined, pouting at her. “Oh, you don’t want to go to bed? Well, tough luck, bud, ‘cause you have to,” she said as she finished buttoning his pajama onesie, put on his socks and picked him up.

Hayley carried him out of the bathroom and into her bedroom to read to him, nurse him, and put him to bed. She grabbed one of his favorite books and sat down in the rocking chair, positioning Luke in the crook of her arms and opened the book, beginning to read as Luke rubbed tiredly at his eyes. The book was short, and she finished reading quickly just as Luke was already reaching for her breasts, fussing and whining.

“Okay, bunny,” she murmured softly as she unhooked the strap of her bra and freed her breast, and Luke latched immediately, grabbing onto her breast with both hands, suckling greedily. “Guess someone was hungry, hmm?” she murmured as she kissed his hair gently.

One nursing session and a little bit of rocking later, Luke was half-asleep and Hayley put him into his crib, patting his back gently and singing the tune of a lullaby softly before putting a pacifier into his mouth and leaving the room as Luke closed his eyes and his breathing became more even. She let out a relieved sigh as she leaned against the wall, pulling the door to the bedroom slightly and taking the baby monitor with her before making her way to Nadia’s room.

She knocked before a she heard a soft “come in,” and opened the door, making her way in. Nadia was sitting on her window seat, reading a book.

“Hey,” Hayley said softly as she crossed the room and plopped down on the teenager’s bed. “I need to talk to you about something,” she added, and Nadia finally closed her book before turning around so she was facing Hayley, her back leaning against the window.

“So, what’s up?” the teenager asked, not beating around the bush.

Hayley took a deep breath, “it’s- it’s about your dad,” she finally said and Nadia stared at her, her brow furrowed. “Elijah,” Hayley added for clarification.

“Oh,” the sixteen-year-old muttered, staring at Hayley with those dark brown eyes of hers, the same color as Elijah’s. “What about him?” she asked, twirling a brunette curl between her fingers. “Did something happen to him? Is he back? Is he-” she stopped herself and her lip quivered, and Hayley immediately knew what she wasn’t asking.

“No,” she shook her head for emphasis, “he’s not. He’s… alive. He’s alive. There was an accident. IED explosion near their base. He’s badly injured, but alive and he’s coming here. To St. John’s,” she explained, the words tumbling out of her mouth and Nadia stared at her.

“Why?” she whispered. “Why is he coming here?” she wondered. “What’s the point of coming here?”

Hayley sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair, “his injuries are quite severe and the VA isn’t equipped to treat him. They stabilized him and they’re transporting him here. He’ll be at the hospital tomorrow,” she told her.

Her adoptive daughter didn’t say anything and just stared at her, then pulled her legs to her chest and hugged her knees. She inhaled and exhaled several times before finally looking up at Hayley. “I lost him once already. Well, that would be a lie. I didn’t actually have a dad when Elijah left, we were just getting to know each other. How can you lose something you never had?” she sniffled and Hayley’s heart broke for the girl in front of her, the girl that had come to be like a daughter to her in the past year.

“Oh, Nadia…” she muttered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re actually the one who’s going to lose him. You and the Mikaelsons. I’ll be fine,” she said, flashing Hayley a brave smile, but Hayley could see her lip quivering. She stood up and slowly walked over to the window seat her adoptive daughter was perched on, and sat down next to her.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t say that.”

“What? It’s true. You can’t lose someone you didn’t have,” Nadia choked back a sob before bursting into tears. Hayley didn’t say anything and just wrapped her arms around her, pulling her to her and holding her close, rubbing her back in comfort as Nadia let it all out.

* * *

The next day, Hayley ended up feeling extremely grateful to Jo for making her man the E.R. as much as she didn’t enjoy it. Managing the E.R. had always been more of Keelin’s area of expertise while Hayley preferred to just jump headfirst into some gory trauma. But, today she found that having to assign beds, oversee residents and be the point person for incoming traumas kept her mind off of what was happening at the hospital. [Of course, she was reminded of the fact when she realized that her best residents weren’t available]. She even managed to check on all the incomings, have something to eat and assisted on two surgeries before her phone pinged with a message from the daycare that Luke had woken up and was crying. Hayley’s mood depleted and she left Liv Parker, a relatively competent resident in charge before rushing over to the daycare. [Thank God nurse Agnes wasn’t on duty].

“Sorry, I’m late,” she muttered to the daycare worker who was holding a crying Lucas, his face red from crying, his small body shaking with sobs. “Oh boy,” she mumbled taking him from the daycare worker.

“He woke up crying, and we tried shushing him, then we tried rocking, then we tried giving him tea, but he’s still crying,” the daycare worker said breathlessly as Hayley held Lucas, bouncing him slightly in her arms. “I’m sorry, but we just-” she started to apologize, but Hayley cut her off.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s probably just hungry, it’s fine,” she waved the young woman off, grabbed the diaper bag and left. Lucas continued to wail, and Hayley turned her focus to the five-month-old. “Shh, don’t cry,” she whispered as she rubbed his back soothingly, “shh, don’t cry baby boy. Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, mommy is here,” she cooed softly, and Lucas let out a small, sad whimper. “Oh boy, that sounds like a big deal,” she muttered. Lucas just shook his head and gurgled unhappily, reaching with his small hands for her breasts, trying to grab, though unsuccessfully which only seemed to annoy him more. “No, Luke, bunny, that’s not gonna work,” she said softly, but Luke ignored her and seemed on the verge of tears once more, his hands grabbing for her breasts unsuccessfully, but finding her stethoscope. Briefly, he seemed focused on that so much so that he stopped crying and was currently grabbing the stethoscope with both his hands. “That looks fun, doesn’t it?” she murmured. “Yeah, it does. Mommy uses it to listen to patients’ hearts and lungs,” she told the baby as she carried him to the attendings’ lounge. The elevator thankfully came, and Hayley and Lucas got on, and a few people looked over at her, or well, at Luke in her arms, flashing him smiles. “See, I put these things in my ears,” she explained in a baby voice and Luke made a babbling noise, “and this goes on the patient,” she continued, indicating the circular end, “and I can listen to their heart and their lungs and see if it’s all working properly. Lucas made a babbling sound as he continued to grab, then let go of the rubber tubing, giggling softly. Hayley just grinned and kissed his hair softly.

Someone cleared their throat, causing Hayley to turn and find a blonde lady frowning at her. “Excuse me, ma’am?” she said in a shrill voice. “Doctor?”

“Who me?” Hayley asked and the woman nodded. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, um, I was wondering how safe it is for your baby to be playing with that,” she said, frowning in Hayley’s direction.

Hayley plastered on a smile, “well, at the moment my stethoscope is the only thing keeping him from crying, so I’ll take my chances,” she quipped, smirking slightly as Luke babbled and giggled.

“Well, it’s not very clean, is it?” the woman retorted.

“Actually, I clean mine quite often. Every 30-60 minutes, depends on how many patients I’m seeing. Also, he’s not putting it anywhere his mouth, is he?” she said just as the elevator stopped on the surgical floor. “Thank you for your concern, though. Have a nice day,” she said and got off the elevator. “Alright, bunny, let’s go find the attendings’ lounge so you can have your lunch, hmm?” Luke said nothing, but Hayley soon noticed it was because he was trying to put the chest piece into his mouth. “Oh, no, buddy!” she said quickly, pulling it from him. “You don’t do that, that’s not very clean. Remember the lady in the elevator? I told her you don’t do things like that, do you?” she scolded him, but he ignored her and reached for it again clumsily. “No, Luke, you don’t touch that!” she told him firmly, refusing to raise her voice. Luke squirmed and tried to grab again, but she just yanked the stethoscope, pulling it from around her neck and stuffed it in the pocket of her lab coat. Which, she should have known would upset Luke, who starting crying and squirming, pouting unhappily. “Oh,” she sighed, “you didn’t like what mommy did, did you? Well, tough luck, buddy, because mommy did it for your own good,” she quipped. Luke just wailed. “I know, I know! I know, bunny, you’re hungry, but that’s not food. That’s mommy’s stethoscope,” she said. “Can you say that? Ste-tho-scope,” she said, pronouncing it by syllable as she hurried towards the attendings’ lounge. Luke just whimpered sadly. “Oh, bunny, shh,” Hayley cooed, rubbing his back.

Finally, they reached the attendings’ lounge, and Hayley pushed the door open, finding it empty, and made a beeline for the couch. She dropped the diaper bag down on the couch and started pulling her lab coat off as Luke cried, which was easier said than done.

“I know, bunny, I know. You’re hungry, mommy knows that, but I gotta get this off, so I can feed you,” she told him in a soft baby voice, though she doubted it helped because he only continued to cry. Hayley huffed in annoyance and finally managed to get the lab coat off as Luke continued to squirm in her arms. “Now, how is mommy gonna get her scrub top off, huh? Any ideas?” she muttered, but Luke just wailed. “I know, you’re very annoyed with mommy for denying you food, but soon, bunny, just give me a moment,” she murmured. She crouched down and laid Luke down on the couch, holding him in place with one hand, and used her free hand to pull the scrub top off. Once she’d gotten it off, she thanked her lucky stars that Luke hadn’t attempted to roll yet, and picked him up lest he get any ideas. “Shh, shh, bunny, I know, I know,” she murmured as she rubbed his back and stood up before sitting down on the couch. She undid the first few buttons of her henley and unhooked the strap of her bra, freeing her breast as she positioned Luke, who let out a small whimper, in the crook of her arm and guided him gently until he latched onto the breast and began suckling. Hayley took several deep breaths and let them out in an attempt to relax.

Eventually, Luke pulled away from one breast, so Hayley re-hooked the strap before unhooking the other one, offering it to him, and he latched onto that one, too.

“You were really hungry, hmm?” she murmured softly just as the door opened to reveal Klaus.

“Oh, hey,” he said upon noticing her. “He awake?” he asked, his voice a low whisper.

She shook her head, “nope, just having his fill. He was really hungry. He’s going through a bit of a sleep regression, so he woke up earlier and naturally wanted food. He cried the entire way from daycare to here,” she sighed and Klaus nodded as he poured himself a cup of tea and sat down across from her.

“Poor guy. How is he doing? He’s almost six months, isn’t he?” he wondered as he took a sip of his tea.

“Mhm,” she nodded as Luke continued suckling. “I’ve gotta schedule his six-month checkup. He’s rolling back and forth, too,” she said. “We’re adding a few more veggies and fruits to our list of solids, too. And, sippy cups, so there’s tea and water in the future,” she said softly, smiling fondly at Luke, who had grabbed onto her breast with both hands and was suckling greedily. Klaus grinned, pleased and took another sip of his tea. Finally, Luke was done and he pulled away, pushing her breast away with his hand.

“Uh uh,” she murmured, shaking her head, “that’s not going to help, bunny,” she cooed. But, Luke just shook his head and pushed the breast with his hand. “I can see that you’re done, but mommy’s gotta dress up,” she told him softly.

“Here,” Klaus said, standing up. “I’ll burp him, you get dressed,” he held his hands out for Luke and she smiled gratefully as she handed him one of Luke’s small burping towels.

“Thanks,” she sighed as Klaus settled Luke’s head onto his shoulder and patted his back gently. Hayley hooked her bra strap, buttoned her henley and pulled on her scrub top, glad that nothing had spilled. Once Luke had burped, Klaus switched his position and the baby giggled as he reached to grab onto Klaus’ nose. Klaus just chuckled as Hayley laid out a changing pad onto the couch and pulled out the few supplies she needed for a diaper change. Klaus then bounced Luke for a bit and made various animal sounds that made Luke giggle before he brought him over to the couch, laying him onto it, so Hayley could change him. She made quick work of his change and changed his onesie, too before handing him back to Klaus. As Klaus played with Luke, Hayley could sense what he was thinking; that he had missed all of this with Hope and he still felt guilty about it. Hayley just smiled softly and put everything back into the diaper bag, going to throw the full diaper into the trash can before returning to her seat on the couch.

“You can have something, if you want. Coffee or tea or something,” Klaus said as he bounced Luke on his lap.

“Thanks,” Hayley muttered as she went to grab a glass of water. She downed it before returning to Luke and Klaus. “Here, I’ll take him so you can finish your tea,” she said and took Luke from Klaus, resting him on her chest as she laid back and rocking him slightly. She pulled out his toy from the diaper bag and Luke giggled as he shook the toy which made a rattling sound much to his delight.

“They brought him in,” Klaus finally said after a while, breaking the silence that had settled. Hayley nodded, immediately knowing whom he meant, but didn’t interrupt him “He’s in the E.R., I think. They’re running tests,” he sighed.

“Okay,” she finally whispered. “Did you- did you see him?”

Klaus’ expression grew somber, “yes, I did. And,” he paused and shuddered, “it doesn’t look good. And, I feel bloody helpless,” he sighed sadly.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I know.” Luke babbled as he continued to play on Hayley’s chest.

“Do you?” Klaus snapped, setting his mug down with a thud. “Do you really?” he scowled at her. Luke fussed quietly and Hayley flashed Klaus a pointed look. “Because, at the moment my brother is fighting for his life and you don’t seem to give a rat’s ass about it,” he grumbled.

“Keep it down, will you?” she whispered firmly. “And, yes I do know. I know how bad this could be, I saw that whiteboard,” she added, glaring at him.

“That whiteboard was nothing!” Klaus growled, gritting his teeth. “You didn’t _see_ him, writhing in pain,” he looked on the verge of tears and sniffled. “And, knew you could do nothing to help. Not that you’d care either way,” he added more quietly.

“Oh, come on,” she hissed more loudly than she’d intended causing Luke to whimper. “Sorry, bunny,” she murmured more quietly. “You’re being really unfair right now, Klaus. Just because I’m not a wreck for everyone to see doesn’t mean that this isn’t killing me. Because it is! Why do you think I agreed to man the E.R. today? It gives me something to do so I’m not losing my mind waiting for word from someone on the condition of the father of my children,” she whisper-yelled, glaring at Klaus.

Klaus chuckled bitterly, “father of your children? Is that all he’s been reduced to?” he quipped cynically, though there was a hint of hurt in his voice. If Hayley wasn’t holding Luke she would have punched him. Luke dropped his toy and Klaus picked it up, setting it wordlessly on the couch. She sat up straighter and sat Luke on her lap facing away from her and handed him another toy.

“No, of course not,” she sighed. “You’re being a bit dramatic, don’t you think? I didn’t know I had to explain my whole relationship with your brother or what he means to me right now for you to believe that I care,” she said, pursing her lips. “Because I do care, Klaus,” her expression softened. “Of course I care.”

“Really? You can’t even say his name,” Klaus snapped. “It’s always ‘your brother’, ‘father of my children’, or even ‘him’. You won’t even call him by his name and that says quite a lot, love,” he sneered, but Hayley didn’t say anything. “Clearly, you don’t care about Elijah and you never did. If he dies it probably won’t make a difference to you,” he added cruelly.

“Get out,” she growled. “Get the hell out of here!” she snapped, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, and she blinked them back, refusing to give Klaus the satisfaction. Klaus stood up and stalked off in the direction of the door. “You want to know why I don’t say his name if I can?” she snapped, causing Klaus to stop. “Because I can’t bear. I literally cannot bear to say his name because saying his name makes it all real. And, I just- I _can’t_. Of course I care about him, about what happens to him. I love him, Klaus. I still love him, and believe me when I say, I feel so freaking stupid for it!” she exclaimed, her voice thick with emotion. “I feel so, so stupid for still loving him. So, of course I care what happens to him,” she added and sniffled.

Klaus didn’t say anything and just shook his head and left, slamming the door behind him.

Luke wailed, a loud, scared cry and threw his toy down. Hayley immediately switched his position and stood up, holding him in her arms and bouncing him lightly.

“Shh, bunny, don’t cry,” she whispered, rubbing his back soothingly. “Don’t cry, bunny, shh,” she muttered softly and Luke finally stopped after a few more back rubs, letting out a whimper. “I know, I know,” she murmured as she rocked him lightly. “Mommy and Uncle Klaus were yelling, and that was scary, I’ll bet?” Lucas just whimpered sadly and rested his head against her chest. “I’m so sorry, buddy. Mommy didn’t mean to yell so loudly, but Uncle Klaus was being an- well, he was being really mean, wasn’t he? So, mommy yelled, and I know that upset you, huh, buddy?” she cooed softly. “Yeah, it was. Mommy is sorry,” she muttered and Lucas made a babbling sound, lifting his head from her chest to peer at her with those dark brown eyes of his. “Do you forgive mommy?”

“Eh…” he sighed and rested his head on her chest once more and Hayley couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hey, why don’t we read a book, then mommy will take you to daycare, hmm?” she suggested and with Lucas in her arms, she went over to the diaper bag and fished around for one of the two small books she’d packed for Lucas. It was an animal book, and Lucas babbled excitedly upon seeing it, so Hayley grabbed it. The two of them settled on the couch, Lucas curled against her side and Hayley opened the book and started to read.

* * *

A book and some peek-a-boos later along with two spoons of banana purée as a snack, Lucas had considerably calmed down and was resting content in her arms. Hayley decided to take this opportunity to take him to daycare, so it wouldn’t be too close to his naptime. She packed the diaper bag, put on her lab coat and took positioned Luke in her arms before making her way to the daycare.

By the time, she’d dropped Luke off, however, it was well passed the breaktime she’d intended, so she hurried to the E.R.

“Parker, I hope you haven’t killed anyone!” she yelled as soon as she entered the E.R. and made a beeline for the nurses’ desk, slinging her stethoscope around her neck now that Luke wasn’t with her.

“Nope, but Dr. Laughlin is looking for you,” Liv said, and gestured behind Hayley. Hayley turned around to find Jo walking towards her.

“Hayley, good, you’re here,” she said a little breathlessly.

“Um, yeah. Sorry, I just- I had to calm Luke down,” she muttered.

“It’s fine, Parker seems to be doing well,” Jo said with a nod. “But, I do need you for something else,” she added and Hayley’s stomach clenched.

“Is- is everything okay?” she asked quietly.

Jo opened her mouth to say something, but then the doors to one of the trauma rooms opened and Keelin stepped out.

“Dr. Laughlin! They need you in there!” she yelled.

“Excuse me,” Jo muttered and left, whispering something to Keelin on the way in. Keelin strode over to Hayley.

“Hey there, hotshot!” she said by way of greeting, grinning at Hayley.

“Oh, hey, Keelin!” Hayley stepped towards her friend, but stopped.

“I’d hug you right now, but I can’t,” Keelin said with a heavy sigh.

Hayley nodded, “how- how’s it going?” she wondered.

The other doctor sighed heavily, “well, we’re running his tests now, but he’s… he’s very frantic. And, for the neuro tests we need him awake. Otherwise, we’d just sedate him,” she sighed, but this just made Hayley more nervous. “He’s asking for you,” she said after a few seconds and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat. “So, I was wondering if you’d come in. We’ve tried everything, but he’s really frantic and keeps asking for you,” she added as if Hayley hadn’t heard her the first time around.

“Look, Keelin, I- things between me and E- Elijah are really complicated. I can’t, I’m sorry,” she said shaking her head.

Keelin sighed, “yeah. I get that you’re pissed at him, and nobody is blaming you, but the neuro tests won’t work if he’s unconscious. And, when he’s awake, he’s pretty frantic. You’re the only one who might be able to calm him down. Trust me, we tried his siblings, but there is no other option. Just you. He just keeps asking for you,” she said and Hayley’s breath caught in her throat.

The way Keelin said it… Hayley couldn’t say no. So, after another inhale and exhale, she nodded. “Fine,” she whispered, gritting her teeth. “I’ll do it.”

“Okay, c’mon,” Keelin said and gestured for Hayley to follow her.

Hayley’s legs felt like Jell-O as she walked after Keelin, but finally they arrived in front of trauma 3, and the doors slid open and she was being pulled inside. And, in hindsight, Hayley should have realized that neuro tests meant that Declan was going to be there, but hindsight was always 20/20 and it hadn’t occurred to Hayley. So, she walked past Declan and all but gasped when she finally saw him.

“Elijah…” she breathed out, her hand flying to her mouth. He was lying on his back, surrounded by tubes and wires, gauze wrapped around his midsection, cuts and bruises on his face, a tourniquet on his thigh. As she walked towards the small stool they’d pulled for her, she noticed he looked thinner than she remembered, and his hair was slightly longer, tousled, a bandage around his head. But, his eyes were his eyes, that deep, dark brown that she had once fallen in love with, the same dark brown as Nadia and Lucas, though with Lucas the shape was the same, too. _And Jonathan, too_ , she reminded herself sadly. He was thrashing, and the nurses and doctors struggled to keep him still, so Hayley moved closer until she was in his line of vision before speaking. “Elijah,” she repeated, in a soft, raspy voice. “Hey,” she whispered, “it’s me. Hayley. I’m here.”

He turned slightly, and his eyes seemed to focus on her and he finally relaxed as he stared at her. “Hayley…” he finally said after a while, his voice hoarse and raspy, but it was his voice, a voice Hayley had been wanting to hear from months, and she had to swallow back tears that threatened to spill.

“Yeah,” she whispered, sitting down on the chair. “It’s me.”

“Hayley,” he repeated, his voice trembling. She could see his eyes shining with unshed tears and her own vision was blurry, but she blinked the tears back. “Hayley,” he said for a third time, practically choking on a sob. “I’m so sorry,” he muttered, “I’m so sorry.”

Hayley swallowed. [She had been waiting, wanting to hear those words for the past year, but as he said them, she knew they didn’t fix anything. Still, she was supposed to calm him down, so she wasn’t going to pick a fight. Not here, not now]. Instead, she said, “I know. I know, Elijah.”

“I- I saw you,” he said after a while, his hand twitching, and she realized he was trying to reach for her, so instead she rested her own hand on top of his.

“You saw me?” she wondered, her own voice breathless.

“Yeah. When I- when the blast… I was thrown back… felt my body collide with me. I saw you. I had a dream, I think, because everything went black soon after. I was- was holding you… you seemed happy…” his voice trailed off, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat.

“It wasn’t a dream,” she whispered softly. “And, I was happy. With you,” she added. “It was just- it was a while ago, b- Elijah,” she stumbled over her words, almost calling him ‘baby’. She looked away, and wiped her tears hastily.

“Yeah…” he sighed. Without their realization, their fingers had intertwined, but neither of them pulled away.

But, before either of them could say anything, Declan spoke, and Hayley forced herself not to look at him.

“So, Elijah- err- Mr. Mikaelson- uh, um, Dr. Mikaelson,” he fumbled over his words, “I’m going to need you to-” but he didn’t finish because Elijah had interrupted him.

“It’s Captain Mikaelson,” he said gruffly and Hayley’s eyes widened slightly. She realized that she hadn’t known that. [Elijah’s military past was something they’d never really discussed, not beyond the basic facts of when he’d been on active duty. She didn’t even know his ranking, and the realization hit her like a ton of bricks].

“Okay, then,” Declan muttered, “Captain Mikaelson, I’m going to need you to respond to a few stimuli,” he explained.

Hayley only half listened to the neuro exam, and couldn’t help but feel relieved because so far there was nothing to really worry about. Instead, she focused her attention on Elijah who was looking at her.

“T- there is something else,” he said after a while.

“What is it?” she asked softly, unconsciously rubbing his knuckles.

* * *

She was here. Hayley. She was at his side, holding his hand, talking to him, and Elijah almost couldn’t believe it. But, the way her thumbs rubbed over his knuckles absently was enough to make him believe. He’d finally managed to calm down with her there, focusing on her, on the sound of her voice, her face, her soft hand on his. But, then he went and slipped out accidentally.

“When I- when I thought I might die, I- I realized that I was never going to get the chance to meet Luke. My only- my only wish was to meet Luke,” he said, without even realizing it, his voice shaking with emotion, and Hayley’s eyes widened with surprise. _Shit_ , he cursed at himself in his head. He hadn’t intended to slip out like that, but Hayley caught it and there was no way denying it now.

“Luke?” she asked, the shock obvious in her voice. “H- how do you know that I had the baby. That it was a boy… that I named him Luke?” she asked.

“Shh,” he muttered in an attempt to soothe her. “Luke is short for Lucas, isn’t it?” he asked and she nodded. “And, well, Henrik told me. We’ve, uh, we’ve kept in touch. Apparently, not all of my siblings hate me,” he admitted, his voice bitter on the last part.

Hayley’s eyes only widened further and her burrows furrowed adorably in confusion. “What do you mean?” she finally asked. “I thought- I thought you cut your siblings off just like you did with me,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper, and he felt a pang of guilt at the barely concealed hurt in her voice.

“Well, after I-” he cut himself off and paused for a few seconds, “after I left,” he finally said, “my siblings cut me off. Out of loyalty to you, or anger at me, I’m not sure,” he shrugged and hissed at throbbing pain in his upper body. Hayley glanced at him in concern, but he shook his head, “I’m fine,” he muttered.

But, Hayley wasn’t the only one who heard him because Dr. Malraux shouted, “let’s give him another shot of lido!” as soon as she did. He didn’t complain, and the lidocaine provided some relief for his aching body.

“I didn’t know,” Hayley said softly, grabbing his attention once more. “I thought…” she trailed off and shook her head. “So, Henrik kept in touch?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “He told me about Luke and a few other things, but well, it’s not like we could talk every day,” he admitted and she nodded understandingly, though he wasn’t sure what she understood.

“So,” Hayley said after a while, as Dr. O’Connell continued to prod at him, “Kol and Davina got married,” she said and he raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Kol? Really?” he asked, perking up slightly.

“Yeah. They sort of eloped, but invited the family minus your parents,” she told him. “And, Rebekah and Marcel broke up on Thanksgiving,” she continued. Elijah nodded, not entirely surprised. Rebekah and Marcel had been on and off ever since they first got together, though he’d thought that this time they were in for the long haul.

And, he couldn’t help but ask, “why? What happened?”

“Well, it was the whole kids thing,” Hayley said and Elijah had a feeling there was more to it than just ‘the whole kids thing’, but Hayley wasn’t going to tell him out of loyalty to Rebekah. So, he’d have to talk to Rebekah himself at some point. “Things were tense for a while, but they just blew up on Thanksgiving,” she sighed and he nodded. “I think Thanksgiving might be jinxed,” she added jokingly and he couldn’t help but chuckle which made his ribs ache and he let out another pained groan. Hayley rubbed his knuckles in comfort and he relaxed, though he wondered if she was even aware of what she was doing. “Cami and Klaus are planning their wedding,” she continued. “It’s in March. Freya and Keelin moved in together after boards, but then Keelin went with MSF, so they’re doing the whole long-distance thing,” she added and he nodded again.

“Have you seen my parents recently?” he finally asked after a few moments of silence.

Hayley shook her head, “not really, no,” she said simply.

He just nodded, not wanting to say anything else about the subject, not wanting to dwell any longer on Mikael and Esther.

“Although, I hope she stays,” Hayley said after a while. “Keelin. The E.R. needs her,” she explained and he nodded.

“She is very skilled,” he admitted and Hayley let out a small laugh. Elijah wanted to ask her about Luke, about Hope and Nadia, but he wasn’t sure she would let him.

But, Hayley seemed to know what he was thinking. “They’re okay,” she said after a while. “Better than okay. They’re good. Healthy, happy and well-fed,” she told him and he let out a sigh of relief. “All of them,” she added, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. He was about to open his mouth to say something, to ask for more details, but was prevented from doing so by Dr. O’Connell.

“Captain Mikaelson,” he said and Elijah’s gaze snapped over to him. Hayley, too, turned to face the neurosurgeon. “Could you tell me if you feel this?” he asked, his voice thick with his Irish accent and Elijah saw him poke at his foot with something, but he didn’t feel anything

"N- no,” he said, and Hayley let out a small gasp, and it took a second for the word to sink in. Panic shot through him and his breath hitched in his throat as he stared at the neurosurgeon. He squirmed and realized that he could only move his upper body, and he thrashed helplessly, his breaths coming out in pants. “No- oh Gods, please…” he trailed off, gasping and his heart hammered in his chest wildly, a fact which was confirmed by the beeping monitors. His surgical team all erupted with shouts and orders, and Jo Laughlin pulled O’Connell over to her, the two of them whispering and gesturing wildly, but Elijah couldn’t care less. He thrashed and turned his head, craning his neck to see, something, anything other than yellow trauma gowns and surgical instruments though he wasn’t sure what exactly he was looking for. He felt like he was drowning, like he was underwater because he couldn’t hear everything clearly.

And then, Hayley’s voice cut through the chaos and he felt her hand on his shoulder, followed by a jolt of electricity, and his gaze snapped over to hers, his dark brown eyes meeting her hazel ones. Her lips were moving and it took him a few seconds to finally make out what she was saying over the noise in the trauma room. She was saying his name.

“…Elijah, Elijah, listen to me,” she said gently, though there was an insistence in her voice. “Listen to me,” she repeated and he nodded. She fitted the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, and he didn’t object. “Breathe,” she ordered and he complied, inhaling and exhaling raggedly. “Again. Deep breaths, Elijah, or we’ll be forced to intubate you,” she said and he repeated the inhale, exhale. Finally, after doing so a few times, he managed to gain control over his breathing and calmed down. Once he’d calmed down, he removed the mask. “Look, I know you’re scared,” she said softly, “but I saw the scan. And, D- Dr. O’Connell was just about to get to that. The paralysis is most likely temporary because of the shrapnel lodged in your lumbar spine,” she explained and he nodded, letting out a heavy sigh of relief. “They’re going to operate on it and hopefully removing it will get rid of the paralysis,” she added.

“A- and if it doesn’t?” he asked, his voice hoarse, his breath catching in his throat.

“Y- we’ll deal with it,” she said and reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze. “It’s going to be okay,” she added.

“Okay,” he mumbled.

“Okay, Captain Mikaelson,” Dr. O’Connell said gruffly, stepping away from Jo. “We’re going to take you in for a CT scan, for more clear imaging, then to surgery,” he announced. Elijah just nodded.

“C- can I have a moment with Dr. Marshall?” he asked, and Hayley glanced over at him. “Alone?”

The doctors glanced at each other, and both Keelin and Jo glanced over at Hayley, but she nodded.

“Okay, fine. We’ll see you soon,” Jo said and ushered the rest of the doctors out.

Hayley turned to him, “Elijah, what is it?” she asked softly, and he noticed she was biting her lip, a nervous habit.

“I just- I need to tell you something in case I- in case I don’t make it. Three things, actually,” he said, his voice shaking slightly.

“Elijah, don’t even think about it. We’re not doing deathbed confessions right now or anything like that,” she said, shaking her head vehemently.

He reached for her hand, and laced his fingers with her before bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it. “Please,” he said softly, “just- I really need to tell you this. Please, Hayley. I- I appreciate that you’re here with me, but I know that you must be mad at me and I don’t blame you. But, I’m about to go into surgery and I don’t know if I’ll make it. And, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you something,” he pleaded with her and finally after staring at him for several moments, Hayley nodded.

“Okay, fine, but make it quick. The sooner you get to surgery, the better off you’ll be,” she told him.

He took a deep breath, “Hayley, firstly, let me tell you how sorry I am for all the ways that I have hurt you. I am so sorry and I hope you can forgive me,” he said softly and Hayley’s breath caught in her throat, but she didn’t say anything. “The second thin, which should, perhaps, be the first thing is that I love you. I have always loved you and I will never stop,” he continued. Hayley sniffled softly and her hazel eyes shone with tears. “And, thirdly,” he whispered softly, “be happy. That’s all I want for you.”

Hayley didn’t say anything, and his heart sank slightly as she squeezed his hand. And then, she stood up and sighed heavily, looking at him appraisingly before there was a pinging sound and she pulled out her phone.

“I gotta go,” she muttered and turned to go. She stopped just before the door, and turned to face him, “good luck,” she whispered and then she was gone, but Elijah pictured her as the doctors came in took him to CT, then to surgery.

“Count backwards from ten for me,” the anesthesiologist said kindly as he fitted the mask over his mouth and nose. As he inhaled, he felt the drowsiness begin to creep in. 

“ _Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five…_ ” he muttered, his eyes drifting closed. The last thing he saw before the world went black was Hayley’s smiling face.


	3. The Words I Held Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley is under a lot of stress, not made easier by a busy E.R. and some of her colleagues, which results in her taking it out on some of them. Some of them deserve it. Hayley admits something about Elijah and Declan finds out about some of Hayley and Elijah's history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this chapter! I had planned to post this chapter earlier, but I lost a close family member a few days ago and I've been dealing with that and focusing on my family. But, writing can also be really cathartic, so this actually helped! Thanks for understanding!  
> Enjoy!  
> xx

Hayley exited the trauma room in a daze, her heart hammering in her chest, tears prickling at her eyes. The other doctors caught sight of her and tried to call out to her, to talk to her, but she couldn’t hear them. It felt like she was underwater and their voices were distorted as she stumbled away from the trauma room.

“Hey, you okay?” Keelin asked, reaching for her, but Hayley didn’t stop.

“Dr. Marshall, is everything okay?”

“Dr. Marshall?”

“Hales, you okay?”

But, she ignored all of them until finally she was stopped by Declan. Her breath hitched in her throat as he tugged on her arm, but she couldn’t face him.

“Hales, are you okay?” he asked, and she could feel his piercing blue eyes on her, but she refused to meet his gaze.

“I’m fine,” she mumbled under her breath, though she didn’t quite believe her own voice.

“Hales, you cannot possibly be fine!” Declan whisper-yelled, his brow furrowing. “Not after what happened in there. I was there, I saw- look, I’m not an idiot, Hayley,” he sighed. “What happened in there?” he demanded, gripping her arm tightly.

Hayley bristled, “nothing happened in there, Declan,” she muttered. Her pager beeped again. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m being paged,” she added.

“That wasn’t nothing!” he snapped, glaring at her. “I- I saw-” he continued, but she cut him off.

“You didn’t see anything! Not anything that was any of your business anyways!” she yelled, wrenching her arm out of his grasp. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go!” she added in whispered-yell before brushing past him and heading for the nurses’ desk in the E.R.

“ETA 5 minutes out. Two victims, so far,” the nurse reported and Hayley nodded before grabbing a yellow trauma gown and gloves, and walking out to the ambulance bay. Liv Parker and Tyler Lockwood were standing there, bickering. Hayley cleared her throat, and both of them snapped their heads over to her. The ambulance screeched to a halt only a few minutes after Hayley had exited, and another paramedic stepped out. “What do we have?” Hayley asked.

“Brad Jones, 45, MVC victim. He was driving and a truck ran a red light and hit him, and he hit another car. Driver of truck DOA. Victims from second car are behind us,” he reported. “GCS 11, heart rate is 170. He’s hypotensive; systolic – 70, diastolic – 60. Blunt force trauma, multiple crush injuries. Right leg is a mess, dislocated left shoulder, and broken pelvis,” he added as they pulled the gurney out.

“Thanks,” Hayley muttered. “Okay, Parker and Lockwood, take him inside. Check ABCs, run a trauma panel, I’ll take the second victim,” she said to the two residents.

“Let’s go, Lockwood,” Liv said and her, Tyler and the paramedic pushed the gurney inside. The second ambulance screeched to a stop, too, and the doors opened to reveal Davina, her dark, wavy hair pulled into a pony tail, a small boy on a stretcher and a terrified woman Hayley guessed was the boy’s mother.

“Hey, Davina,” Hayley greeted the paramedic. “I didn’t think you’d be working today,” she commented.

“Uh, yeah, I asked Kol if he wanted me to hang around, but he said he’d be working all day, so…” she trailed off with a shrug. “I’ll go check on him, though,” she added.

“Oh,” Hayley nodded. “Right. Oh, well,” she sighed. “What do we have?”

“Seven-year-old Marvin Jones, he was with his mom in the car when they were hit by the other one when that truck hit it. His dad’s actually the other victim,” she informed her. “His ABCs are normal, but he’s got a head lac, dislocated shoulder and possible head injury. GCS of 10,” Davina reported as they unloaded the gurney, and the other paramedic helped the mother out.

“Thanks,” Hayley smiled tightly. “And, the mom?”

“I’m fine,” the woman snapped. “It’s Marvin I’m worried about. And, Brad. Is my husband okay?” she demanded tearfully.

“Okay, ma’am, but we’re still going to check you out to be sure. Your husband is fine, doctors are working on him now. And, we’ll check on Marvin, too,” she said as they began pushing the gurney inside. “Let’s take him to trauma three,” she told Davina, and they rolled the gurney towards trauma 2 where they transferred the kid onto a hospital bed. A nurse and intern followed her. “Okay, I need neuro and peds paged STAT,” she ordered. “Hook him up to monitors and get me a wide-bore IV!”

“Oh God, Marvin! Baby! Mommy is here! Don’t be scared, mommy is here! Is he okay? Is my son okay?” the woman demanded hysterically as Hayley and the doctors tried to work around her.

Hayley sighed, “Mrs. Jones, please calm down. We’re working on Marvin and we’ll make sure he’s okay, but you need to let us work on him, okay?” she said firmly and the woman nodded tearfully.

“IV’s in,” the intern said and Hayley nodded.

“Check ABCs,” Hayley said. “And, get me dopamine,” she added as she grabbed the chart, scanning it. The nurse handed her the syringe and Hayley quickly administered it. “Get me a FAST, too!” she barked just as the door opened.

“What do we have?” Meredith Fell demanded and Hayley groaned internally before reporting the patient. Meredith grabbed her penlight and began the neuro assessment. The trauma doors opened again. This time it was Elena.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” the brunette commented to her.

“Of course I’m here,” Hayley muttered. “FAST is positive,” she informed before reporting on the patient.

“I just thought you’d be-” the peds surgeon started before cutting herself off when Hayley flashed her a glare. “Never mind,” she muttered.

“Let’s take a look at that shoulder, right?” Hayley suggested.

“He’s got a concussion,” Meredith said, “so, admit him for observation and we’ll just monitor him. He should be fine.”

“Oh my baby!” the mother sobbed hysterically, clinging desperately to the child and Hayley sighed before pulling off her gloves and going over to the woman.

“Ma’am, you seriously need to calm down. We’re doing everything we can here to help your son, but you need to let us. So, please let go of him because I need to reset his shoulder, but believe me, he is going to be fine,” she said in a firm, but gentle voice as she slowly coaxed the woman away. “Nurse, please get her out of here and get someone to check her out,” she added softly as she grabbed another set of gloves. “Okay, let’s reset his shoulder, then he’ll be admitted for observation,” she said as the nurse took the mother out of the room. “Elena, a hand?” Elena nodded and the two of them got into position before Hayley pulled his arm, setting the shoulder before wrapping it in a sling.

“We’ll manage the internal bleeding with fluids, but if he’ll need surgery I’ll operate,” Elena said and Hayley nodded.

“Okay, I’m gonna go check on the other victim and make sure Lockwood and Parker don’t kill him,” she said with a huff before removing her gloves and tossing them in the medical waste bin and rushing out of the trauma room.

In the other trauma room, she found Parker and Lockwood working on the patient and she quickly grabbed the chart.

“Parker, update me!” she ordered as she began scanning the chart.

“He’s alert and disoriented,” the blonde resident said, turning to glance at her. “We’ve started a large-bore IV, checked ABCs – no need for intubation, yet. We got films – broken pelvis and right femur plus tibia and left shoulder is dislocated,” she reported.

“Well, thanks. Could’ve told you that just from looking at it,” she muttered.

“Err- right, yeah,” the resident nodded. “We irrigated the femur and tibia and re-packed it, but obviously needs surgery,” she explained. Hayley nodded. “Neuro exam is normal as far as we can tell, uh, pupils are equal and reactive,” she added.

“Have you checked reflexes?” Hayley asked. [It wasn’t lost on her that this patient had injuries very similar to those Katherine sustained the previous year, but she tried not to dwell on that. It wouldn’t do anyone any good].

“Um,” the blonde resident bit her lip and Hayley sighed in exasperation.

“Well, check them out. And, tell Dr. Fell to get in here!” she yelled. “Paged cardio and general yet?” she wondered and both residents shook their heads. Hayley wanted to facepalm. “Well, what the hell are you two waiting for? You’re residents for God’s sake! Do you think you know everything?” The two residents shook their heads. “Of course not! So, you page attendings!” she yelled, then turned to the nurse. “Page Klaus and Kol STAT!” she barked, barely glancing at the chart, but she knew she’d need general and cardio. “Lockwood, run a FAST,” she ordered, and for once, Tyler complied with no complaint.

“Dr. Marshall, reflexes are fine, though Mr. Jones said he feels some tingling in his lower extremities,” Liv informed her and Hayley nodded.

“Well, let’s wait for neuro and a CT scan to tell us more,” Hayley told her just as the doors to the trauma room opened to reveal none other than Klaus.

“Hello, love,” he greeted her, but she ignored him. “What do we have?” he asked as he grabbed a pair of gloves. Hayley reported the case in one breath. Klaus just nodded and approached the patient.

“Lockwood, my least favorite resident!” Klaus exclaimed, turning to Tyler. “Did you do a FAST?” Tyler grumbled something inaudible causing Klaus to add, “did you say something meaningful, Lockwood. Because unless you were saying the result of that FAST, you’re of no use to me,” he growled menacingly.

“Sorry, Dr. Mikaelson,” Tyler said in a strangely mellow tone. “FAST is positive, bleeding in the upper left quadrant,” he said and both Klaus and herself nodded.

“He needs surgery,” Klaus said seriously.

“I need to reset this shoulder,” Hayley said, handing the chart to someone else. “Parker, get over here and help me,” she requested, and the blonde intern did as told. “Brace her.” Liv got into position and Hayley grabbed the arm, “one, two, three,” she counted before pulling it firmly, hearing the popping sound of the shoulder being back in place. The patient writhed and groaned in pain. “One of morphine, please!” she yelled as Klaus tried to steady the patient. Just as the nurse administered the monitor, the monitors started beeping.

“SATS are dropping,” Klaus muttered and Hayley nodded, the chart once again in her hand.

“Parker, do we have chest X-rays?” she asked. The resident shook her head, and Hayley let out another exasperated sigh, “well, what are you waiting for? Get me a chest X-ray now!” she yelled.

Everyone else glanced over at her, but Hayley just shook her head. “Did you page Kol?” she demanded. The nurse nodded. “Page him again, STAT!” she yelled as the monitors continued beeping alarmingly and Hayley scanned them and the room. “We need to intubate now,” she said, jumping into action and going over to the patient, pulling his oxygen mask off. Someone lowered the bed the patient was on so he was flat on his back. “Scope,” Hayley requested, holding her hand out for the instrument. A laryngoscope was placed in it and she quickly inserted it into the patient’s mouth. “Size 8 ET tube,” she ordered once she had visualization. The nurse handed her one and she inserted it, pushing it until it was fully in and the machines stopped beeping briefly. The nurse attached an oxygen bag and began bagging him. But, the monitors were still beeping.

“She’s hypoxic and hypotensive, Hayley,” Klaus muttered and she nodded.

“Blood pressure is dropping – 60 over 50, we need to do something, Dr. Marshall,” Liv said, an anxious edge in her voice.

“She’s tachy, too,” Hayley sighed. “Show me those chest X-rays,” she added, and Parker pointed her to them. It took Hayley only a few seconds of looking at the chest X-rays to figure out what was wrong. “Tension pneumo,” she stated, and turned to the patient. “Scissors,” she requested to cut the patient’s shirt, revealing his bruised torso.

“Hayley, what are you doing?” Klaus wondered, but she didn’t look at him.

“He’s got tension pneumo, I need to decompress,” she explained with a huff as she looked for the right spot for the procedure. “Found it. 6.5 gloves and betadine please,” she requested.

“Hayley, are you sure? Shouldn’t we wait for cardio?” Klaus asked, glancing at her.

“Well, cardio isn’t here when you need it and fluid is building up in this guy’s lungs,” she remarked.

“Hayley, are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked, concern obvious in his voice. “Are you okay to do this?”

“Oh my Gods, Klaus!” she snapped. “Yes, it’s a good idea unless you want this guy to die! I’m fine, I’m good, thank you for your concern!” she added, flashing him a glare. “Someone hand me a 16-gauge needle!”

Just as the nurse handed her the needle, and Hayley got ready to insert it, the doors to the trauma room opened to reveal Kol Mikaelson.

“Bloody hell!” he yelled as Liv reported the case. “Should you even be here?”

Hayley rolled her eyes, “of course I should be here, I’m running the damn E.R. for God’s sakes!” she snapped. She could feel both Kol and Klaus’ eyes on her, filled with concern, and she knew _why_ , but she couldn’t bring herself to dwell on it. She whirled around to face the two, “oh, for the love of God, will the two of you stop looking at me and acting like I’m about to shatter? I’m not a fricken piece of china, I’m a grown ass woman and I am fine! I am working, I’m good, I’m coping, I am _fine_!” she snapped with finality, her voice filled with exasperation.

“Hayley, I-” Klaus started to say something, and Hayley was pretty sure he was about to comment on their earlier confrontation, but she didn’t let him.

“Oh, no! Don’t you start!” she yelled. “Don’t you even start, Klaus! What? You wanna talk some more about how I’m acting? How I’m working when I should be… what, sitting and crying around? And I’m not, so that makes me some heartless monster who doesn’t even care that the father of my children is in surgery? Is that what you wanted to-” she ranted, but was prevented from finishing by the door to the trauma room opening to reveal Meredith Fell.

“What’s going on?” the brunette neurosurgeon asked, and Liv reported the case to her while Klaus and Kol took another long look at her before focusing on the patient again.

“You intubated him?” Meredith asked, glancing between Hayley, Kol and Klaus.

“Um, yes, he couldn’t breathe. Of course we intubated him,” Hayley rolled her eyes. “And, your neuro exam’s gonna have to wait, he’s got tension pneumo, I have to decompress,” she added breathlessly.

“Well, his pupils are equal and reactive, so at least there’s that,” Meredith commented. “I’ll wait to do the rest of the neuro exam.”

But, before Hayley could relieve the tension pneumothorax, there was a loud crash outside the trauma room.

“Damn it! What the hell is going on?” she demanded as yells resounded from outside the trauma room.

“Give it to me, Marshall, I’ll do it,” Kol said, jumping in. “Glove me,” he asked the nurse and after putting his gloves on, he held his hand out for the needle. Hayley hesitated, but Kol continued. “Look, I know you feel guilty and you’re thinking of what happened last Christmas, but this guy’s not her. And, both me and Nik are here, we’ll take care of this one,” he muttered quietly.

“I’m not thinking-” she started to argue, but Kol flashed her a pointed look. “Okay, fine, maybe a little. Fine,” she huffed and handed him the needle before taking off her gloves and rushing out of the trauma room, the door swinging behind her.

Outside, she found the woman from the accident lying on the ground, convulsing, nurses surrounding her, trying to steady her.

“What happened?” Hayley demanded as she crouched over the woman.

“She just collapsed and started seizing,” one of the nurses informed her.

“I need a gurney over here!” Hayley screamed. “Get me 4mg lorazepam!” she ordered as she grabbed her penlight to check the woman’s pupils. “Right pupil’s blown. Shit. Probably a hematoma,” she added breathlessly. A nurse handed her a syringe and Hayley quickly injected it through the IV, and the woman finally stopped jerking. “Get Dr. Fell over here,” she told the nurse sharply before the door to the trauma room she’d just exited opened.

“What happened?” Meredith asked as she came over to join Hayley.

“She started seizing and collapsed. Already administered 4mg of lorazepam and seizures stopped, but right pupil’s blown, she needs surgery,” she reported and Meredith nodded as they loaded her onto the gurney.

“Okay, let’s take her to the O.R.,” she said. “I’ve got this, I’ll take a resident, though. They said they need you in there, though,” she told her and Hayley nodded.

“Yup, got it,” she muttered, nodding at the neurosurgeon, and turned to go back inside the trauma room to help with the other patient, but Meredith stopped her.

“Hey, I heard Elijah got hurt and they brought him here. That he’s in surgery, I was wondering-” Meredith started, but Hayley didn’t let her finish.

“Yeah, that’s true. What’s it mean to you?” she snapped with an exasperated sigh.

“Well, if you need a neurosurgeon-” Meredith started, but Hayley cut her off.

“You’ll be the last one to get called,” she retorted, gritting her teeth. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a patient in there who needs me, and your patient needs surgery,” she said, giving Meredith a pointed look before reentering the trauma room.

After helping Klaus and Kol stabilize Brad, Hayley pulled off her gloves.

“Okay, I need to go express milk for Luke and take it to the daycare before joining you guys in surgery. Can you start without me?” she asked as she pulled off her trauma gown and noticed she’d leaked a little. _Just freaking great_.

“We’ll manage without you,” they told her in unison and she flashed them a tense smile before

* * *

After expressing two bottles for Luke, Hayley brought them to the daycare despite the detour before racing to the O.R. floor and getting ready for surgery. Just as she was on her way to the O.R. to scrub after putting on her surgical booties and leaving her lab coat on the hanger, she bumped into Meredith.

“Are you finished or just heading in?” she asked as she tied the laces of her scrub cap.

“Just heading in. Decided to do a CT in the end,” Meredith explained. “So, about our earlier conversation. Declan O’Connell is operating on Elijah,” she said and Hayley stiffened. She so didn’t want to be having this conversation with Meredith of all people. But, she didn’t say anything, and just hummed in response. “Why didn’t you assign me to Elijah’s surgical team?” Meredith asked after Hayley didn’t say anything.

“Because I didn’t make the surgical team,” Hayley retorted, although that wasn’t entirely true. But, she hoped it would at least get Meredith off her back.

“Well, why didn’t Vincent assign me?”

“No idea,” Hayley shrugged, pushing away her anger and disdain.

“Really?” Meredith quirked a skeptical eyebrow. “I don’t think so. C’mon, Marshall, you and I both know I’m the best. Besides, I somehow doubt it that Vincent assigned O’Connell to Elijah’s surgical team without any input from you!” she exclaimed, giving Hayley a look. Hayley just ignored her and continued walking, but Meredith was clearly not giving up and continued with her rant. “You can’t deny I’m the better surgeon and would’ve been the better choice,” she added.

Hayley whipped around, and tensed. She was so done with this woman. “Why weren't you called, Meredith?” she snapped, and Meredith opened her mouth to interrupt her, but Hayley continued. “Two reasons. One, Elijah told me a long time ago that while you are good at what you do and there is nobody he would trust more when it came to someone he cares about, he would personally never want you touching _him_. Two, even if he didn't tell me that, I still would have put my foot down when Vincent suggested you, because I don't trust you!” she yelled, though there was an edge of emotion in her voice. “I am honestly afraid to let you anywhere near him with a scalpel out of fear that you will make it so he never wakes up or can’t walk again,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. She sighed and lowered her voice, “I may be pissed at him for the way he left, but he's still the father of two of my children and I'm not going to let your prejudices and hatred of him leave them orphaned,” she practically hissed. Meredith just stared at her, obviously shocked by her outburst. “So, I told Vincent to find somebody else, anybody else. Because I would let a first year med student operate on him before I let you do it. He'd have a better chance of survival!” she finished loudly. She could hear murmurs and gasps, but she didn’t care what anyone else said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a surgery to get to,” she added tensely and turned to enter the scrub room, slamming the door behind her.

Klaus and Kol along with Liv and Tyler were already working and Hayley could see that they needed another set of hands. She tied her mask and scrubbed quickly before exiting the scrub room, the nurse helping her put on her surgical gown and gloves.

“Where do you need me?” she asked as the nurse finished tying her surgical gown.

“Leg needs to be stabilized,” Klaus informed her. “You’re the closest to an ortho surgeon available, so get in there,” he told her and she nodded.

“Scalpel,” she requested and the nurse handed her one. “Suction,” she said after a while. “Damn it, I’ve got a bleeder here. Clamp, please,” she continued while Klaus and Kol continued to repair the parts of the body they were concerned with, Liv and Tyler assisting. Kol was dealing with the chest while Klaus was dealing with the internal bleeding. “Saw,” Hayley requested after a while. “More suction.”

“Clamp,” Klaus said after a while.

“Sutures,” Kol ordered.

“Screw,” she barked.

They continued to work like this for a while, the only sound coming when one of them would request an instrument or from the beeping of the monitors. SATS were holding steady, and for that Hayley was grateful. Finally, after a few hours, Kol had dealt with the chest injuries, Klaus had fixed the abdominal bleeding and Hayley had managed to fix the leg, stabilizing the femoral fracture and fixing the tibia. The five surgeons tore off their gowns, gloves and masks and headed for the scrub room.

“Well, that was beautiful,” Kol commented as the three of them filed into the scrub room while the nurses and orderlies took the patient to recovery. “You pulled that leg fix off without a hitch,” he added and Hayley couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks,” she muttered.

“Yeah, that was really great. You’d have made a good ortho surgeon,” Klaus commented. “Elijah would be proud,” he added and Hayley stiffened.

“Klaus, now’s seriously not the time,” she muttered. Liv and Tyler both exited the scrub room, and Kol took another look at the two of them before following after the residents.

“Hayley, can we please talk?” Klaus asked in a gentle tone.

Hayley sighed and leaned against the metal cabinet behind her, “I- fine,” she finally said, letting out another defeated sigh.

“Hayley,” Klaus said slowly, “look, I know you’re pissed at me. Hell, I am pissed at me, too. I was harsh and mean, and I’m sorry for that. But, I- I wasn’t being myself. I was scared and I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I know you care about him, I know you still love him, but I also know that you’re mad at him. And, you have every right to be,” he told her softly. “Being mad at him doesn’t take away the fact that you care about him. I know that. I acted like an arse earlier trying to cover up the fact that I was just scared my brother might die,” he added in a small voice.

Hayley’s expression softened, “I know, Klaus. Maybe I was a bit harsh, too. This stresses me out, you know. And, scares me. It’s really scary… seeing him in that trauma room in so much pain and so hurt… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget it,” she admitted.

Klaus nodded somberly, “yeah, I saw him briefly, too. They thought I might be able to help calm him down, but he just kept asking for you,” he told her.

“Yeah. I- I didn’t really look at his chart, his condition. For once, I couldn’t. All I could focus was him. It was like-” she paused and sniffled, “it was like it didn’t matter anymore. All the pain and hurt he caused by leaving me… none of it mattered. He was in pain, scared… I couldn’t do anything but talk to him and hold his hand,” she confessed and Klaus just nodded.

“He’s going to be okay, Hayley,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “He has to be. He’s got too much waiting for him here. He’s got something worth fighting for, he’s got to make it,” he said firmly, his voice filled with conviction, although there was an emotional quality to it, too. “Besides, you need to yell at him and he owes you an explanation,” he added with a chuckle and Hayley snorted.

“Yeah…” she sighed. “You know this patient was really similar to Katherine. And, this entire time I couldn’t help but wonder if there were enough surgeons, if we were more prepared when Katherine came in, if we knew she was on heparin… we could’ve saved her, Klaus,” she confessed and bit her lip.

“Oh, Hayley,” Klaus said gently, “you can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened to Katherine. You know there was a lot involved there. Besides, she’d have died anyways,” he told her and she nodded. “Not that it makes it right, but you know. What happened to Katherine wasn’t your fault,” he told her firmly, though his voice was gentle.

“Yeah? So, why did Elijah leave?” she bit, unable to keep the anger and hurt from her voice.

Klaus sighed heavily, “I don’t know. But, I do know that it wasn’t your fault. You do have a right to an explanation, and while this isn’t an ideal situation, maybe you’ll at least get some answers now that Elijah is here,” he told her with a tense smile. She just nodded.

“Thanks,” she muttered. “Anyways, I should get going she added, moving in the direction of the door.

“Yeah, me too,” Klaus said as he followed her out of the scrub room, the two of them heading together to get their lab coats before going to inform family. Then, Klaus went to do another consult while Hayley went back to the E.R.

* * *

The E.R. was abuzz with patients, nurses and other doctors and after dealing with a few things, Hayley snuck outside, needing a few moments of peace and quiet as the morning’s events finally caught up to her. She leaned against the building’s wall and let out a heavy sigh, closing her eyes briefly.

“Hayley? Hey!”

The brunette looked up to find none other than Cami standing in front of her, two cups of coffee in her hand, wearing a turtleneck sweater and skirt under her lab coat.

“Hey, Cami,” she greeted her friend weakly, and sniffled. Cami looked concerned and walked over to her, handing her the other cup of coffee.

“Was going to take it to Klaus, but you look like you need it more,” she said by way of explanation.

“Thanks,” Hayley mumbled as she took a sip, letting out another sigh as Cami leaned slightly against the wall beside Hayley.

“So,” the blonde started, “what’s up? How are you doing?”

“I’m just tired,” Hayley brushed her off and took another sip of the hot liquid. “I’m fine, honestly, Cami,” she said, but even she didn’t believe her own voice. Neither did Cami for that matter.

“Really? Cause you look like shit, and it’s not the ‘just had a crazy morning’ kind,” Cami quipped, giving her a sideways glance. “I know Elijah’s in surgery,” Cami said when Hayley didn’t respond, and at that Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat. “Oh. So, this has to do with Elijah,” the blonde observed like she’d just realized the obvious diagnosis that had been staring her in the face all along. “Of course,” she muttered.

“I-” Hayley paused and took a deep breath, then released it before continuing, “I _missed_ him, Cami,” she finally said, emphasizing the word ‘missed’. “Gods, I missed him so much and I didn’t even- I didn’t even realize it. Not until I was in that trauma room and staring into his eyes. I- I have spent so much time this past year being angry at him, pissed off even. So much time blaming him for… _everything_ ,” she sniffled. “And, maybe that was me pushing away how much I missed him, how much he had hurt me…” she added, trailing off. Cami just nodded sagely. “And, the fact that I still love him,” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Cami turned at that, her gaze snapping over to hers, but her eyes were soft, “and, now he’s back and in life-threatening surgery and all those feelings have rushed to the surface?” Hayley just nodded. “And, part of you is also scared you might lose him, I assume?”

“Yup, spot on, Cami,” Hayley quipped, popping the ‘p’ and the blonde chuckled. “I- I was in that trauma room, and while I didn’t _look_ and I don’t know the extent of his injuries and how bad it is, I do know that- it’s _not good_ , Cami. It’s _not good_. And, I’m scared. Of course I’m scared. He’s the father of two of my children, Hope’s uncle-” she paused, shaking her head. 

“And, the man you loved?” Cami supplied.

“Yeah. So, I’m scared. Scratch that, I’m terrified,” she sniffled again and took another sip of her coffee. “And, the worst part is that I didn’t say it back,” she added after a while, her voice dropping to a barely audible whisper.

“What?” Cami asked, having obviously caught it. “What didn’t you say back?”

“That I love him,” Hayley admitted. “He- before they took him into surgery he said three things to me. In case he- y’know…” she trailed off, refusing to say the word, but Cami knew and she just nodded. “He told me he’s sorry, that he wants me to be happy, and that he l- loves me. Not in that order, though. And, I-” she cut herself off and shook her head again before taking another sip of coffee.

“And, you didn’t say it back. And, now you’re scared you’ll never get the chance,” Cami said, understanding what Hayley wasn’t saying.

“Yeah…” she sighed.

“Oh, honey,” Cami murmured, reaching to rub her shoulder. “Look, I know you’re scared, but I think- I think Elijah knows how you feel about him,” she said after a while.

Hayley shook her head, “no, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know that I _still_ love him. He doesn’t. I saw it in his eyes. He expected me to say something, anything, and all I said was ‘good luck’. Who does that? Who says that? I should’ve said it. I should’ve said that I loved him, too,” she rambled, and chewed on her lip.

“Would you have meant it, though? Or, would you have said it for his benefit?” Cami wondered and Hayley couldn’t help but look over at her. “I mean, you’re saying you still love him, now. But, earlier, something was holding you back. And, maybe it’s better that you didn’t say it because you wouldn’t have meant it,” she said and Hayley couldn’t help but wonder if her friend’s observation could be true. “Not saying that you don’t care about him at all, we both know that you do, and so does Elijah, but in that moment you didn’t know you still loved him. You were overwhelmed by your own very valid feelings. And, if you had told him that you love him back, would you have meant it?”

Hayley shrugged, but didn’t say anything for a while and just took the last few sips of her coffee before throwing the cup away. “I don’t know,” she finally said when she returned to Cami’s side. “I honestly don’t know. But, I- I do still love him. And, I want- I don’t even know what I want…” she shook her head and Cami snorted.

“Glad this amuses you,” Hayley remarked sarcastically.

Cami just chuckled, “sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to- sorry,” she said. “But, just so you know, it’s okay not to know what you want. Don’t work yourself up over it so much. Just- say it when you feel you’re ready,” she advised her, squeezing her shoulder lightly.

“I just hope I’m not too late,” she mumbled. Cami nodded.

“Anyways, I gotta head back inside. I’ll see you later, okay?” the blonde told her and Hayley nodded.

“Yeah, see you,” she said softly, flashing Cami a small smile before heading inside, too.

* * *

Hayley wasn’t entirely sure how exactly she found out Elijah was out of surgery, alive, and well… not entirely well, but he was alive with all limbs and internal organs relatively intact, so that was a relief. But, she couldn’t exactly recall how she had found out, where she had been, or anything specific aside from the three magic words, _he is alive_ that made her heart hammer wildly in her chest before relief coursed through her.

What she did know, though, was that somehow she made it to the ICU where Elijah had just been brought in. For several seconds she just stood outside the door, looking in through the glass.

Finally, she took a deep breath, and pulled the ICU sliding door open before slipping inside Elijah’s room, and her breath hitched in her throat as she took him in. He was covered in tubes and wires, though thankfully they’d extubated him so now he was breathing through a nasal cannula, and his leg was in a cast and elevated. The only sound in the room came from the monitors, indicating the steady beeping of his heart and his breathing, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. He looked peaceful, like he was asleep, but the small cuts on his face, the fact that his leg was in a cast, the fact that his head was wrapped in a bandage, and the tubes and wires surrounding him were a clear sign that he was far from okay. _He was lying in a hospital bed for God’s sake._

Her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped audibly as she took him in, “oh my Gods, Elijah…” she whispered, trailing off. Her eyes filled with tears as they drifted over him, and all she wanted was for him to wake up, but Elijah remained still and motionless. Slowly, she made her way to his bed and sat down, taking his hand in hers, and brought it to her lips, pressing a small kiss to his knuckles. “Baby…” she choked back a sob as she held his hand, rubbing his bruised and battered knuckles slowly. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. Why she was apologizing, she didn’t know, but still the words fell from her lips. “I’m so sorry you’re hurt,” she whispered. “I- I hope you wake up soon, Elijah,” she muttered. “I need you to wake up soon. I _need_ you to wake up, Elijah,” she sighed. “I- I spent so much time being angry at you, I think I kind of deserve to let it out. And, I need you to be awake for that,” she half-chuckled, half- sobbed. “You need to know how much you hurt me. Because you did. You hurt me, Elijah,” she said, but there was no response from the man lying in front of her. “But, I still love you,” she finally admitted. There it was. The real, heartbreaking truth. “There, I said it. I still love you. I should’ve said it before, but I was too busy being angry at you. But, I guess, better late than never, right?” she snorted. “I still love you, Elijah. I always have loved you, and I don’t think I could stop loving you. And, trust me, over the past year part of me wanted to. Would’ve made my life easier. Made it hurt less. But, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t stop- I couldn’t… you’re in me, Elijah. You consume me. Or, well, my love for you consumes me, and I know it makes me really stupid to let it, but I can’t stop. I can’t stop loving you as stupid as it makes me,” she admitted, but there was no response. Not that she expected it, and maybe that was why she snuck into his ICU room so soon after his surgery while he wasn’t yet awake. She sniffled again, and wiped a few stray tears away hastily before taking a deep breath and releasing it. And then, she sat there and watched the heart monitor, the steady rise and fall of his chest, letting the beeping of the monitors be the only sound in the room.

Finally, after several long minutes, she stood up, letting go of his hand, but didn’t move away from the bed. Instead, she leaned forward, tempted to kiss his cheek or his forehead, but she hesitated and instead brought her index and middle finger to her lips and kissed them before bringing them to Elijah’s lips, pressing her fingers against his lips.

“I love you, Elijah. I still love you. And, I wasn’t lying before,” she whispered as a tear spilled down her cheek, “I was happy with you. It wasn’t a dream, Elijah. We were happy. Or, at least I thought so. Maybe that makes me a fool. Maybe loving you makes me an idiot,” she chuckled bitterly. And then, she pulled away and stepped back, turning around to leave. As she exited the room, she wiped her cheeks, and glanced once again at Elijah before shutting the door. But, when she looked up as she stepped away from Elijah’s ICU room, she came face to face with Declan. Shit.

“Declan,” she breathed out.

“Hello, Hayley,” he said, flashing her a tense smile. “Didn’t expect to see you here. What are you doing?” he asked, his Irish accent thick.

“I was just…” she trailed off, shrugging, words failing her.

“Visiting Elijah Mikaelson,” he said. It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“What is going on, Hayley? Who is he to you?” he demanded in a hushed, yet insistent voice, and she could hear a hint of anger, too.

“Declan, I-” she stopped herself. She didn’t know how to answer that question. “I don’t think now… here is the best time and place,” she said softly.

The neurosurgeon frowned, “than when is the best time, Hales?” he quipped, his tone harsh. “Because I have questions. And, I think I deserve answers. Especially. After what happened in that trauma room,” he said and Hayley gritted her teeth. Declan’s expression softened, “I was there, Hayley, you can’t tell me I didn’t see anything. And, you disappeared as soon as Jo informed you and the Mikaelsons that Captain Mikaelson’s surgery was over,” he said, giving her a pointed look. Hayley wanted to laugh at him calling Elijah ‘Captain Mikaelson’, but didn’t. Declan would probably find it strange. “And, now I find you here.”

“Well, is it a crime?” she quipped, furrowing her brows. “Because last I checked, I’m a doctor here, so I’m allowed in the ICU,” she added.

“Yeah, but you’re not visiting a patient of yours, but a man who- you’re not his wife, Hayley,” Declan argued. “Yet, everyone pretty much treats you as such.”

Hayley sighed in exasperation and shook her head, “what do you want from me, Declan?” she snapped in a low hiss. “What’s with the twenty questions? I didn’t know an interrogation was part of the deal, here,” she remarked. And then, she brushed past him and walked off.

* * *

Eventually, Hayley made her way to the O.R.s, but this time she didn’t go into the O.R. for a surgery, but the O.R. gallery. Specifically, the O.R. 4 gallery, the same gallery her and Elijah officially became a couple in. It was thankfully empty, and there was no one in O.R. 4 below her, so Hayley sank into one of the plastic chairs and let out a heavy sigh. She dropped her chin into her hands and sat there, looking down at the pristine O.R., her mind drifting away to a certain someone.

After a while, the door to the gallery opened, and Hayley turned only to find Declan standing there, peering at her shyly.

“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice gentle. She nodded, gesturing for him to join her, and he walked in, sitting down beside her. “I’m sorry,” he finally said after a while. Hayley turned to him, her eyes wide with surprise.

“Why?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“For being so harsh earlier. I was a bit of a dick. And, I’m sorry,” he said, his lips curling into a tense smile.

“Thanks,” she muttered. “I’m sorry, too. I just- I didn’t know what to say to you,” she admitted and he nodded.

“That’s- that’s understandable, Hayley. And, I shouldn’t have been so insistent. I’m sorry,” he said.

She reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his, “it’s all good,” she said softly.

Silence descended between them after that, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. On the contrary, it was kind of nice, Hayley had to admit. It was Declan who broke it.

“So, I’m guessing that Elijah is Luke's father?” he finally asked and Hayley’s gaze snapped over to his.

“How...” she trailed off, unable to form words.

“I'm not stupid, Hayley,” he replied. “A guy with the same last name as your son is brought in. His name is obviously not a coincidence, since they were very careful not to have any Mikaelsons on his surgical team. To the point that the Chief of Surgery himself operated on him. I’m guessing because Klaus couldn’t.” As Declan talked, his words made sense, but Hayley didn’t say anything. “And then that guy starts frantically calling for you. We had every single Mikaelson in that exam room, it took _you_ to calm him down,” he said, looking at her pointedly. “Wasn’t exactly a leap,” he said, his expression softening. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally asked in a soft voice.

Hayley sighed heavily. Declan was right. He wasn’t some stranger she could ignore. She owed him an explanation, at the very least. “Because I didn't want you going into that operating room mad at him for hurting me,” she finally said, and here it was his turn to be surprised. “I didn't think you would ever intentionally do something to him, but I needed your mind to be 100 percent on your patient,” she added.

“Why- what do you mean he hurt you? I swear if-” he started, but she cut him off. 

“He didn’t hurt me physically. That was my first husband, Jackson,” she told him and he nodded. [She had told him about Jackson at some point, so he knew about that fiasco]. “Elijah… after Jackson I was broken, I didn’t know if I was capable of love, or being loved. And, Elijah made me think I was. He showed me what real love was supposed to be like. Or, at least that’s what I thought until…” she paused and looked down, “until he left me and broke my heart. It was last year, around this time. I told you about Nadia’s mom, right? How she died after Christmas. Well, what I didn’t tell you was that Elijah is Nadia’s father. Him and Katherine used to be married, but got divorced about four years ago, I think. But, Elijah didn’t know about Nadia. It’s a long story. Anyways, long story short, last year after Katherine died, Elijah started acting… different. He became sort of cold. I thought it was grief at first, though him and Katherine were long over. But, what do I know?” she shook her head. “Anyways. To make matters more complicated, I also found out I was pregnant,” she added and Declan’s eyebrows shot up.

“Luke,” he muttered, nodding.

“Yeah. I thought- stupidly, naively I thought that me being pregnant would help Elijah, that it would bring him back to himself. But, that was the final nail in the coffin that was our relationship,” she confessed. “The night I told him I was pregnant, he told me he was leaving to go back to the army,” she added, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Shit,” was all Declan said.

“Yeah…” she sighed.

“Hayley, I’m so sorry. That’s- that sucks,” he said and she nodded.

“Yeah, it does. And, now he’s back and I don’t know what it means. I really don’t. Because, yes, I still love him, but I also don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive him for abandoning me, Luke and Nadia.

“Yeah,” Declan sighed and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, pressing his lips to her hair. Hayley let him, letting herself be comforted by him.

After a while, she finally pulled away and stood up.

“I should, uh, I should go. I need to get Luke from daycare and go home,” she told him. Declan just nodded, and together they left the gallery.

* * *

After picking up Luke, Hayley put him in his infant car seat and drove home, getting there just in time for bedtime. Since, she’d given Luke a bath not that long ago, she just nursed him, changed him, and rocked him to sleep, humming softly to the five-month-old while stroking his hair.

“He’s back, Luke,” she whispered after a while, though the baby probably didn’t understand what she was saying. “Your dad. He’s back,” she whispered and Luke just whimpered in response. “I don’t know how I feel, bud. I don’t know how I feel about him meeting you. That can wait, though. I know, I know. Mommy’s going to protect you for as long as possible,” she murmured. “But, he’s not a bad guy, Luke. He’s really not. He’s not the boogie man or anything. He’s just… I don’t know, Luke. I don’t know why he left us… I really don’t. But, he’s not a bad guy, I know that much. He’s a good man who simply broke my heart.” Lucas cooed as he played with her breast and squirmed slightly. “You look like him, did you know that?” Lucas simply whimpered. “Yeah, you do. You have the same eyes. Exactly the same eyes. And, nose, too, I think. Your hair is curly though, but it’s dark, like his,” she observed as she stroked her baby’s head lightly. “I wish he met you, Lucas. But, he left us, so I don’t trust him. Not anymore,” she commented, though the baby continued to ignore her. Shocker. Lucas fussed a little more before falling asleep against her chest and Hayley rocked him in the chair for a few more minutes before carrying him back to her bedroom and putting him in his crib. She lingered for a few more seconds to make sure he was asleep before grabbing the baby monitor and going downstairs to eat something and maybe have a glass of wine. Just then, the doorbell rang and she rushed to open it.

None other than Rebekah Mikaelson stood on the other side, a bottle of wine in her hand.

“Hello, love,” the blonde greeted her with a wide smile.

“Um, Rebekah, hey…” Hayley said by way of greeting as she pulled the door open a little wider, ushering Rebekah in. The two of them exchanged a hug and cheek kisses before Rebekah took off her coat and shoes and Hayley closed the door behind her. “So,” she started, “what brings you here?”

The two of them walked to the kitchen and opened Rebekah’s bottle of wine, pouring a generous amount into two tall glasses. [She’d either pump and dump or she could express a bottle or two now]. 

“Well,” Rebekah drawled, “my idiot brother who ran off to play G.I. Joe is now back, and just underwent surgery. I got promoted to junior partner not that long ago, but didn’t have any time to celebrate. My hormones are out of whack, making me act like some crazy lady,” Rebekah rattled off, as if she was counting on her fingers. “Oh, and I slept with Marcel,” she added, and if Hayley had been drinking she’d have spit out her wine. Instead, she stared at Rebekah, holding her glass of wine, shock all over her face. She set the wineglass down and turned to Rebekah.

“You did what?”

“I had sex with Marcel Gerard. My ex-boyfriend as of a little more than a month. Yup. Classic me,” Rebekah said and took a sip. Hayley just shook her head before taking her own sip.


	4. So You Could Sit There in This Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rebekah tells Hayley how she and Marcel met, revealing more about their past. Nadia tells someone about Elijah, and comes home to find out what happened to him. Elijah wakes up from his surgery, and while he slowly starts healing, his less visible scars continue to hurt.

After Rebekah’s initial statement, Hayley paused her drinking to express two bottles of milk for Luke, storing them in the fridge before she turned to the blonde and took another sip of her wine. Rebekah did, too, and for a few minutes neither of them said anything. But, the curiosity was killing her, so Hayley decided to break the silence.

“Okay, Bekah, now spill,” she said as she took another sip, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Rebekah took a sip of wine and hesitated, looking down before she finally look at Hayley, her blue eyes meeting hers. “I told you, I had sex with Marcel,” she said, shrugging.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “you said that, Bex. I mean, what happened? How did it happened? How often did it happen?” she asked, firing questions at the blonde.

Rebekah chuckled, “are you deposing me, Dr. Marshall?” she quipped, amused. Hayley snorted, and this time it was Rebekah who rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine. What do you want to know?”

Hayley grinned as she took a sip of wine, “anything, really. Anything to keep my mind off…” she trailed off and shook her head. “Never mind. Just tell me about you and Marcel. I hardly know anything about you guys,” she pointed out.

“Well, to answer your first three questions, it happened the night before Elijah got here. They told me I made partner right before Vincent called and told me to get to the hospital. After we found out about the whole Elijah situation, I wasn’t really in the mood to party. But, my coworkers insisted on drinks, so we went. I abandoned them at some point and ran into Marcel. We talked for a bit. He already knew about Elijah, Nik probably told him. Or, Josh. I don’t know, and I don’t care. But, he bought me a drink. Then, my coworkers left, but ever-so-helpfully informed him about my promotion, which gave Marcel an excuse to buy me another drink. Then, I bought him another. We got quite drunk and kissed. And, took the kissing further, and almost got kicked out so we called a cab and ended up at my place. We had lots of sex there, then Marcel sort of crashed there. But, we didn’t talk about it or anything. Typical of us, it’s ridiculous, really,” she said, shaking her head and took another sip.

“How so?” Hayley wondered, peering at the blonde over the rim of her glass.

“Well, that’s how we started,” Rebekah explained. “We met when I was around 8, I think. Marcel was Klaus’ best friend when they were kids. They met at school, and both of them with complicated relationships with their fathers, they hit it off. With Marcel an ‘only child’ so to speak, Nik sort of brought him into the Mikaelson fold, although our parents weren’t very pleased, but oh well. I had a major crush on him, even then. But, he hardly paid me any mind. I was his best friend’s little sister,” she laughed in amusement. “I mean, we hung out sometimes,” she paused and took another sip, “when I forced the boys to let me play with them. He was actually my first kiss, too. Classic spin-the-bottle situation. I was 12 and he was 16 and Nik, Kol and Elijah were absolutely dreadful about it, but Marcel gave me a little peck on the lips. It was kind of sweet and only made my crush harder to shake. I was a lovesick teenager for a few years until I understood that it would get me nowhere. He was four years older than me and my brother’s best friend. Meaning, unavailable. So, I went out with other boys, boys I gave my virginity to, went to school and it felt like I’d gotten Marcel out of my system,” she said, and let out a heavy sigh.

“But, you didn’t?” Hayley muttered, her expression filled with understanding. It wasn’t really a question, though, but a statement.

“Nope. Everything changed summer after my first year of uni. I came back from England while Elijah was with Katherine travelling and Nik was doing God knows what. I ran into Marcel, who was home from med school, too, and we both got invited to this party. We got drunk, ended up sleeping together, and then we started sort of doing it regularly. It was a summer fling, nothing serious, and I didn’t mind that it was just sex. As a matter of fact, I kept insisting on it,” the blonde recounted and took another sip of her wine while Hayley started cutting some cheese to go with it.

“Did Klaus know?” Hayley wondered curiously, and as a way to keep Rebekah talking, which provided a very much welcome distraction.

Rebekah shook her head, “God no. Back then, Nik was crazy protective of me when it came to boys. Which was funny because Elijah was the older brother, but it was Nik who was the most protective. Well, I suppose they were all older than me, I was the baby of the family until Henrik,” she chuckled lightly. “But, you know, since Finn was sort of absent, off at college and whatnot, Elijah was basically the eldest. Kol didn’t care. So, Nik was insanely protective which meant that he absolutely could not find out about me and Marcel having a summer fling. And, he didn’t,” she said. “Not until Christmas, that is,” she added with a cheeky grin.

“Oh? And, how did that happen?” Hayley wondered, taking another sip of her wine, finishing it, before refilling both her and Rebekah’s glass.

“Well, we all came back for Christmas, our parents were insufferable as per usual, so Nik suggested we go to a party. Marcel came along,” Rebekah explained. “I tried avoiding him. I really did. But, I- we all got pretty drunk. My brothers were all doing Lord knows what. And, Marcel suggested we get drinks,” a small smile seemed to tug at her lips. “Well, you can imagine how that went. Except, this time, as we tried to sneak out while making out, Nik found us. And, well,” she paused, “he acted like Nik. He went ballistic. Thank God for Elijah and Kol, or Marcel might not be here,” she stated and Hayley snorted. “I hardly think this is funny, Hayley,” she remarked, scandalized.

“I’m sorry, Bex, but you have to admit, it is kind of funny,” she said, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rebekah muttered, waving her off. “Very funny. But, yeah, Nik wasn’t happy to see Marcel and I making out like teenagers. And, when we came clean to him the next day, he was even more pissed off. Nearly murdered Marcel again,” she told her, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

“So, when did he come around to you and Marcel?” Hayley asked, peering over the rim of her wineglass at the blonde.

“Well, it took a while. Marcel and I got together after Nik got pissed at us. I don’t know why, really. Maybe because it bothered Nik so much,” she chuckled. “It was still mainly sex, but it was slowly becoming more. But, we broke up while I was back at uni. Then, got back together that summer, and Nik finally, begrudgingly, allowed it. I mean, it still sort of bothered him, but he kept quiet about it. Marcel and I stayed together through the end of my university, but broke up after because I wasn’t sure where I wanted to pass the bar. But, we got back together after I passed the bar,” she said, and Hayley nodded. “And, then, well, you were there the last time we broke up,” she added.

“Yeah. Do you want to get back together with him?” she wondered, taking another sip of her wine as she and Rebekah sat down at her kitchen island.

Rebekah took a sip of her own wine and sighed heavily, “I don’t know. I mean, I love him. Of course I do,” she paused.

“But?”

“But, it’s complicated. I want-” she paused again, took another sip, “I want children, Hayley. And, well, obviously that’s becoming problematic. I’ve had three miscarriages already, and that’s not really encouraging me. It’s draining to keep getting pregnant without really meaning to, and losing them all,” she sighed, her expression becoming sad, and Hayley was instantly reminded of how hard things had been for Bekah. “And, Marcel had been really good and supportive about it. It just got too much. I didn’t want him trapped with me while I fester in my misery,” she said and sniffled. Hayley immediately reached to rub her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Rebekah,” she said softly.

“Thanks. We needed a break, I think. But, it’s become habit, at this point. It’s like we just gravitate towards each other, sometimes. That’s why I’ve been avoiding him so much. I feel like if I see him, all my anger will leave me and we’ll be back in bed, like we always end up,” she sighed and took another sip of her wine.

“Yeah,” Hayley sighed, running a hand through her hair. “But, you can’t keep avoiding him forever, Bex,” she added.

“I know.” Rebekah put her head in her hands, “oh, how could I have been so stupid? Sleeping with Marcel. Again!” she whined and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle, amused, as she rubbed the other woman’s back.

“Shh,” she muttered, “it’s going to be okay. Maybe you just needed to get it out of your system” she said.

“Mhm,” the blonde sighed self-deprecatingly before taking another sip, finishing her glass. Hayley poured both of them another, and wondered if this was their third or fourth glass. She took a sip, deciding she didn’t actually care. “Did you see him?” Rebekah asked after a while, and Hayley froze before snapping her gaze over to the blonde. They both knew who Rebekah was referring to.

Hayley’s shoulders slumped, and she took yet another sip, briefly wishing she was drinking something stronger, before she finally spoke. “Yeah,” she admitted, her voice hollow.

Rebekah immediately looked concerned and apprehensive at the same time, “how-” she cut herself off, paused and took another sip, “how is he?”

“He’s,” Hayley, too, paused, but mostly because she didn’t know how to answer that, then finally settled on, “he’s okay, I think. He seemed okay, at least, when I snuck in to see him.”

“Aww,” Rebekah cooed, taking another sip of wine.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “it wasn’t that romantic. I just- I needed to see him. Alone,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair again. “I needed a moment with him.”

“Ahh, I see,” Rebekah nodded. “I didn’t manage to do it before ICU visiting hours were over, so…” she trailed off, took another sip. The wine was finishing at an alarming rate, but neither of them really cared. “I suppose I’ll pay him a visit tomorrow,” she said in a steady, sure tone. “Get an update from his surgical team,” she mused. Hayley just nodded.

“More wine?” she asked when she noticed both of their glasses empty. Rebekah nodded, and Hayley poured her a glass before noticing that there was no more left in the bottle. “Hmph,” she huffed. “I’ll go get some more,” she said, and stood up, wobbling slightly on her legs. At that moment, the front door opened, and Nadia entered the house.

* * *

It was late by the time Roman pulled into the driveway, and Nadia spotted two cars parked. One was Hayley’s gray BMW, and the other was her aunt Rebekah’s red convertible.

“Think your adoptive mom will be pissed you’re home this late?” Roman asked, glancing over at her, his blue eyes shining.

“Doubt it. Or, at least, she won’t yell at me with Aunt Bekah here,” she told him, but he continued to look at her with a concerned expression. “Do not worry,” she told him, seriously, rolling her eyes. “She won’t kill me, or anything,” she sighed. “Hayley’s cool.”

“Well, for both of our sakes, I hope so,” Roman finally drawled, a devilish smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “I like hanging out with you,” he added, smiling softly at her, his blue eyes fixed on her face. She unbuckled her seatbelt and scooted closer.

Her expressions softened, and she smiled, “I like hanging out with you, too,” she whispered. Roman cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. “We should do it more often,” she sighed breathlessly.

“We should,” he grinned.

“Yeah…” she sighed. Roman leaned forward and kissed her, and she kissed him back, hands sinking in his golden curls, tugging on them lightly as he wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her closer, almost across the console. She laughed as they pulled away before clambering over the console and onto his lap. Roman rested his hands on her back, rubbing circles on her lower back and she sighed in pleasure. “That feels nice,” she murmured and he smiled, pleased. “You know how my back aches sometimes after dance class,” she added.

“I do,” he nodded, grinning mischievously. “Know what else will make you feel better?”

“What?” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper as she rubbed her nose against his.

Roman didn’t answer her in words, but in action, and kissed her. It was a deep sort of kiss, passionate and urgent, unlike before. [They’d only been ‘hanging out’ for a few weeks now, just messing around behind bleachers after school, after dance class, in his car. Nothing serious, and certainly nothing had happened, but Nadia was pretty sure they were headed that way. She’d heard girls at school whisper about it, about losing the V-card to some idiot on the football team, and if she had to lose it to anyone, losing it to Roman wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He was considered a bit of a bad boy, but he was nice enough, and it wasn’t like she’d _just_ met him]. She reciprocated him, kissed him back with as much (clumsy) fervor as she could muster, moved her hands all over his body, fitting them under his t-shirt, then back up to his hair, ground her hips rhythmically with his, feeling herself get hotter and hotter between her legs. _Was it supposed to feel like this?_ She didn’t know, and as much as part of her wanted this, she couldn’t, right now.

She froze, and pulled away from him, a little roughly, hands going to rest on his shoulder to keep him from moving.

Roman stared at her, blue eyes wide, “wh- what’s wrong?” he asked, panting slightly. “Nadi, what is it? What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, “nothing,” she mumbled. “I should go,” she said, and moved to get out, but his hands on her waist prevented her.

“It’s not nothing. I can see it’s not nothing. Nadi, whatever it is, you can tell me,” he whispered, voice soft and gentle, but with a firm, urgent undertone. “Tell me, Nadi, what is it?”

She cracked at that, and her eyes blurred with tears, but Roman didn’t say anything, just stared patiently at her. “It’s my father,” she finally said, and sniffled.

“Your father? I thought he wasn’t in the picture. I know your mother died, and Hayley adopted you,” he said, no hint of accusation or anything in his tone, just stating facts.

“He- I only met him last year,” she finally said. “He wasn’t in the picture when I was growing up, though that wasn’t his fault. That was my mother, she didn’t tell him I existed. But, when she brought me here, I overheard her and my aunt talking about him, then I googled him and found out where he was working. When my mother brought me there because she was meeting my aunt, I went to look for him. Long story short, after he finally found out the truth and knew for sure I was his daughter, we actually started getting along. He was nice to me, always willing to spend time with me, bought me some things, invited me over for dinner,” she told him. She’d never told anyone about Elijah, but now that she was talking it seemed like she couldn’t stop. She wasn’t even crying, though her eyes burned with unshed tears. Roman just sat there, patiently, continuing to rub her back gently. “He was a good father, as far as I knew. He and my mother used to be married, you know, and had a son. Jonathan. But, he died in a car crash four years ago. My parents got a divorce, and mother came back to Bulgaria. To me,” she continued, and he nodded, knowing this little tidbit about her. [That she’d only met her mother when she was about twelve or thirteen]. “Anyways, last year, after my mother died, Elijah…” she paused, not knowing what to say, “I don’t really know the reason. He just left. Hayley told him she was pregnant, and he left,” she told him, and sniffled again.

“Oh God,” Roman sighed. “Nadi, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, and reached to wipe the tears that had spilled over her cheeks. “He abandoned you?”

“Yes,” she sniffled, choking on a sob. “He went to the army. And, now he’s back. Apparently, he got hurt in an explosion so they brought him back. He was in surgery today,” she told him, her voice trembling with emotion.

“Oh, Nadi,” Roman shook his head. “C’mere,” he muttered, pulling her closer. She hugged him willingly, pressing her face in the crook of his neck, and let him hold her as she cried.

Finally, after several long seconds, maybe minutes, she stopped crying and pulled away.

“I should, uh,” she sniffled again, “I should really go inside. Find out wh- what happened,” she told him. Roman just nodded, and waited patiently as she scrubbed at her face a little before he opened the door for her. She got out, then went to the trunk and grabbed her bags. He got out, too, and they hugged briefly before he released her.

“You gonna be okay?” he asked her, obviously concerned.

She nodded determinedly, “yeah… yes, I’ll be fine,” she said, her Bulgarian accent slipping slightly. She sniffled again, “thanks for the ride and for listening.”

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I hope so. I’ll text you,” she told him and he nodded.

After one last, longing look, she walked to the house, unlocked the door and entered, finding Hayley and Rebekah in the living room, empty wine glasses and a bottle of red wine on the coffee table.

She stared at her aunt and adoptive mother for a minute, afraid to ask what was going on. [Elijah was probably out of surgery, one way or the other. As much as Hayley tried to tell herself and everyone else that she didn’t care anymore, she wouldn’t have left the hospital before finding out if he was going to make it]. She swallowed hard and then finally forced herself to ask the question she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to. “So, are you celebrating, or grieving?”

Both women stared at her with matching expressions of shock and confusion before glancing at each other.

“Err…” Hayley tried, but she seemed to be struggling to form words.

Her aunt seemed just as confused and cleared her throat awkwardly, her blue eyes darting between Hayley and Nadia herself. 

Finally, her adoptive mother spoke, “Nadia, you’re, uh, you’re home,” she said.

“Obviously,” she quipped. Hayley just nodded while Rebekah licked her lips. “So?” she demanded impatiently.

“Oh, Hayley for goodness’ sake, put the poor girl out of her misery!” her aunt snapped when no one said anything for a few seconds.

Hayley blinked, as if she was finally awakened from some sort of daze, her eyes focusing on Nadia.

“He made it,” she finally said and Nadia felt relief course through her entire body. She exhaled, her shoulders slumping, and opened her mouth, but no words came out. She swallowed thickly, and took in a deep breath before releasing it.

“ _O, slava Bogu_ ,” she muttered under her breath in Bulgarian while her aunt and adoptive mother both stared at her. This time, they looked more concerned, than confused.

“Nadia, maybe you should sit down?” Hayley suggested, and gestured over to the couch the she and Rebekah had been occupying earlier. She nodded slowly, and felt tears prickling at her eyes.

“Would you like something do drink?” Rebekah asked, her words slightly slurred, and made space for her as she slowly dragged herself in the direction of the couch, her legs feeling like Jell-O. She stumbled onto the couch, and Hayley sank down with her while Rebekah moved away.

“C- can I have some of that?” she muttered, gesturing to the bottle of wine.

“No way!” Hayley yelled, shaking her head vehemently. 

“Absolutely not!” Rebekah exclaimed, then added, “not that there is any left.”

Nadia sniffled, “m- maybe open another one?” she suggested, half-jokingly.

“Did you not hear us?” Rebekah snapped, though she kept her voice low. “You are underage, Nadia. We said no, absolutely not! Is that clear?”

“Yeah…” she whispered, nodding.

“Now, would you like a glass of water? A cuppa tea or hot chocolate?” she asked, her voice even.

“Water is fine,” she mumbled.

“And, maybe some tea, Bekah?” Hayley suggested. “We could all use some.”

“Sure thing,” her aunt said with a smile before trotting over, a little unstably, to the kitchen.

Once Rebekah was out of earshot, Hayley turned to her, and took a deep breath, then let it out.

“Did you- did you see him?” she wondered, her voice trembling, and sniffled again.

Hayley sighed heavily, “yeah… yes, I did. He’s-” she paused, and met her gaze. Nadia could see Hayley’s eyes were bloodshot like she’d been crying, and probably coupled with the alcohol, too.

“He’s what?” she whispered, and hiccupped.

“He’s okay,” Hayley said, swallowing thickly. “He’s okay. I checked on him before I left the hospital, he was breathing on his own, and he was stable. Yeah, he’s a little banged up, and it’ll take a while for him to heal, but he’s okay,” she told her, her voice gentle but firm. Nadia just nodded numbly, and sniffled. Hayley reached to rest a reassuring hand on her leg. “He’s _okay_ , Nadia,” she repeated, emphasizing the word.

At that, Nadia cracked. Tears that she’d been keeping at bay ever since she’d entered the house, all day really, finally spilled over, falling down her cheeks, and she let out a ragged breath, choking back a sob. They were tears of relief, but also sadness, heartbreak, and most of all hurt. Hurt at being abandoned by her father, hurt because her mother was dead, hurt because she had come so close to losing Elijah, too. She let out a sob and put her face in her hands, letting the tears fall, and felt Hayley come closer, wrap her arms around her as Nadia sobbed both from relief and hurt.

“Shh,” Hayley muttered softly as she rubbed her back while she just cried, putting her face in the crook of Hayley’s neck, letting her adoptive mother hold her. At some point, her aunt brought over the tea and sat on Nadia’s other side, rubbing her back comfortingly and holding her hand. And, when Luke cried because he was hungry, Rebekah held her while Hayley went to feed the baby. Nadia hardly even realized it when the two women dragged her to her bed and tucked her in like she was a small child, and she didn’t even notice what Rebekah had done afterwards. But, in the morning, the blonde was there, making French toast when Nadia came down.

* * *

**Post-Op Day 1**

Elijah woke up in excruciating pain, and let out a groan, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them slowly, bracing himself. He felt someone’s hand holding his, and as he blinked several times he saw long blonde hair, and could make out the sleeping form of his older sister, Freya. A wave of disappointment filled him, though maybe he should have expected it, expected that she wouldn’t be there when he woke up. But, still, a part of him had hoped Hayley would be there. But, she wasn’t.

Freya woke up moments later, blinking sleepily at him before she realized he was awake.

“Elijah? Elijah? Are you awake?” she asked, her voice a hushed whisper as she sat up, her blue eyes filled with worry.

“Y- yeah,” he rasped, and felt another wave of searing pain, and he let out another pained groan, squeezing his eyes shut again.

“Are you in pain? Oh, Gods, what am I saying? You are,” Freya burst out, though her words sounded jumbled. “Where does it hurt?” she asked, moving closer to him, and he felt her caress his cheek slowly.

“E- every… where…” he managed, his voice hoarse and raspy, and opened his eyes slightly.

“I’m so sorry,” Freya whispered. “Let me get you some water, you must be thirsty. And, I’ll get your doctors and a nurse,” she said in a rush, then stood up and disappeared from the room. Elijah squeezed his eyes shut once more, and took several deep breaths, releasing them slowly.

Freya returned with some water, a nurse and his surgical team, who wasted no time in examining him.

“Alright, let’s check your legs, Captain Mikaelson,” Dr. O’Connell, his neurosurgeon said. “Can you feel this?” he asked and first hit his sole with something.

“Y- yes,” he stammered, and inhaled sharply before exhaling.

“How about this?” he asked, pricking him now. Elijah responded in the affirmative. “That’s the uninjured leg, which is still promising. Let’s check the injured leg now,” Dr. O’Connell said and Elijah felt pressure against his right foot and he let out a sigh of relief.

“Y- yeah,” he muttered, nodding affirmatively.

“How about now?” the neurosurgeon asked, pricking his right foot now. Again, Elijah answered in the affirmative.

After the doctors finished their exams, they spoke to him about pain management. As much as he had wanted no opioids, that wasn’t really an option with how much pain he was in, so the hospital was going to control his morphine doses and slowly wean him off morphine, replacing it with alternative pain relief.

“Sounds good,” he muttered, shuddering in pain, sweat trickling down his brow.

“You’ll get a dose right away, just hang in there,” Jo told him kindly. “And, we’ll give you some mild sedation, analgesics to relax you, okay?” she added, and all he could do was just nod. [He hadn’t wanted pain killers before, but now he was in pain, and he knew he couldn’t handle it on his own. He had to trust his doctors and nurses to control the dosage to make sure he wouldn’t become addicted to them].

After the doctors left, a nurse came in and administered something into his IV, and Elijah felt drowsy as the pain ebbed away slightly, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier, and he exhaled in relief, letting himself succumb to sleep, the only sound coming from the beeping monitors.

* * *

Elijah’s sleep wasn’t peaceful, though, and at some point he woke up, a scream escaping his lips, and he was covered in sweat.

“Elijah!” someone exclaimed, and he felt that someone steady him, gripping his shoulders lightly. He blinked, opening his eyes slowly, pushing the memories of war, blood and missing limbs, the screams of his fellow soldiers away, and focused on the figure in front of him. It was dark in the room, but he could make out a familiar shape, a pair of shining hazel eyes, chocolate locks. _Hayley_. And, as she touched his face, as she reached for his hand, he knew it, he felt her, and he knew how she felt. He’d always known her, the feel of her hand, her gentle touch, the ring on her index finger.

“Hayley…” he gasped, trailing off. “Y- you’re here?” he whispered, though it sounded more like a questions. “Hayley,” he repeated, his voice trembling. “Wh- what are you doing here?”

“I-” she cut herself off, “are you okay? You were screaming,” she said softly. 

“Nightmare,” he sighed, and blinked a few more times, trying to push the memories away, but no matter what they still lingered at the corners of his vision, in the back of his mind, the blood, the smell of burnt flesh, the screams.

“Elijah!” Hayley exclaimed, snapping him out of it, and he blinked before focusing his eyes on her once more.

“Huh?”

“Hey,” she said softly, rubbing his knuckles. “Where did you go?” she wondered.

“I don’t- it was just a nightmare. I’m fine, I- why are you here?” he said, shaking his head, not wanting to talk about it. Especially not with Hayley. [She couldn’t see him like this, this side of him. She couldn’t know the things that haunted him, that would probably haunt him for a while. She couldn’t see the scars, both visible and invisible. She wouldn’t want him, or at least that was what he told himself].

Hayley seemed to understand everything he didn’t say, and just rolled her eyes. “I was checking in on you. Your family’s been taking turns sitting with you, but Klaus and Kol are in surgery. So is Freya. Visiting hours are over, so Rebekah can’t be here. But, I was in the ICU anyways, so…” she trailed off, shrugging.

“Hmph,” was all he managed.

“Are you- do you want some water?” she asked him. He just nodded, and she stood up to retrieve a plastic cup, filling it with water before helping him with it. He attempted to smile gratefully in return.

“Are you in any pain?” she asked after a while.

He nodded just as a fresh wave of pain coursed through him, and squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth. Hayley immediately reached for him, and he felt her cool, soft hand on his cheek. Instinctively, he leaned into her touch as she caressed his cheek gently, and he sighed, opening his eyes slowly to meet her gaze.

“According to your chart, you’re not due for another dose for another hour, so just try to relax,” she whispered softly. “Everything’s going to be okay, just relax,” she murmured, continuing to caress him. He nodded, still groaning, and felt sweat trickling down his brow, but Hayley wiped it away.

“I- it h-hurts,” he muttered, panting slightly, and felt his eyes burn with tears. “I’m- I’m sorry, I-” he started to say, to apologize, though he wasn’t sure what for, but she cut him off.

“Shh, don’t. Don’t apologize,” she whispered breathlessly. “Just- just relax, Elijah, and it’s going to be okay,” she said as she continued to rub his knuckles. “It’s okay, I’m here, it’s going to be okay,” she whispered, and he nodded, letting himself focus on her voice, and relaxed slowly, getting drowsy.

* * *

**Post-Op Day 2**

After he fell asleep, lulled by Hayley’s soft voice, he slept relatively peacefully, especially after receiving his next dose of morphine. He wasn’t sure how long Hayley stayed, but in the morning she was gone, replaced by Rebekah.

It went on like this. He kept drifting in and out of consciousness, never quite awake, drowsy and unable to focus because of the pain until he finally managed to fall asleep while his siblings came in and out of the room, sitting with him for a few minutes at a time. Sometimes, he was awake enough that he managed to exchange a few words with them; other times, he could barely figure out which of his siblings was with him. His surgical team came in, too, to check on him and examine him, but he barely registered them.

* * *

**Post-Op Day 3**

He woke up screaming and panting from a nightmare sometime during the night, though this time Hayley wasn’t there to comfort him or take his mind off his dreams, and the memories lingered. He could see the blood, smell the burnt flesh, hear the screams like flashes that appeared and disappeared as he blinked. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to regain control of his breathing, but each breath hurt, and he squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, willing the pain away. Eventually, he managed to control his breathing and took several deep breaths, then released him. He tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t until a nurse came in with his next dose of morphine and slight sedative.

The next morning, he did feel better and was more or less alert when Niklaus and Rebekah came in to visit.

“You look better,” his brother observed, though Elijah could see him looking at him, and he even consulted his chart. “Your vitals are normal, too,” he added.

“He’s got doctors for that, Nik,” Rebekah muttered, flashing their brother a glare. Then, she turned to him, “how are you feeling, brother?”

“Better,” he admitted, and both Niklaus and Rebekah smiled.

“How’s the pain?”

He shrugged, “sometimes tolerable, other times – torture,” he answered simply. His siblings just nodded. “How is- how is everything?” he wondered.

Both Rebekah and Niklaus glanced at each other before turning back to him, “well, not sure we need to discuss that, brother,” Niklaus said nervously.

“Oh, come on, humor me, please. Just… talk about something, anything, and distract me,” he requested.

Rebekah sighed, “oh, alright. If you must know, I made junior partner at the firm,” she announced, then launched into a lengthy discussion of her law firm much to Niklaus’ annoyance, though it provided a healthy distraction from Elijah, especially as his pain was starting to creep in. Niklaus, for his part, threw in the occasional commentary, then talked about Camille, his job, and a little bit about Hope.

Eventually, both Rebekah and Niklaus left, Rebekah to a meeting, and Niklaus to surgery, but they were soon replaced by his doctors and a nurse who administered his next dose of morphine, though this one was smaller as they were slowly weaning him off of morphine.

“Well, everything is healing well, Elijah,” Jo announced after they’d all examined him, and the other surgeons nodded in agreement. “So, you can start physical therapy today,” she added. “Dr. Sienna will meet you in your recovery room, she’s one of our best,” she added with a small smile. Elijah raked his brain for a Dr. Sienna, but couldn’t think of one. [As an ortho surgeon, he’d met his fair share of physical therapists, though he hadn’t met this one. Maybe that was for the best].

“Okay,” he nodded, “thank you.”

“No problem. And, Tristan will drop by to discuss if you want to hide any of the surgical scars,” she informed him. He stiffened at that, and just nodded numbly, trying not to think of any surgical scars. His surgical scars. He pushed the thought away. “Okay, well, we’ll, uh, we’ll leave you to it,” she said softly, sensing the change in mood. “Dr. Sienna will be here soon,” she added. And, with that, the doctors left the room, pausing to pat him lightly on the shoulder.

Several minutes later, a few nurses and orderlies came to transfer him to recovery, where he, thankfully, had his own room with its own bathroom.

“After Dr. Sienna consults, we’ll see about removing the catheter, okay?” the nurse asked softly and he nodded. The nurse left after that, and he was once again alone with his thoughts. He tried not to think of Hayley, but the more he tried, the more he thought of her, of Luke, of Nadia, and Hope, and he wondered what they were doing. And, he missed them, all of them, but Hayley especially. He missed her, all of her. He missed her laugh, he missed her smile, her eyes, her voice. He missed everything about her, and he wanted her. He knew, deep down, that things between them weren’t like before, but still he hoped and ached to see her.

But, he wasn’t alone for long because soon the door opened and he perked up, hoping it was Hayley, but it wasn’t. A pretty brunette, with long, dark hair and brown eyes entered, wearing teal scrubs that tended to be worn by physio therapists.

“Hello, Elijah, my name is Dr. Antoinette Sienna,” she said by way of greeting as she entered, shutting the door behind her.

“Hi,” he said as her lips curled into a smile. “It’s, uh, it’s nice to meet you,” he added, and held out his hand. She shook it, still smiling softly.

“Alright, well, as you may or may not know, I’m your physical therapist, and I’m going to work with you to get you back on your feet and moving soon. But, we are going to start slow, so I can assess where we’re at, and figure out a plan, alright?” she said and he nodded. “Good. Well, why don’t you try sitting up?” she suggested. He nodded, and propped himself up on his elbows, managing to lift his upper body ever so slightly. “Good,” Dr. Sienna smiled, “keep going, you’re not fully sitting up,” she urged as he continued to try to pull himself up into a sitting position, but failed. Finally, Dr. Sienna sat on the bed and held her hands out to him. He reached for her, and holding onto her hands, he managed to sit up. “Good,” she smiled again. Then, she pushed him back against the pillows. “Now, let’s go again.”

They kept going like that several times until he could sit up on his own, then Dr. Sienna swung his legs over the bed, and coached him into sitting up with his legs down, her holding up his operated leg.

“Alright, now why don’t we try sitting in this chair?” she suggested, gesturing to the chair by the bed.

“Okay,” he agreed. _How hard could it be? It was only a few inches away from the bed, he could do this._ She helped position him, then helped him stand with much groaning from him, and he leaned his right side onto her.

“Shh, it’s alright, Elijah, it’s alright,” she murmured softly as she helped him stand. “Now, let’s try making our way over to the chair,” she coaxed. He nodded, squeezed his eyes shut, pushing away the pain, then opened them, and gritted his teeth as he forced himself to move in the direction of the chair. But, his right leg was immobilized and he couldn’t put any pressure on it, so he had to move with his left. He took one step, but pain soon flared in his lower back. “That’s right, Elijah,” Dr. Sienna said softly, “keep going. Hop with your injured leg and step with your uninjured one,” she urged.

“N- no, I don’t think- ugh, it hurts, maybe we should stop now, I-” he stammered, exhausted, but Dr. Sienna continued to urge him to take those tiny step towards the chair.

“Come on, you can do this, Elijah. I believe in you, I know you can,” she encouraged him, but her encouragement didn’t help. The pain intensified, coursing through him, and he squeezed his eyes shut again, gritting his teeth as he tried to push past it, forcing himself to move closer to the chair, but the pain was becoming getting worse, and even his left leg felt like Jell-O. “Come on, Elijah,” Dr. Sienna coaxed, but it wasn’t helping anymore. Still, he forced himself closer to the chair, and finally collapsed into it, resulting in a loud, rattling sound.

“You did it!” she exclaimed proudly, smiling at him, but he couldn’t see her. No, all he saw was blood, all he heard was screaming, all he could smell, instead of the antiseptic of the hospital room and Dr. Sienna’s flowery fragrance was burnt flesh. _And, he was back there, in pain, blood everywhere, torn limbs around him, a chopper in the distance, his fellow soldiers screaming._ “That was great-” he heard Dr. Sienna say, all pleased and excited, but he couldn’t stand it.

“Get off of me!” he snapped, moving his hands blindly, pushing her off. He needed her off, she was just a weight on top of him and he needed to be free. “Get off of me!” he yelled, louder this time. She scrambled off of him, and reached for his shoulder, and she was speaking softly, but he couldn’t stand her, and he pushed her off. “Don’t touch me!” he snapped, choking back a sob. “Don’t touch me! Just- just leave me alone!” he all but sobbed, his voice trembling. _Blood, burnt flesh, screaming, the sounds of a chopper, and he wasn’t safe. He needed to be safe, he needed to move, but he couldn’t._ His whole body shook as he put his head in his hands, and his fingers pulling at his hair, the bandage that had been wrapped around it now gone, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, tears spilling down his cheeks as he sobbed, inhaling and exhaling in short gasps, trying to breathe. He couldn’t breathe, he just couldn’t breathe, and his heart hammered wildly in his chest, causing the monitors to beep loudly which only intensified the sounds in his mind. He felt trapped, suffocated, and he just couldn’t stop shaking.

“Shh, Elijah,” Dr. Sienna kept saying softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe. You’re at St. John’s Memorial Hospital, and you’re safe. It’s okay. Shh, just take deep breaths,” she whispered, and eventually her distorted words started making sense and he managed to process them. Eventually, he managed to inhale and exhale, regaining control of his breathing, and calmed down. “There now, you’re okay,” she whispered softly. “Let’s get you back into bed,” she added softly, and helped him from the chair before guiding him patiently to the bed, and helped him onto it, positioning him as well.

“Thank you,” he muttered.

“Better, now?”

“Yeah…” he sighed weakly. “I’m sorry,” he added, feeling ashamed.

“Don’t apologize. I should be the one apologizing, I forced you on your first day of PT. I’m so sorry. We’ll go as slow or as fast as you want starting tomorrow, okay?” she said and he nodded. “I know… I know that with these accidents, the body starts to heal quickly, but the mind needs more time. That’s all you need, Elijah. Time. Okay?”

“Yeah…” he nodded again, though he was hardly paying attention to her.

“Alright, well, I’ll tell your nurse not to remove your catheter yet, not until you can manage to the bathroom with little help, okay?” He just nodded, numbly, though he felt disappointment at the news. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, alright?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow,” he mumbled in monotone. Dr. Sienna glanced at him again before turning and leaving the room, leaving Elijah alone with his thoughts once again.

* * *

Not long after Dr. Sienna left, a nurse came in and administered something through his IV, and Elijah had the feeling it wasn’t morphine, though it did bring him some relief, enough to relax his body. And, eventually, he managed to relax his mind enough to fall asleep, though it was far from peaceful, and he tossed and turned, grunting and groaning in his sleep.

When he woke up, it was late because the sky was dark, and the room was illuminated by softer light coming from a lamp. Elijah sighed heavily as he looked around the room, and tried to relax against the pillows. The door opened, and a nurse entered.

“Ah, good, you’re awake,” she said with a smile, and stepped aside to allow a food service worker to enter and deposit a tray in front of him.

“Any chance this includes solids?” he asked, looking down at the tray. [Since he was three days post-op, he was on a liquid diet, but he was already tired of it].

“Sorry, dude, but no,” the food guy told him with an amused smile.

“Wonderful,” he muttered drily.

“Enjoy!” both the nurse and food guy said, waving at him before leaving.

With a heavy sigh, Elijah turned to the food and opened the first container, labeled soup.

It turned out that he’d been a little hungry because he managed to eat the entire meal, and the same food guy reentered, picking up his tray and leaving.

But, he wasn’t alone for long because the door opened again, only this time it was Kol.

“Ah, brother, you’re awake!” Kol said cheerfully. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he sighed, but Kol didn’t seem convinced. “Better,” he amended.

“Good. How was PT? And, don’t even attempt to say the word ‘fine’,” Kol continued as he leaned against the door.

“Exhausting,” he admitted with a shrug. [It was true, maybe not the whole truth, but Elijah wasn’t about to tell Kol that PT had triggered a PTSD episode].

“Well, I brought you a visitor who will hopefully make you feel better,” Kol announced, and Elijah perked up a bit. His younger brother disappeared for a second back in the hallway before returning with none other than Nadia.

“Nadia,” he said softly as the teenager stepped into the room. She looked older, and taller, her wavy brown hair hung over her shoulders, and she was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, with a worn leather jacket Elijah recognized as Katherine’s on top, her schoolbag slung over her shoulder.

“H- hi,” she said softly, smiling shyly at him.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to catch up,” Kol said and exited the room, leaving the two of them alone.

Nadia stepped closer to the bed, her brown eyes that resembled his wide as she took him in. Slowly, she made her way over to the bed, and rounded it to the other side before sitting down in the chair beside it.

“Hi,” she repeated, her voice thick with emotion.

“Hi,” he breathed out, exhaling slowly.

“How… how are you?” she asked, peering at him warily.

“I’m-” he paused and sighed, “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it,” he told her.

“Hmm,” she nodded. “Are you- does it hurt?” she wondered, giving him an appraising look.

He winced as a new wave of pain coursed through him, and took in a deep breath, then released it and gritted his teeth.

“Are you okay?” Nadia asked quietly, biting her lip nervously.

“Uh, a little. The pain comes and goes,” he told her. “But, don’t worry about it, Nadia. I’ll be fine,” he told her, brushing her off. “How- how are you? How is school?”

“Fine, I’m fine. School’s good,” she told him, smiling tensely.

“Friends?”

“Yeah, I have some friends,” she nodded, still smiling tensely.

“I- it’s been so long, Nadia,” he told her, reaching for her, but she didn’t move, just sat in her chair rigidly. “I’ve missed you,” he added honestly.

But, Nadia tensed at that, “and, whose fault was that?” she snapped, and Elijah winced slightly, immediately feeling guilty.

“I know, I’m so sorry, Nadia. Truly. I’m sorry I left, but I just-” he apologized and tried to explain, though he didn’t really have a good explanation, but she didn’t let him.

“No! You don’t get to just say you’re sorry and pretend everything is fine!” she yelled angrily, though he could see her eyes were shining with unshed tears and her lower lip quivered. “You left. You left Hayley, and Luke, and me. You left _me_ ,” she said in a lower tone, her voice cracking. “My mother died, and my father ran off to the army to play G.I. Joe,” she added.

“I didn’t just- it’s more complicated than that,” he said, trying to keep his own tone calm.

“Oh, really?” she quipped sarcastically. “Then, why? Why? Why did you leave?” she demanded, crossing her arms in a way that resembled Katherine a little too much. She shook her head, “because I don’t for a second think it was because you suddenly felt like doing more service,” she rolled her eyes in disgust. “And, _don’t_ say it was because of my mother. You and her were over long before she came back! So why? Why did you leave?” she asked, repeating her earlier question, though her voice shook.

“I-” he stopped himself. _Why did he leave? Sometimes, he wasn’t sure he actually knew._ [There was the anger, mostly unjustified, at the role Hayley had played in Katherine dying, anger at Katherine herself for dying, fear and panic when Hayley told him she was pregnant, not wanting to replace Jonathan with a new baby]. But, Elijah didn’t know how to tell Nadia any of it. “I was hurting, and I was scared,” he admitted, sighing heavily. “Your mother died, and as much as I didn’t love her anymore, as much as we were over, I don’t know… I couldn’t deal with that…” he trailed off and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. It wasn’t just that, but Elijah didn’t know how to tell Nadia what exactly about Katherine’s death had affected him.

“Well, running off to the army and abandoning your teenage daughter right when her mother died, was certainly not the right way to deal with it,” Nadia retorted and he winced.

“I know that, Nadia. I know it wasn’t the right way, but I- I got scared. I panicked,” he admitted, his own voice thick with emotion.

“You panicked?”

“Yeah. Hayley told me she was pregnant and I panicked. I panicked and I ran, and I know it was wrong. I know that. But, I was scared,” he told her, his voice trembling with emotion.

“Right,” she sighed. “Because your girlfriend telling you she’s pregnant somehow translates to: ‘go ahead and go back to the army’!” she yelled, and stood up abruptly, letting out a bitter chuckle. “I can’t even…” she shook her head, her voice dropping.

“It wasn’t like that!” he snapped, his own voice rising for the first time in this conversation. “Look, Nadia, I understand you are angry at me and hurt, but it wasn’t so simple. I- I just- I couldn’t... it felt like it was going to replace him,” he admitted, and Nadia froze. “Jonathan. I was worried- no, I was scared that this... having a new baby was going to replace your brother. And, I couldn’t handle that,” he admitted, his voice cracking, and he blinked back tears that prickled at his eyes.

But, Nadia didn’t say anything. She just stood there, frozen, and stared at him for several seconds. Finally, she moved, but not to sit down. Instead, she turned and moved away from the bed, and Elijah realized she was leaving.

“Nadia-” he started calling out, hoping to stop her, and she did.

Finally, she turned around, and Elijah winced when he noticed her eyes brimming with tears. She started talking, her voice barely a whisper, “you were so worried about ‘replacing’ Jonathan, that instead you abandoned the two kids you still had. Because his memory meant more to you than we did,” she said, her voice rising slowly. “You have spent four years so wrapped up with Jonathan’s ghost that you either don’t _see_ or don’t _care_ how much you hurt everyone else around you!” she continued, her voice getting louder and louder, filled with anger, though he could hear the slight tremor in it, too. “Why the fuck do we have to die to matter to you?” she snapped, almost tearfully, and Elijah flinched. “Why are you so incapable of giving a shit about anybody who’s actually alive?” she yelled, and while part of him was aware his daughter was cursing, he wasn’t about to scold her on her language. He didn’t have the right to do that. “I get that you miss him,” she said in lower tone. She shook her head almost in exasperation, “I just don’t understand why you don’t love _us_. What did we do wrong? All I wanted was to know my father,” she admitted, her voice dropping. “And Luke? What did he do? He didn’t ask to be born,” she was practically crying now, but Elijah couldn’t say anything, and just let her keep going. They’d gotten this far, after all. “If you were really that worried about replacing Jonathan, that adamant about never having more kids, maybe you should have been more careful,” she said in an accusatory tone. She took a few deep breaths, then sighed. When she spoke next, her voice was calm, icy and cold. “Hayley is leaving it up to me if I want anything to do with you. I'm just here because I don't want to be like you,” she said, sounding indifferent. “You may not actually deserve a goodbye, but I needed to say it. Not that you actually care,” she shrugged. “Thank you for getting the paternity test and overturning my first adoption so that Hayley could adopt me when my mother died,” she said, nodding. “But... as far as I’m concerned, my father died when my brother did,” she confessed, her voice hollow and Elijah flinched at that. “His ability to love anyone certainly did,” she added, mumbling, and it felt like a knife was being twisted in his chest. “Go to Hell, Elijah,” she finished. And, with that, she turned around and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

Once the door shut, Elijah put his face in his hands and wept.


	5. I Didn't Say Half the Things I Wanted To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah continues to recuperate. Hayley is done avoiding him, but confronting him leads to more pain. Klaus decides to give his brother a piece of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, flashbacks are in italics! And, I apologize this took so long, but I don't have as much time these days!  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> xx

**Post-Op Day 5**

Elijah knew that by all accounts he was doing well for 5 days post-op, but he didn’t _feel_ like it. Sure, he was eating solids, and was responding well to the alternative pain relief. And, according to Dr. Sienna, or Antoinette, as she kept insisting he call her, he was doing well in physical therapy. But, he still felt… well, he couldn’t quite name what he felt, but it was in the range of weak, useless, hopeless, sad, in pain. [In PT, for example, he was sitting up and standing out of bed mostly by himself, and he could stand up from a chair, but still needed help to actually move between the bed and the chair and back. Antoinette kept saying it was progress, and very good progress, but it didn’t feel like it. He was a soldier for the love of God; he’d done the military training when he first enlisted, and even after he’d been doing boxing and running, and now he needed help to get to a chair not even a foot away from the bed].

“Come on, Elijah,” Antoinette encouraged sweetly, standing patiently beside him. “You can do this, I know you can,” she added.

“I- I can’t,” he sighed, shaking his head as he forced himself to take another step, but everything hurt, and his body felt like a foreign object.

“Yeah, you can,” Antoinette said encouragingly. “Come on, only a few more steps. Just take a deep breath, and step,” she urged him.

Elijah gritted his teeth, “I- it hurts,” he groaned, inhaling and exhaling, trying to focus on his breathing as he took another painful step. He hated this. He hated being so weak and unable to move any more than one tiny step.

“I know,” Antoinette said, “but I also know that you can do this. You’re almost there. Think about the fact that if you get through this, then practice making it to the bathroom, we’ll go to the PT room,” she told him.

“Okay,” he nodded. He could do this. He had to. He took another deep breath, and exhaled slowly, and still gritting his teeth managed to take those last few steps to the chair. This time, when he sat down, he didn’t collapse into it, avoiding another panic attack.

Antoinette clapped, pleased, “great job, Elijah! That was amazing!” she exclaimed cheerfully.

He frowned, “getting from the bed to this bloody chair was amazing?” he snapped. “I’m a soldier, or at least I was. You do realize that has a physical aspect, too. And, I used to box and run. I was quite athletic, and now it’s all I can do not to collapse from pain and exhaustion just moving from the bed to this damn chair!” His voice was louder and harsher than he’d intended, but he was just so tired of it all. So tired and angry. “This isn’t me,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I hate this. Do you understand? I _hate_ this!” he spat. Antoinette just took it, probably used to dealing with patients like him. He hung his head.

“I know it’s hard, Elijah,” she said softly. “I know that, believe me, I do. But, you shouldn’t be this hard on yourself. You went through a horrible accident, and you should consider yourself lucky you escaped-”

But, he cut her off, her words only angering him more, “lucky? I should consider myself lucky?” he yelled. “I’m not lucky,” he shook his head, his voice filled with disgust. “You don’t- you don’t know me. You don’t know all that I’ve lost,” his voice cracked and he felt a familiar ache in his chest as memories filled his head. Antoinette just stood there, but he couldn’t stand the sight of her, right now. “Get out,” he said, his voice icy and cold.

“Elijah, we’re not- I-” she stammered, but he cut her off again.

“Just- get out!” he repeated, his tone still icy and cold, and finally Antoinette turned around and left him alone to his thoughts and memories.

It was only after she left that he realized he was still in the chair, and he needed to get into bed. Slowly, he stood up, his whole body aching in protest, and stood there for a second, taking several deep breaths and exhaling. And then, he took one step, and another, and another in the direction of the bed. It seemed to be going well despite the fact that his body hurt at this point, but he couldn’t give up. He wasn’t _that_ weak. Until he was and his legs gave in, and he felt himself falling down. Instinctively, he reached out with his hand to grasp onto something, hoping his right leg wouldn’t take the brunt of the injury, and braced himself, but the impact never came. A pair of arms wrapped around him, and hoisted him up, slinging his arm over the person’s shoulder. Elijah soon realized it was Josh, one of the interns and the boyfriend of Hope’s godfather.

“Thanks,” he muttered as Josh helped him over to the bed, and pulled away, hoisting himself onto the bed.

“No problem,” Josh replied. “You sure you don’t, like, need help to get into bed?” he asked awkwardly.

“I’m fine,” he said gruffly as he attempted to get into bed which was easier said than done. But, before he could fall or injure himself in any other way, Josh just pulled his upper body up and then put his legs onto the bed. “Dude, you almost died like a few days ago. Can you, like, at least pretend to have some damn common sense?” he quipped, slightly amused.

Elijah just rolled his eyes as he adjusted himself in bed, careful not to jostle his spine too much.

“Thank you, Joshua,” he said with a small smile.

“No problem,” Josh nodded. There was an awkward pause before Josh cleared his throat. “Well, uh, I’m gonna go. I have things to do. Medical things… SCUT… err, right, well-” he was cut off by the sound of his phone page. “Oh, look, it’s the E.R. Right, well, bye!” he said and waved before turning and exiting the room, leaving Elijah once again alone.

Elijah sighed heavily before reaching for his phone and unlocking it, and after staring at the home screen photo for a few moments, he went to his camera album and began flicking through the last photos that Henrik had sent him.

* * *

Hayley was well aware she was avoiding Elijah, and had been ever since his second day after the surgery. Now, it had been over a week, but Hayley still couldn’t bring herself to see him. [Avoiding him at the hospital wasn’t too difficult, it wasn’t like Elijah was up and about. All she had to do was avoid the recovery wing he was in].

Except, her resolve in avoiding the father of two of her children was weakening to the point that Hayley had taken to passing by the doors to the recovery wing he was in once in a while, though she never dared to go inside.

Until today, that is. Hayley had just left Luke at the nursery after breastfeeding him since she didn’t have surgery along with a two bottles of expressed milk, and was on her way back to the E.R. But, since she had nothing urgent in the E.R., she started walking aimlessly around the hospital, and unsurprisingly ended up, once again, in front of the recovery wing Elijah was in. But, this time, she went in. She stopped and entered the hallway, and walked down the hall. _I’ll just check in,_ she thought. _He might not even be awake._ Despite her anger and hurt, she couldn’t help but still care about him, and she remembered the night she’d snuck in to sit with him and he’d woken up from a nightmare. He’d been so terrified, so panicked, and all Hayley had wanted to do was take him into her arms and comfort him, but she couldn’t do that. For one, because Elijah had barely been hanging on, then, and secondly because it was obvious the nightmare was because of the war. [And, he was only in that predicament because he had left her, so she wasn’t going to comfort him. In fact, that was why she began to avoid him the next day]. But, now she couldn’t avoid him any longer. She needed to make sure he was okay.

Hayley stopped at the door to Elijah’s room, her hand resting on the doorhandle, and hesitated before opening it.

“He’s not in,” someone said behind her, and Hayley glanced back to find out it was a nurse. “He’s in PT,” she added as an explanation.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll just wait,” she muttered.

“Might take a while,” the nurse told her.

“It’s fine,” she said, flashing the nurse a smile before pushing the door open and entering the room. Sure enough, the room was empty, and Hayley let the door slam behind her as she entered it.

She walked aimlessly around the room, her mind drifting to the occupant of the room, and she recalled how they’d once had sex in a room very similar to this one.

_“Hayley,” Elijah muttered breathlessly as the door slammed behind them. Her hands were wrapped around his neck and his were firmly on her waist, and Hayley very much wanted to tear the lab coat and scrubs off her boyfriend. “This is a patient’s room.”_

_“But, do you see any patient in here?” she quipped, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she pulled him towards her until her back was pressed against the wall._

_Elijah shook his head, “but, someone could still find us here,” he told her in an attempt to convince her to go. But, the idea of getting caught was half the fun._

_“So, we’ll lock the door,” she told him, and to demonstrate moved to the door, locking it in one swift move, one hand still on Elijah. She could see it in his eyes that he knew he was losing the argument. “C’mon, Elijah,” she whispered breathlessly against his lips, her hands still resting at the back of his neck, “live a little.”_

_That was all Elijah seemed to need in order to lose control. His hands drifted up until he was pinning her shoulders to the wall, and then his mouth descended hungrily onto hers, and he kissed her deeply, passionately, with abandon. She returned the kiss, her own lips molding with his, desperate and urging. Their tongues tangled together as Hayley’s hands drifted to his lab coat and she quickly pushed it off, the lab coat and stethoscope falling to the floor. Elijah did with hers as they broke the kiss briefly, both of them panting slightly._

_“You… are… wicked…” he muttered hoarsely, and she chuckled, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips._

_“But, you love it,” she retorted before pulling him in for another searing kiss, her hands threading his hair, his drifting along her body, pressing her against the wall._

_The next time they broke the kiss, Elijah picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, hoisting herself on his shoulders before attacking his lips again. Elijah responded eagerly, his own lips matching hers in frenzy and urgency._

_“Take me to bed, Elijah,” she muttered breathlessly, pulling briefly away._

_“Here?”_

_“Of course here,” she rolled her eyes at him, although she was more amused than annoyed. “Do you have any other options?” He shook his head, laughing, then gently carried her over to the bed, lowering her gingerly onto it before climbing on top of her. They paused to relieve each other of their clothes. Their scrubs fell to the floor, her top thrown to one side, his to the other, and their pants received a similar treatment. His boxers went next before he practically ripped her thong off, grumbling about the fact that she was wearing such an article of clothing at work. She just rolled her eyes, chuckling. In one swift move, he unclasped her bra, and she flushed at the look of pure wonder and lust in his eyes._

_“God, I love you,” he muttered against her lips, and she grinned._

_“I love you, too,” she told him, and kissed him._

_His hands cupped her breasts, and he began playing with them, his hands moving, roaming, and he lowered his head to suck on each of her nipples, sending shockwaves of pleasure through her. Then, one of his hands drifted down, fingers brushing against her skin, rubbing sensuous circles over her hips and abdomen while his mouth found hers, and he captured her lips. And then, he reached her folds and gently rubbed his fingers there, and she could feel herself getting wet, and her stomach tightened in anticipation._

_“Fuck,” Elijah muttered, sex being one of the rare occasions he cursed, but it only sent shivers down Hayley’s spine. Especially as he added, “you’re so fucking wet for me,” in a low, husky whisper._

_She panted as she cradled the back of his neck in her hands, pressing him closer to her, her breasts pressing against his chest, her legs wrapped around his waist. “Oh, fuck… I need you inside me, Elijah,” she gasped, her muscles tightening._

_“Oh, you’re so fucking wet for me, Hayley,” he groaned against her lips._

_She rubbed her nose against his, “-need you… inside me, right now, ‘Lijah…” she said more firmly, still panting._

_“As you wish,” he murmured against her lips, and then she felt him enter her, and she moaned loudly, her hands pressing him closer. He steadied her, his hands resting firmly on her lower back, as she shifted to accommodate him before he began thrusting into her, picking up pace._

_“Oh, ‘Lijah… fuck!” she moaned, panting breathlessly._

_Her ponytail came undone as Elijah practically ripped off her hair elastic, her dark chocolate locks spilling down her shoulders. One hand drifted up, cupping the back of her head, fingers sinking into her tresses as the other one rested firmly on her thigh._

_“Hayley, fuck… want you,” he muttered as he continued to thrust inside her, hitting her G-spot just right, causing her to moan. “Shh, we have to be more quiet, or people will know,” he added in a hoarse whisper._

_“I don’t care,” she shook her head, but muffled her next moan with his lips as she kissed him. Elijah’s chuckle reverberated through his chest, and she giggled against his lips. “Mm… want you… need you… ‘Lijah…” she panted against his lips, and he picked up his pace, and she knew she was close to her climax._

_“Hayley, sweetheart,” he crooned as he continued to thrust hard and fast, a rhythm they both enjoyed, and one that was sure to bring both of them to their climax soon. “-need you… want you… mm… so good…” he panted in that low husky voice that sent shivers down her spine. “Fuck, I’m going to-” he whispered, and groaned. And then, he let out a moan muffled by her hair as he buried his face in the crook of her neck as he spilled inside her._

_She wasn’t far behind._

_“-want you… need you… ‘Lijah… I’m going to cum- fuck… I- baby…” she panted against his lips before letting out another muffled moan as she felt herself reach her own climax._

_They collapsed against the bed, and Elijah rolled off her before pulling the blanket on top of both of them as they both tried to regain their composure, both of them panting and gasping for breath._

_“That was ah-mazing,” she declared, letting out a long sigh. “Like… that was so good,” she added, turning to look at him fondly, reaching to cup his cheek._

_Elijah flushed, and averted his gaze, “it was, I must agree,” he admitted. Hayley just rolled her eyes and chuckled, and Elijah looked up to meet her gaze, flashing her a boyish grin before capturing her lips with his own._

Hayley blinked rapidly and shook her head, pushing the memory away. She’d just remembered her and Elijah having sex in a patient’s room simply because she was currently in Elijah’s hospital room. Just great.

“I am so screwed,” she muttered to herself, and squeezed her eyes shut briefly before opening them. And, her raging hormones didn’t help either. She need to distract herself somehow while she waited for Elijah. Because, she needed to wait for Elijah so they could finally talk and clear the air, or so she could get out everything she wanted to say to him. “Oh, for the love of God,” she muttered, shaking her head when she didn’t see anything that could distract her. His bedsheets smelled of him, minus the cologne, and would only lead her further down the memory lane. She most definitely did not need _that_. And then, she saw his phone and curiosity got the best for her.

She grabbed it and clicked the unlock button, and gasped upon seeing the lock screen. Hayley remembered Elijah’s lock screen and home screen photos until he left very well. His lock screen used to be a photo of herself dressed in nothing but one of his crisp, white shirts, though that one was a bit more rumpled, and she was sitting on his – their – bed, knees bent. She remembered that day now, a Saturday. It had been raining, which was relatively rare for New Orleans, and they’d both woken up early, though there hadn’t really been a reason for it since Hope was at Aiden and Josh’s. Elijah hadn’t gone to the gym that morning, and they’d spent a lazy morning together, kissing in bed in between bites of the breakfast Elijah had cooked. She remembered the moment Elijah had snapped the photo, after coming from the kitchen where he’d taken the remainder of their breakfast and he’d found her watching the rain. He’d said something, and she’d turned to flash him a lazy, amused smile and he’d snapped the photo, telling her she looked beautiful and he was loved her so much. And then, the photo appeared as his lock screen, and Hayley would catch him staring at it sometimes. Now, Hayley couldn’t help but wonder if he’d meant any of it. She shook her head, pushing the memory of that lazy Saturday morning away.

But, now, his lock screen was different. The photo of her replaced by one of Luke, because she was sure it was Luke, not Jonathan, resting his head on her shoulder, his dark brown eyes half-closed. He was about three months in it. Hayley couldn’t help but smile fondly at the photo, she loved that photo, and had it framed and placed on her nightstand. But, she couldn’t figure out why in the world Elijah would have it. And, she need to know. So, she pressed the home button and the keyboard appeared on the screen, asking for the passcode. [Before they had started dating, Elijah’s passcode had been Jonathan’s death anniversary, though Hayley hadn’t known what the 4 numbers had meant until Jonathan’s death anniversary. Or, well, that was when it had clicked. But, sometime after they’d started dating, Elijah had changed his passcode to their anniversary, which was their first dinner ‘date’ at the diner, not their actual first date. Hayley had found it cute]. So, she tried the four numbers 1-6-05 – May 16th – but no luck. Well, it kind of made sense. _Why would he still keep their unofficial anniversary as his passcode?_ So, instead, she tried her birthday, 0-6-0-6, but no, that was wrong, too. _The anniversary of their first actual date, maybe?_ She typed 3-1-0-5, but again, it was wrong. Hayley shook her head and sighed. Maybe his passcode had nothing to do with her, or their relationship. Of course. _Why would he do that after he left her?_ Hayley wracked her brain for what else Elijah could have used as his passcode, and the answer was obvious. Jonathan. So, Hayley quickly typed in Jonathan’s birthday, 2-0-0-9, but it turned out to be wrong. She typed his death anniversary, maybe Elijah had changed it back to that after leaving. But, 1-3-1-1 was also wrong. She knew for a fact the day would go first, then the month, a habit Elijah had probably picked up after studying in England for years, so that wasn’t an issue. She realized, with a sinking feeling, that she probably only had one more try left before the phone would be disabled. _C’mon, Hayley, think… Think! What could he have as his passcode?_ And then, something occurred to her. Luke. Since Elijah had one photo of Lucas, and Hayley hoped it was just one, maybe two, definitely at least three, he obviously knew when Lucas had been born, and that could very well be Elijah’s passcode. It was a long shot, but she was willing, and a little desperate to try. With trembling fingers, she typed 2-1-0-7 and finally the phone unlocked, revealing Elijah’s home screen. And, Hayley gasped upon seeing his home screen.

Before he left, Elijah’s home screen had been a photo of the two of them. If Hayley remembered correctly, it had been taken at one of Rebekah’s dinner parties, and the two of them had been on the balcony, admiring the view. And, making out like teenagers, as Rebekah had said when she’d snuck onto the balcony to snap a photo of them. But, the photo was cute and sweet, and both Hayley and Elijah loved it. They were hugging each other, his arms on her waist, hers resting loosely at the back of his neck, and Rebekah had captured them just as they finished kissing, and their foreheads were resting against each other, noses lightly rubbing together, and both of them were smiling. It was a beautiful photo, the lighting made even more stunning by the fairy lights strung all over Rebekah’s balcony. [It was so beautiful, Hayley had even framed it and put it on her nightstand at the apartment she shared with Hope]. But, that photo had been replaced.

Elijah’s current home screen was a photo taken at the beach, the sun shining brightly, and to Hayley’s surprise, it featured her and her three children. Hope and Nadia teasing each other and splashing water at each other, causing them to be mid-laughter in the photo, and a four-month-old Luke was resting on her hips, giggling, too, and Hayley was smiling as well. [She remembered that day now. It was before the end of her maternity leave, and she, the kids, plus Cami and Klaus had all gone down to Florida for some beach time. Cami had captured the photo on the beach, all of them laughing and looking so happy. Hayley was pretty sure Klaus was the reason Luke was smiling, too].

With trembling fingers, she went to his Photos and opened his Camera Roll album and let out a loud gasp. The last photo was a photo of all the Mikaelsons minus Mikael, Esther and Henrik at Christmas dinner a few days after Christmas, and Hayley swiped only to find one of herself, the kids and Klaus and Cami taken at Christmas dinner at her place. Hayley couldn’t comprehend how these photos had ended up on Elijah’s camera roll, but she quickly guessed that a Mikaelson sibling must have sent them to him. [The pictures had been shared on the Mikaelson family group chats]. She felt her pulse quicken and her heart hammered in her chest as she started swiping back and saw another photo, this time of Henrik and Nadia; it was a selfie they’d taken one of the times they’d hung out. She continued to swipe and stopped at the photo from Thanksgiving, the entire Mikaelson clan assembled in the middle of Rebekah’s living room, Klaus hoisting Hope on his shoulders, Nadia and Henrik beaming, arms wrapped around each other, and Hayley holding Luke in her arms as she stood between Cami and Rebekah. [The photo had been taken before Rebekah and Marcel’s big blowout, which meant that everyone was smiling and happy]. There were hundreds of photos, Hayley realized as she continued to swipe. Some of them marked some holiday or occasion like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, 4th of July, and others were simply photos by themselves. And, most of those featured Luke. Hayley felt her vision blur and tears prickled at her eyes as she swiped through the photos. Some of them featured her, too, and others included Nadia and Hope. She almost couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe that Elijah had all of these photos saved on his phone. She stopped at a photo of newborn Luke, mere hours after his birth, in his little basinet by her hospital bed. She remembered that, of course she did. Luke was dressed in a blue onesie, complete with blue socks and baby mittens and he had his eyes closed, his mouth forming an adorable baby pout. She sniffled and swiped to the next photo, and let out another gasp. This one featured her, too, barely a minute after Luke was born, and she was holding him. Luke was wrapped in a blanket just after the umbilical chord had been cut, and he was still a little red, but he wasn’t crying, just staring intently at her. And, even though Hayley knew his eye color would change, she’d known, even then, what color his eyes would be. Hayley remembered Luke’s birth, but the thing she remembered the most now was the fact that Elijah wasn’t there, that she’d had to do it all alone. Okay, not entirely alone since both Klaus and Cami were in there with her along with Freya and Eve, who was her doctor, but she had felt alone the entire time. In the entire year that Elijah had been gone, she hadn’t missed him as much as she did during Luke’s birth.

_“Gods, it hurts!” Hayley wailed as she felt another contraction hit her. “Goddammit, this fucking hurts!” she all but screamed. But, it wasn’t just the pain that was the issue. She was missing Elijah more than ever before. She wanted – no, needed – him here. But, the idiot had decided to run off and play G.I Joe. “Fuck.”_

_“Shh, love, it’s going to be alright,” Klaus said gently as Cami wiped her brow. Both of them had been there the entire time she’d been in labor, and so was Freya, who was taking advantage of her position in the OB department._

_“Okay, Hayley,” Eve said softly as she examined her, “you’re 10 centimeters dilated, so it’s time to push. Then, she turned to Klaus and Cami. “Okay, you two, thanks for being here, but one of you has to go,” she announced. The two glanced at each other before glancing at her._

_“Hayley?” Cami prompted in a kind voice._

_“I- oh, Gods, it hurts,” she groaned, gritting her teeth. “I want Elijah,” she said, and both Cami and Klaus looked sad._

_“Well, unfortunately, he isn’t here,” Klaus muttered quietly._

_“I know that!” she snapped. “Do you think I don’t know that? Trust me, I do. But, I miss him so much, damn it, and I want him here. He should be here. I’m about to give birth to our son. And, he should be here with me. Instead, he’s off playing G.I. Joe,” she huffed in annoyance._

_“Hayley, it’s time to push,” Eve said gently, though there was a hint of urgency in her voice._

_“I know that!” she snapped. Klaus and Cami looked at each other before Cami slipped out of the room._

_“Shh, it’s alright. I’m here, love,” Klaus said gently to her. “Just squeeze my hand, I’m here.”_

_Hayley shook her head, “I c- can’t- I can’t do this… I can’t do this, Klaus. He should be here, holding my hand. I need him here, damn it. I can’t do this alone,” she panted, her voice shaking._

_“Yes, you can,” Klaus told her. “I know I’m not the one you want here, but I am here,” he told her firmly, but gently. “And, I know you can do this. You are strong, Hayley Marshall. You can do this,” he said in a low whisper._

_“I- no, I can’t… Gods, how could he do this to me?” she wailed. “How could he leave me? Gods. What an ass- Gods, it hurts!” she screamed._

_“Hayley, you have to push!” Eve urged._

_“That he is,” Klaus quipped. “But, have you forgotten, love, that I’m an even bigger arse than my brother is? And, you have done this entirely alone, once?” he asked her in a snarky tone, and she couldn’t help but snort. “Look, Elijah may be AWOL playing G.I. Joe in some dessert somewhere like the idiot that he is, but I’m here. You are not alone. Not this time. For what it’s worth, I’m here,” he told her, and she nodded. “Now, take my hand, squeeze it as hard as you need to, and do as Dr. Lovett says,” he added. Again, she nodded._

_“Alright, Hayley. You ready to push?” Eve asked. Hayley nodded as Freya crossed over to her side._

_“I’m here, too,” the blonde whispered. “Us girls have to stick together, right?” Hayley just nodded._

_“Okay, Hayley, on the next contraction, push!” Eve yelled and just as the next contraction hit, Hayley forced herself to push. “C’mon, Hayley, push!” Eve continued to urge as Hayley continued to push, screaming at the top of her lungs._

_“Aargh! Ugh! Aargh!” she screamed, and panted, squeezing Klaus’ hand with all her might._

_“Keep pushing,” Eve urged._

_Hayley pushed and screamed and panted, squeezing Klaus’ hand. And, sometimes, she wavered, “I can’t- I can’t do this,” she cried._

_“Yes, you can,” Klaus said softly. “You can do this, Hayley. You can. Just push,” he urged her as Freya wiped her brow. “You can do this.”_

_Hayley wasn’t sure how long it lasted, the pushing and screaming and panting, but finally Eve shouted that she could see the head._

_“I see the head! He’s crowning,” she yelled and Freya moved from Hayley’s side to Eve’s. Klaus, too, peered over._

_“Hey, you!” she snapped, causing him to look back at her. “Don’t you dare look at my vagina! You’ve seen it once, that was enough!” she glared at him, and he chuckled._

_“Okay, Hayley, one more big push!” Eve urged, and Hayley forced herself to push with all her might. “One more! One more big push!” Again, Hayley pushed as hard as she could and felt it, felt the baby out. She heard sighs of relief, felt Eve and the other doctors and midwives prod. Someone took the baby, but it was silent for a second, and Hayley held her breath. Oh Gods._

_“N- no… oh Gods-” she choked back a sob, her eyes filling with tears, her heart hammering in her chest. No, she couldn’t do this. This couldn’t be happening. Just then, a cry filled the room and everyone breathed out a collective sigh of relief._

_“There he is!” Freya exclaimed cheerfully as the baby cried. A nurse went over to Freya and Hayley watched as they fumbled to wrap the baby before Freya came and placed him in her arms. And, as the baby opened his eyes and stared intently into hers, Hayley couldn’t help but fall in love with her baby. He was absolutely perfect. He was hers, and he was perfect. And, it had all been worth it._

_“Hey there, little guy,” Klaus cooed softly as he nursed the hand she’d been squeezing. “I think you broke my hand, woman,” he grumbled to her, but he didn’t sound angry at all._

_“Oh, shut up, Klaus. It’s good practice for when it’s Cami’s turn,” she quipped. Klaus just smiled sheepishly._

_“Well, congratulations,” he told her, kissing the side of her head. “He’s perfect.”_

_“He is,” she agreed, smiling._

_“He looks a lot like-” Klaus started to comment, but Hayley felt a pang of guilt._

_“I know,” she said softly. “I know.”_

_“What’s his name?” Freya asked as she stood there, holding her phone, taking pictures._

_“Lucas,” Hayley said simply. “His name is Lucas. Lucas Elijah Mikaelson.” Both Klaus and Freya grinned. Freya handed the phone to Klaus before taking Luke._

_“Time for the APGAR,” she muttered as she took him over to the basinet. A few moments later, she announced, “perfect score. He is a Mikaelson, after all.”_

_Klaus winked and Hayley cried with relief._

And now, tears spilled over her cheeks as she pulled herself out of the memory, though she was still staring at the photo. The photo Freya had taken of her holding her perfect newborn son, Klaus hovering, barely visible, in the background. And, the photo that Elijah had.

Just then, the door opened, and Hayley looked up to find Elijah rolling himself in a wheelchair into the room. Saying he looked shocked to see her, would have been an understatement.

“H- Hayley…” he finally managed to say. “Wh- what are you doing here?”

* * *

**Post-Op Day 8**

Elijah had just finished another tiring PT session and wheeled himself back to his room, refusing Antoinette’s help. He could manage just fine on his own, his motion range was already getting better. It still hurt, and sometimes he had to stop and pause, but he could do it himself. When he arrived, one of the nurses on the floor glanced at him nervously as she opened the door.

“Someone’s waiting for you,” she told him.

“Someone?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Attending. Not one of your doctors. Really bossy. Haven’t met her before,” she informed him.

He just shrugged. _It couldn’t possibly be that bad,_ he told himself as he wheeled himself in. And, stopped because he came face to face with Hayley Marshall. Who, was holding his phone and trying to keep from crying. Elijah froze and his heart leapt in his throat. For a minute, neither of them said anything and just stared at each other. Hayley reached to wipe a few tears away, and Elijah felt his chest constrict painfully. He’d always hated seeing her cry, but he hated the fact that he was the reason for her tears even more.

“H- Hayley…” he finally managed to say, stumbling over his words. “Wh- what are you doing here?”

“I-” she cut herself off and sniffled. Elijah wanted to run to her and take her into his arms, offer her comfort, but he physically couldn’t do that. And, even if he attempted to roll himself closer to her in order to offer some comfort, he was probably the last person she wanted to be comforted by.

“And, what are you doing with my phone?” he asked, having regained the ability to speak. But, apparently so did Hayley. And, she was furious. And, he deserved it. All of it. Whatever came next.

“The better question, Elijah,” she practically growled, “is what the hell are these pictures of my son doing on your phone?”

Elijah flinched at that. “Our son,” he bit back.

Hayley raised an eyebrow, “really? Because I hadn’t noticed,” she remarked sarcastically. “What with you being off playing G.I. Joe since before he was even born!” she snapped, and Elijah could only swallow, filled with guilt, because while it hurt to hear it, she was telling the truth.

“Hayley, listen, I know-” he started to say, to explain, to apologize, but she cut him off, obviously not wanting to hear his arguments.

“No, you don’t know, actually,” she said sharply. “Neither do I. I don’t know anything, do I? I don’t know anything about you, about our relationship, because if I did-”

This time, he cut her off, “that isn’t true, and you know it,” he said, trying to keep his own tone calm.

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I did know you. But, I certainly don’t anymore. I haven’t for a while,” she said, sighing in defeat. For a few seconds, they both remained silent, neither of them saying anything despite the many things Elijah wanted to say.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said sadly. When Hayley didn’t say anything, he continued, “I am truly so deeply sorry for,” he paused and took a deep breath, “for everything. For all the ways I’ve hurt you, for abandoning you, for-”

But, Hayley cut him off, “I don’t need you to be sorry, Elijah!” she snapped angrily, though he could hear the hurt in her voice, could see the tear tracks on her cheeks, her red-rimmed eyes, and the pain was so obvious, so raw, he felt like he might collapse from it. Which was impossible, of course, since he was still sitting in the wheel chair, but still. Hayley continued, “I don’t need you to be anything. No, actually, I don’t need to be anything _anymore_ ,” she yelled, her voice cracking slightly. Elijah didn’t say anything because obviously she needed to say this, and nothing he could say was going to fix it, so he decided to just take it. “I did need you, before. I needed you when I was pregnant. I needed you at ultrasounds. I needed you when I was shopping for all these things he needed. Because we were meant to do it together. But, most of all,” she paused, and sniffled, “I needed you in that delivery room, Elijah! I needed you to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay!” she shouted almost hysterically.

“I-” he paused, gulping, but she ignored him and kept going.

“I needed you, but you weren’t there,” she said, her voice quieter this time, but the lowered tone gave way to the brokenness in it. Elijah flinched, and felt another wave of guilt crash into him. Hayley was barely keeping her tears at bay, and her lower lip quivered, and it pained him. “And, it wasn’t just me. We both needed you. But, you weren’t there,” she whispered brokenly. She sniffled, “what’s really ironic is that a year and a half ago, you got into a fistfight with Klaus in the middle of the hospital over him abandoning me while I was pregnant with _his_ baby,” she said and he shut his eyes briefly before opening them and facing her again. This was what he deserved. To know how much he had hurt her. “And then, you turned around a few months later and did the exact same thing. I’d say that you’re no better than he is, except you're actually worse. At least Klaus was honest about what the sex was about. You’re the one who pretended to love me to get me into bed, then abandoned me when faced with the consequences!” she finished, and Elijah flinched, again. The words felt like a knife being twisted in his chest, and it hurt like hell.

“Hayley, you must know that it wasn’t like that-” he said in an attempt to make it better, to fix it, to tell her that it wasn’t true. He loved her. Of course, he loved her. The idea that she thought he pretended to love her only to get into her pants was absurd and it sickened him.

“Really?!” she snapped, choking back a sob. “Just don’t, Elijah. Don’t try to fix it, to tell me in all your nice and eloquent ways that you did love me. You didn’t. Because you don’t abandon the people you love. The mother of your child. You don’t do that,” she shook her head in disbelief. “And, really, I’m mad at myself, too. How could I fall for it not once, but twice? Just don’t, Elijah,” she whispered, sounding so broken it made Elijah hate himself even more if possible.

“Hayley, please,” he tried in a pleading tone, but she didn’t let him.

“No. Just don’t. I’m done here. It’s over. We’re done,” she said, shaking her head vehemently. “Goodbye, Elijah,” she added sadly. 

But, Elijah didn’t want to let her walk away, he couldn’t. So, he stood up, his uninjured leg shaking unstably, and reached for her, causing her to whirl around.

“What?” she snapped. “What the hell do you want?”

“Hayley, please, I just want to talk,” he begged. “Let’s just- please, let’s just talk,” he said in a pleading tone.

“Talk? What else could we possibly talk about?” she all but screamed. “What could you possibly say to fix this, huh? You left me! You. Left. Me!” she cried, tears spilling down her cheeks, and wrenched her arm out of his grasp. And then, she drew her hand back and threw something at him, and he felt it hit his chest, but he didn’t react to catch it.

It was only after Hayley slammed the door behind her that Elijah realized what it was when he looked down and saw it on the tile floor. It was the ring. The promise ring. His promise ring.

He all but collapsed into the wheelchair.

* * *

Elijah didn’t know how he ended up in bed, though he guessed that some of the nurses came in and helped him. But, here he was, in his hospital bed staring into space and trying to pretend like his heart hadn’t just broken into a million pieces. He knew he had deserved it, Hayley’s anger, blaming him for everything, but it still hurt. His eyes burned with unshed tears, but he wasn’t about to break. Not again.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he didn’t really care. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything, and he was only vaguely aware of being brought food, but he barely ate any of it. So, he just lay in bed and stared at nothing in particular, feeling empty. Hayley’s words from earlier continued to linger in his mind, and part of Elijah wished he’d said something, but at the time he couldn’t. And, he also deserved it all, so the best thing to do was to take it.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t alone for long because the door to his hospital room was soon opened and his brother, Niklaus, entered the room.

“Ah, brother!” Niklaus exclaimed. “You’re awake. Good,” he said as he strode over to his bed.

“Niklaus, hello,” he said by way of greeting, but his voice sounded strangely hollow. “What are you doing here?”

His brother grinned, “what? I can’t drop by to visit my favorite, slightly crippled brother?” he quipped with small smirk.

“How nice of you,” he deadpanned. Niklaus just chuckled in amusement.

There was a pregnant pause as neither of them said anything for a while until his brother finally cleared his throat and broke the silence. “Hayley came to visit you.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement and Elijah felt his stomach twist in knots and his throat tighten. So, he just nodded.

“She looked like she’d been crying, you know,” Niklaus muttered after a few more moments of silence. Elijah didn’t say anything, but averted his gaze. “So, I see you two talked,” he added with a heavy sigh. Elijah said nothing.

Elijah forced himself to lift his gaze and look at his brother once again, “what do you want, Niklaus?” he snapped, though he kept his voice calm.

His brother didn’t reply, not at first anyways. After a few moments, he shook his head in exasperation and let out a heavy sigh. “You know, brother,” he drawled, “there have been many times in the past year that I’ve considered fratricide,” he stated, and despite his even tone, Elijah could hear the snark behind it.

“Oh, wow, Niklaus,” he muttered drily. “’Fratricide’. What a big word, I’m proud of your vocabulary achievements,” he quipped sarcastically.

“Oh come off it!” Niklaus retorted, glaring at him. “What the bloody hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you, brother?” he demanded, his eyes wide. “You’re the one who came in here going on about ‘fratricide’ of all things. I mean, honestly, Niklaus,” he let out an exasperated sigh. “If this is your idea of a lecture, you’re failing miserably,” he remarked. “So, why did you come here?”

“I’ve come in here because I saw Hayley crying, and she was coming from this recovery wing!” the other man snapped. “Didn’t take a genius to know _why_ she was crying since it wouldn’t be the first time,” he added, his tone filled with disgust, and Elijah flinched, filled with self-loathing. No, unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time he’d made her cry. Niklaus shook his head again, “especially this past year,” he sighed. “You know, there were so many times she just… cried in the past year, mostly before Luke was born. And, I’ll never forget her broken voice when she cried during his delivery.”

Elijah’s eyes widened and he swallowed thickly, “I-” he cut himself off, at a loss for words.

“She cried for you, you bloody idiot! Or, well, because of you,” Niklaus began to pace as Elijah just watched him. “Because you left her! Because you abandoned her!” he snapped and Elijah flinched, and opened his mouth to say something, but Niklaus continued. “And, I thought you were better than that! We all did. But, you disappointed us-”

“Yes, so I’ve been told what a disappointment I am. Thank you for clearing that up,” he muttered wryly, covering up the flash of hurt he felt, the reminder of his father’s words at Thanksgiving before everything went to hell. _You are my biggest disappointment, Elijah. You are weak. And, you are a failure._ Elijah shook his head, and pushed the memory away. He could not, would not remember that night, and his father’s words.

His brother sighed heavily, “you did something worse than even I did. And, what I did to her when she found out she was pregnant with Hope was pretty bad. But, I was an idiot womanizer with daddy issues and you’re- you were her boyfriend and love of her life. So, you can understand how there is a difference, here.” He wasn’t shouting anymore, but he was obviously still angry. “Look, I understand that fatherhood is scary, but running away isn’t the solution, Elijah!”

“Really, Niklaus? ‘Fatherhood is scary’? This is me you’re talking to!” he snapped, and this time it was his brother who swallowed thickly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive about that,” Niklaus apologized, looking down. Then, he looked at him once more. “But, I- I don’t know why else you did what you did! Honestly, Elijah, for the life of me I just don’t get it!”

“I- I was just-” he stuttered, unable to form coherent words and swallowed thickly, his throat tight.

“Why else would you run? Because you ran, Elijah Mikaelson!” he snapped. “You didn’t just leave, you ran! Like a coward,” he practically growled. “But, that’s what you are. You’re a bloody coward and you should be ashamed of yourself and what you did to the woman you loved!” And, with a look of disgust in his direction, his brother turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.


	6. Right Where You Left Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Hayley and Elijah's conversation. Hayley and Cami go out as Hayley tries to cope with the feelings that have resurfaced. Later, Hayley tries to move on.

Hayley slammed the door behind her, but didn’t stop. She didn’t stop when the nurses asked if something was wrong, when some intern or resident made a comment.

“Don’t you have a job to do?” she snapped angrily at them before continuing to walk, half-running, away from the hallway, from the recovery wing, from _Elijah_.

She just need to get away, as far away as possible from him. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think, her heart hammered in her chest and her eyes burned with tears, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t stop until she was far enough away from that hallway, from him, and finally she stopped at a supply closet. After opening the door, her hands shaking, and checking it was empty, she entered and closed the door behind her before collapsing against said door as tears spilled down her cheeks and she let out a choked sob. Slowly, she lowered herself to the floor, her back resting against the door as tears continued to stream down her face and she put her face in her hands and started to cry, her pained sobs muffled by her hands. 

“Damn you, Elijah Mikaelson!” she practically screamed. “Damn you!” she sobbed, but it was a rage-filled cry. But, the anger was good. The anger, she could deal with. What she couldn’t deal with was the heartbreak she felt deep down, the guilt and regret she couldn’t bear to admit to herself, even. As she cried, her mind drifted back to that night a little more than a year ago when Elijah Mikaelson broke her heart for the very first time and left her.

_After the door had slammed, she had stood there for a long time. She didn’t even know how long, but she knew it was a while. She’d just stood there, right where he’d left her and cried, clammy hands clutching at her stomach. She was… numb. That was the only way to put it. She couldn’t feel, or hear, or speak, or move. She couldn’t do anything. All she could do was stand there and cry. Although, at some point, she did manage to make her way to the couch, where she sat frozen, her eyes trained on the door as if waiting for Elijah to come in and apologize and take her into his arms and never let her go. But, he didn’t, and minutes and hours passed, and eventually, Hayley’s sobs subsided. Sniffling, she fumbled blindly for her phone before she finally grabbed it. Her vision was blurry and she wiped her eyes before scrolling through her recents calls. So many were to Elijah, or from him. Finally, she stopped on Cami, and her finger hovered above it for a second before she clicked on it._

_She took a deep breath, and brought her phone to her ear, and waited, sniffling._

_Cami answered on the fifth ring, groggy with sleep, “H- Hayley? It’s 4am, wh- what’s going on?” she asked, her voice hoarse._

_“He left me,” Hayley whispered brokenly and sniffled._

_“Left you? Who left you?” Cami demanded and Hayley could also hear whispers, probably Klaus._

_“Elijah,” she said, her voice breaking. “Elijah left me,” she almost sobbed. “I told him I’m pregnant and he left me. He’s going back to the army. He just- he left me,” she whispered, her own voice hoarse from crying. “He left me, Cami!” she sobbed._

_“Oh my God!” Cami exclaimed. “Are you- never mind. I’ll be at yours in 5,” she said, and Hayley heard some more whispering and shuffling on the other end. “Fucking bastard!” Klaus hissed. “Ow!” he exclaimed when Cami swatted at him. “Not helping!” Cami yelled, followed by more shuffling. “Hayley? You still there?”_

_“Yeah,” she let out a small whimper._

_“Okay. I will be right there. Don’t move!” Cami said before hanging up._

_Hayley just nodded numbly and dropped the phone on the couch, and continued to sit there until Cami arrived._

“Damn you, Elijah Mikaelson!” she growled and kicked at something with her leg, resulting in a loud rattling sound. It felt good, a brief release of her anger. Her phone pinged with a page, and she jumped slightly as she pulled it out. It was the E.R. Well, she’d cried and moped long enough. She had a job to get back to. Slowly, she stood up, and opened the door before going to the nearest bathroom where she washed her face as much as she could, though it was still red and blotchy, her eyes red rimmed. Her phone pinged again, reminding her she had no time to waste on going to the attendings’ lounge to grab her makeup bag, so she headed straight for the E.R.

But, just her luck, she ran right into the last person she wanted to see. Klaus. He didn’t hesitate to pull her into a corner, his expression one of concern.

“You know, people are going to start getting ideas,” she joked, letting out a small, pathetic chuckle.

“Now’s not the time for your sass, Hayley. What’s wrong? Why do you look like you’ve been crying?” he asked her in a gentle but firm voice like he was talking to a child.

“I’m fine,” she said, pursing her lips. “Honestly, I’m fine,” she repeated, trying to sound convincing, but Klaus obviously didn’t believe her.

“Is it because of E-” he started to ask, still keeping his grip on her upper arm, but he was interrupted by her phone pinging for a third time.

“It’s the E.R.,” she told him. “I have to go,” she said, and pulled away.

“Hayley, can we please just talk?” he asked her, but she shook her head.

“Nope because we don’t have to. There’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine, Klaus. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you later,” she told him with a huff before starting to run to the stairs, not even bothering with the elevators.

* * *

The E.R. was abuzz, which didn’t surprise Hayley. There rarely was a quiet day in the E.R. at St. John’s Memorial, it being a Level 1 trauma center after all, but Hayley was grateful for it. With a busy E.R., it meant Hayley’s mind would stay firmly on work and far away from Elijah.

“Jo!” she yelled as she jogged over to the nurses’ station, hair haphazardly pulled into a bun. “You paged?”

“I did,” the Head of Trauma and E.R. said with a smile, but her smile soon fell upon seeing Hayley. “But, now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have. Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying,” she told her.

Hayley shook her head immediately, “I’m fine, Jo. Honestly, I’m okay,” she said, plastering on a reassuring smile.

“Are you sure?” Jo raised an eyebrow in concern. “Do you want the day off?”

“No! Yes!” she exclaimed quickly, then shook her head again. “I mean, yes I’m sure. I’m fine. No, I don’t want the day off. I’m good to work, so put me in coach,” she said firmly.

Jo nodded in understanding, “okay. Well, there is an incoming, so off you go. And, grab an intern or resident! Lockwood over there looks way too relaxed,” she told her and Hayley chuckled as she glanced where Jo was pointing where Lockwood was talking to poor Liv who was doing her best to ignore him. Hayley immediately went over to him.

“Lockwood, you’re with me!” she ordered.

“Erm, yeah… yeah, uh, sure,” the resident stuttered as he scrambled to his feet while Liv smirked in amusement.

“We’ve got an incoming, ETA 4 minutes,” she added as she led him to the trauma gown, and he tried to keep up with her as she quickly hung her lab coat and put on her trauma gown, tying it quickly.

About 4 minutes later, an ambulance screeched to a halt, and both Hayley and Tyler rushed over.

The doors of the ambulance opened to reveal Davina, who hopped down before pulling the patient out, and Hayley sucked in a breath. The patient was covered in burns and soot, an oxygen mask on her face, her shirt ripped open, exposing her chest.

“Charlotte Gray, thirty-four. Five-alarm house fire, she got hit by the flashover, didn’t manage to evacuate her in time,” she said, and Hayley could see a hint of regret in her expression. “GCS 10, but lost BP is 80 over 40, pretty sure she’s in shock,” she reported.

Hayley nodded, “okay, let’s take her inside,” she said, and they rolled her in. “Take her to trauma 3 and page Dr. de Martel!” she ordered.

“Okay, let’s hook her up to monitors, start two large bore IVs,” she barked as she grabbed the chart. “And, page Dr. Parker! Liv!” she added as Lockwood struggled to get the IV in.

“No IV access,” Lockwood proclaimed after a bit more struggling just as Liv entered the trauma room.

“Okay, let’s prep for an escharotomy,” she said. “Push lido and give me 6.5 gloves!”

“How come the paramedics didn’t do the escharotomy?” Lockwood asked as the nurse gloved Hayley. “You’d think they’d have done it, but nope, just pawn her off on us,” he grumbled.

“Because it wasn’t our patient initially!” Davina snapped, and Hayley glanced over to find the brunette standing there. “Another station took her, but their Aid Car broke down, so we had to take her. But, we didn’t think to perform an escharotomy in the rig,” she added, glaring at Lockwood.

“Thanks, Davina,” Hayley nodded. “Lockwood, unless you have something medical to say about our patient’s medical condition, keep your mouth shut!” Then, she turned to the nurse, “scalpel, please.” The nurse handed her a scalpel, and Hayley nodded.

Hayley took a deep breath, braced herself and positioned before making the incision, blood gushing out.

“Okay, perfusion is improving!” Liv declared just as the doors opened to reveal none other than Tristan de Martel, head of plastics and pompous asshole.

“Let’s pack this!” Hayley ordered. She glanced at Tristan, “ah, Dr. de Martel, thank you for finally joining us,” she remarked drily.

“I see you’ve already gotten started Dr. Marshall,” he drawled, a smug smirk on his face. Hayley shuddered.

“Well, was I supposed to let my patient die or wait for you to get here?” she retorted. “But, please, go ahead and join us.”

Tristan hummed as he looked at the patient, “you are a gifted surgeon, Dr. Marshall,” he murmured.

“Nice try,” she muttered, ignoring him.

“Alright, let’s start debriding the burns. And, start fluids, too!” Tristan ordered, and Hayley nodded. They worked in silence until the patient was stable before Hayley left the room, leaving Tristan with the two residents to deal with the patient.

As she leaned against the nurses’ desk, Cami came to stand beside her.

“Hey, you,” her best friend greeted her with a smile.

“Hey,” Hayley muttered with a huff.

“Uh oh. What’s wrong?” the blonde asked her, her expression filled with concern.

“Tristan de Martel is what happened,” she grumbled as she typed furiously in the chart.

“You poor thing,” Cami murmured, patting her shoulder in comfort. “Hey, why don’t we go get drinks? Klaus can babysit the kids and you and I can have some girl time,” she suggested.

Hayley considered it for a second, then agreed. “Sure, let’s do it,” she said with a smile, her mood instantly improving.

* * *

After providing Klaus with extensive instructions on how to take care of Luke as well as reminding him to call her or Nadia or anything, Hayley left her place and got in the taxi that she’d ordered to pick her up. More like Klaus shoved her out her door after her extensive instructions and worried rambling got on his nerves, but that hardly mattered. In any case, she was now in a taxi and on her way to Russeau’s to meet up with Cami.

She arrived at Russeau’s soon enough, and Cami was already waiting for her, sitting by the bar, two glasses of white wine in front of her. Hayley quickly made her way to her, pushing past the people around her.

“Hey you!” the blonde exclaimed, standing up to hug her, the two of them exchanging eager cheek kisses.

“Cami! Hi!” she said by way of greeting as she hugged her best friend tightly, kissing her cheek. “How are you?”

Cami shrugged as they both took a sip of their wine, “good, keeping busy. Planning a wedding and all that,” she said with a smile.

“And, how is that going? Any maid-of-honor duties I’ve shirked?” she asked, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. [In all honesty, she’d barely had to perform any maid-of-honor duties Cami might have asked for her, which was why the blonde hadn’t requested more than a few shopping trips, fully aware of how busy Hayley was].

“Oh, you know you haven’t! Your big one’s the bachelorette party, and obviously you have to come with to pick out the bridesmaids’ dresses, but you’ve been a great maid-of-honor so far,” Cami said, grinning mischievously as she held out her glass.

Hayley clinked hers, “so far,” she quipped, grinning. “Let’s revisit the conversation in a month,” she suggested.

Cami just chuckled lightly, “so, how is Luke? He’s almost six months, right?”

“Growing every day,” Hayley said with an easy smile. “He’s so smart, and so funny! He’s always such a happy kid!” she gushed before delving into a recounting of Luke’s latest developments. She showed Cami a few pictures and the blonde gushed and cooed along with her. “Wait ‘til you and Klaus have your kids,” Hayley added with a smirk.

“Oh God, not you, too!” Cami groaned, causing Hayley to raise a curious eyebrow at her. Cami took another sip of her wine, “mm, don’t get me wrong, I want kids of my own, but I’m getting tired of the innuendos and comments from residents and nurses about me and Klaus procreating!” she groaned before taking another sip.

Hayley took another sip, too, “you poor thing,” she cooed mockingly. “I totally get it, though. I mean, I was subjected to the same gossip when I was married to Jackson, and since that was a small town…” she trailed off and took another sip, shaking her head and trying to push away those memories, but Cami knew what she meant. “And, well, I’m pretty sure the nurses were whispering last year, too, when I was-” she paused, biting her lip.

Cami finished for her, “it’s no fun for sure,” she rolled her eyes. “So,” she drawled after another sip, “have you seen him? Elijah?”

Hayley stiffened at the mere mention of his name and sighed heavily before taking another sip of her wine, finishing it.

“Should we order more drinks? Maybe something stronger like tequila or a cocktail?” Cami asked quickly, sensing Hayley’s unease.

“Tequila, then cocktails,” Hayley replied gratefully, and Cami quickly gestured for the bartender, ordering tequila doubles while Hayley glanced at the bar menu, trying to decide on a cocktail.

“I’ll go for a Margarita,” Cami said before nudging her lightly.

“I’ll have the Pornstar Martini,” she said decidedly. The bartender nodded before handing them both two shot glasses of tequila with slices of lime and salt on the side. While Cami sprinkled salt on her hand, Hayley just grabbed the shot glass. Cami raised an eyebrow. “I just drink it like this,” she said with an amused grin.

“Suit yourself,” Cami shrugged. “Ready? Bottom’s up,” she said and they quickly downed the shots, the strong alcohol burning her throat. “So,” Cami said again, dragging the word. “Elijah. I know you’ve seen him,” she said, no longer asking.

“How?” she asked, though she was dreading the answer slightly.

“Klaus,” Cami said simply, shrugging again. “He said he saw you earlier coming out of the recovery wing. The recovery wing Elijah happens to be in,” she said, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Damn it,” Hayley cursed under her breath which only caused Cami to full-on smirk.

“Ha!” the blonde exclaimed, “I knew it,” she said. Then, she sobered up just as they cocktails arrived, and after Hayley poured the shot of champagne into her Pornstar Martini, they clinked their glasses before taking a sip. “He also said you looked like you’d been crying,” she said, her triumphant smirk turning into a sad smile.

Hayley sighed as she took another sip, “I- we talked,” she finally said, though ‘talk’ was a very loose term. Cami clearly sensed as much, and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, maybe ‘talk’ is not the right word for it. It was more like I was yelling and he-” she paused and took another sip, “he tried to apologize. Not that any apology of his is going to fix this,” she said tersely.

“You were yelling,” Cami said slowly. “About what? Not that Elijah doesn’t deserve to be yelled at, believe me I’d probably do it myself,” she said with a small grin. Hayley snorted, almost spitting out her drink. “What? You’re my best friend and he broke your heart. Worse than that, he abandoned you while you were pregnant with his child. Actually, right when you told him you were pregnant with his child. So, he most definitely deserves being yelled at. I’m just curious as to why _you_ were yelling.”

“Okay, point taken,” Hayley said with a small smile. “And, do you really have to ask? I’d say I’m the one with the biggest reason to yell at him,” she said, ‘but’ clearly implied, hanging in the air.

“But?” Cami quipped, clearly reading her mind.

“But, I just- I didn’t expect to feel so awful afterwards, Cami. Suddenly, all the feelings I’d been keeping at bay over the past year were brought to the surface. I wasn’t just angry. I was-”

“Hurt, heartbroken, humiliated to name just a few?” Cami guessed knowingly. Hayley hated how well the blonde knew her, but they were best friends after all. [Hayley just hadn’t had many of those, lately]. “And, you know very well that bottling up your feelings never leads anywhere good,” she added with a self-satisfied smirk. Cami: 1; Hayley: 0.

“Yeah,” she sighed before taking another sip. “Did you know he has pictures?” she said after a while, finally admitting as to what had really hurt and bothered her the most.

“Pictures? You mean, like, photos?” Cami wondered, her curiosity piqued.

“Yes! Photos. Hundreds of them,” she exclaimed.

“Of what? Or whom?”

Hayley took another sip, and finished her drink, then ordered another. “Of me,” she finally said, her voice a little hoarse. “And, the girls. Some of the whole family. But, most of them are of… of Luke,” she whispered.

“Oh,” Cami muttered and took another sip of her own drink. “I’m assuming you didn’t send them,” she said.

Hayley nodded, “yup,” she muttered, popping the ‘p’. “He said Henrik sent them,” she explained.

“That does make sense,” Cami nodded slowly. “I mean, knowing the others chose not to talk to him after he left you and cut you off. So, obviously, they didn’t send the pictures.”

“Though, how did Henrik get them?”

“The big family group chat,” Cami shrugged like it was obvious.

“You’re right, that’s probably it. Damn it,” she cursed just as her drink arrived. While she busied herself pouring the shot of champagne, Cami ordered another before finishing her drink.

“He even used them as his lock screen and home screen, can you believe it?” she said, a barely concealed hint of irritation in her voice. “One with me and the kids when we went to Florida, remember that?” Cami nodded. “That’s his home screen,” Hayley gritted her teeth. “Then, the black and white one of Luke in my arms is his lock screen,” she said and pulled her own phone out, holding it out so Cami would see. That same photo, the one that was Elijah’s lock screen, also happened to be her own lock screen. “You know how I love that photo!” she burst out. Cami just hummed in response and rubbed her arm in a comforting manner.

“It’s a sweet photo,” the blonde mused.

“It is. But, why does he have it?” she snapped, though not so loudly other people except for the bartender would hear her. Not that any of them paid her any mind.

Cami just shrugged, “well, Henrik sent that one, too, right?” she quipped.

“Probably,” Hayley sighed sadly. “But, why- I just- what _right_ does he have to use that photo as his lock screen?”

Cami just sighed and took a lazy sip of her drink. “Hayley,” she said softly, “I don’t think you’re pissed about that. Not exactly, at least.”

“Then what am I pissed about, Cami?” she shot back. She knew she shouldn’t be taking this out on her best friend, but she couldn’t keep it in anymore. Gods, she was _so_ angry, practically enraged at him, and she could feel it course through her like fire. _How could he? How could he do this?_

“You’re not pissed about that one picture. You’re pissed about all of them,” Cami said slowly, her tone even. “You’re angry about the fact that he has all of those pictures in the first place, that he kept those pictures, but he still didn’t try to reach out to you, to get back in touch with you. That’s what you’re actually angry about, not the fact that he used your favorite picture as his lock screen, although I do think that’s an interesting coincidence,” she said and Hayley hated how right she was. _This is the downside to your best friend having a psych degree_ , she thought. 

“I-” she started to say, then paused to take another sip of her drink, “I wish I had never met him,” she finally said. Cami’s eyes widened, but she didn’t interrupt her. “I do. I wish I never met him, Cami. I wish-” she sucked in a deep breath, “I wish I never laid eyes on him. I wish we never met,” she repeated, her voice filled with conviction. “Because if we never met, we- I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him. And, he wouldn’t have fallen in love with me. And, if we never fell for each other, if I-” she paused, her voice now thick with emotion, and she took another sip before continuing. “If I had never fallen in love with him, then it wouldn’t hurt so much,” she admitted, her voice breaking, and she choked back a sob before taking another sip of her drink. She sniffled, “I- I used to think he was the best thing that happened to me. I used to think that falling in love with him, loving him was the best thing that happened to me. I was wrong,” she wiped at her eyes. “It was the _worst_ thing that happened to me. Loving him. Because loving him gave him the power to hurt me beyond measure, more than anyone could ever hurt me…” she trailed off and sniffled again before downing her drink and asking for another. She was starting to feel slightly buzzed, not quite tipsy, but not sober, and it felt strangely freeing.

“More than Jackson?” Cami asked bluntly, cutting her off. Hayley flinched, and Cami’s expression became instantly apologetic. “I’m sorry for bringing him up, but Hayley, sweetie, how could what Elijah did, which was hurtful and broke your heart, yes, how could it be worse than what Jackson did?”

“Because I never loved Jackson,” she said, not missing a beat. “But, I loved Elijah Mikaelson with my whole heart. He was the first person I ever loved like that, the first person I was ever in love with. And, he ruined me. Broke my heart, forever. I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love with someone like that, ever again,” she said before taking another sip.

Cami just patted her lightly and muttered, “oh, honey,” as she took a sip of her own drink.

“And, I don’t want to. I don’t want to fall in love like this, this deeply… I don’t want this all-consuming kind of love-at-first-sight,” she said, rambling slightly, her voice thick with emotion. “Because this kind of love only leads to pain, and hurt, and heartbreak, and broken promises…” she shook her head and absently rubbed her left index finger with her thumb.

“You’re not wearing the ring? You never go without it,” Cami looked at her curiously, and a little suspiciously.

Hayley averted her gaze sheepishly, “I may have… thrown it… at… him?” she finally said, though it sounded more like a question. Cami snorted before taking a sip of her own drink, finishing it. Hayley finished her own, too.

“Okay, I’m gonna need to use the restroom,” Cami said, and stood up, stumbling slightly.

“Need me to go with you?”

“Nah, I’m good. You wait here,” the blonde said with a smile and headed to the bathroom, flashing Hayley a quick smile.

Now alone, Hayley ordered herself and Cami another drink and pulled out her phone, scrolling through it lazily. There was a message from Klaus: _All is well, love. Quit fretting. Kids are fed and in bed_ it read and Hayley noticed that she’d sent him a few messages asking for an update.

_Good, thx_ she typed back in reply. The bartender slid her next drink over to her and she sipped on it as she swiped on her phone. Her finger hovered over a name. Elijah’s name. Finally, she clicked it and put the phone to her ear.

But, she hadn’t expected him to answer. He picked up on the second to last ring.

“Hayley?” he said by way of greeting, his voice hoarse and groggy with sleep. Hayley opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out, so she took another sip of her drink. “Hayley?” he repeated, his voice gentle, but there was a hint of apprehension in it.

“I-” she cut herself off, sniffling.

“Are you- are you there?”

“Y- yes. Yeah, I’m here,” she finally managed, her own voice quiet and breathless. “Hi,” she mumbled.

“Hi,” he said. 

“How- how are you feeling?” she asked softly.

“I’m… okay, I suppose. How are you? Are you okay?”

“Yup!” she replied, a little too quickly. “I’m good,” she giggled.

“Are you drunk?”

“No! Yes. Maybe? A little. More like tipsy. Drunky?” she giggled again and took another sip.

“Are you alone?”

“Nope! I’m with Cami,” she said, sounding like a teenager with a crush. “She’s in the bathroom. Probably calling Klaus.”

“Ah. I see,” he hummed. “So,” he drawled after a few minutes, “you’re calling me.”

“I’m calling you,” she confirmed, nodding, though he couldn’t see her.

“I have to admit I’m surprised,” he confessed, and she could practically see the crease forming between his eyebrows.

There was a pregnant pause before she spoke. “I don’t actually know why I’m calling you,” she blurted out, and took another sip of her martini. “Or, maybe I do. Cami and I, uh, we were just talking about you,” she admitted.

“Oh?” he hummed, and she could hear the curiosity in his voice.

“I- you hurt me, Elijah,” she finally said, her own voice rough, and she felt tears prickle at her eyes.

“I know,” he said sadly, sounding defeated. “But, you must know that I am so, so sorry, Hayley. For all the ways I have hurt you,” he added, his voice rough.

“It’s not enough,” she muttered. “And, I don’t know if I can forgive that,” she sniffled, and reached to wipe at her eyes before taking another sip.

“Oh,” he breathed out, sounding resigned and sad.

“And, I- I wish I could. But, it hurts so much. So much. And, I wish it didn’t. I wish there was something, anything that could make it not hurt anymore-” she admitted, her own voice trembling with emotion.

“Hayley,” Elijah cut her off, “I- if there was anything, any way I could stop this- this pain. Any way I could make it not hurt, I would. Believe me, I would,” he said in a pleading tone.

“I wish I had never met you,” she blurted out, but as soon as she said it, she wished she hadn’t because maybe, _just maybe_ it was too much. But, now that she’d said those words, she couldn’t take them back. So, instead, she kept talking. “I wish I never laid eyes on you. I wish we never met. Because if we hadn’t met, we wouldn’t have fallen in love,” she paused, and took a deep breath and another sip of her drink, finishing it. “And, if we hadn’t fallen in love, then this… this wouldn’t hurt so much. Love hurts. _So much_. And, I wish it didn’t,” she whispered, but Elijah didn’t say anything. “Loving you… is the single most painful thing I have ever done, and I wish… I wish I had never met you,” she finished, and her voice cracked.

When Elijah finally spoke, his voice was hollow and empty, “I am truly sorry for all the pain I have caused you, then. Just know that all I have ever- all I want is for you to be happy.” And, with that, he hung up.

Hayley choked back a sob, and the bartender slid her another drink.

“On the house,” he said with a sympathetic smile. Hayley downed it in one go just as Cami reappeared.

“Alright, lady,” Cami said, but stopped as soon as she saw Hayley. “Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” the blonde asked, her expression full of concern.

“I’m fine, Cami. Just- I’m fine. Let’s just go home,” she said in monotone.

Cami nodded, though she eyed her suspiciously, “let’s split the bill in half and go find ourselves a cab.”

“Okay,” Hayley said as she, too, stood up, and also stumbled slightly before regaining her balance. They paid for their tab and also drank some water quickly in hopes of sobering up before Hayley followed Cami outside, the blonde calling for a cab.

The cab arrived soon, and the two of them got in, taking it to Hayley’s place. Since Klaus was there with Hope and Luke, he’d take Cami home and leave the kids with Hayley. [Nadia had come home by the time Hayley and Cami returned].

* * *

Hayley barely slept that night, unable to turn her mind off, to stop herself from thinking. At some point she got up to pump and dump in the kitchen, taking the baby monitor with her, and even had some herbal tea to try and calm herself. Eventually, she managed to fall asleep, but it didn’t last long and she was woken up by a crying baby which did not help her slightly pounding headache.

“Shh, Luke, shh,” she muttered as her son wailed in his crib, and got out of bed, stumbling. Gods, her head hurt, though not too much, and she reached blindly for the Advil and glass of water she’d left on the night stand. She popped one Advil into her mouth and downed a glass of water while Luke continued to wail, and she could see him squirm and turn and roll in his bed. “I’m coming, Luke, shh,” she said, a little louder. “Mama’s coming, just give me a minute to pee,” she told him, though she doubted the five-month-old would care. Almost six months. She could barely believe it, her baby was getting big. She headed to the bathroom to relieve herself quickly and brush her teeth, splashing a bit of water on her face while Luke continued to cry. She’d finish her morning routine later, she decided, since Luke was obviously hungry. “It’s okay, Luke,” she said softly, “I’m here. Mama’s here,” she murmured as she crossed the room to his crib, and froze. By now, Lucas, who was still crying and whimpering, clearly hungry and not at all pleased that she’d made him wait so long, was sitting up, holding his arms up impatiently. And, Hayley could only stare because he hadn’t done that yet. “Luke,” she murmured, her voice trembling slightly. She considered taking a picture to immortalize the moment, but one look at her cranky, hungry baby told her he would appreciate it if she didn’t. “Oh, Luke,” she whispered as she picked him up, propping him on her hip, pressing him close to her. The baby responded by putting his face in her chest and reaching to grasp at her breasts with his hands, whimpering miserably. “Shh, it’s alright, mommy is here. C’mon, let’s eat, shall we?”

She settled on the bed, and quickly undid her tank top and night bra before wrapping the pregnancy pillow around her, positioning Luke in her arm, with the pillow for support before guiding him a little. But, Luke didn’t need much guidance because he grabbed her right breast and latched on immediately, suckling. Hayley tried to relax, and remembered the moment she’d witnessed earlier, the milestone that had occurred. He was sitting up, and she needed to get a photo of him. As Luke suckled on her breast, grasping it with both of his tiny hands, Hayley’s mind drifted to the night before, and in particular what she had said to Cami. Apparently, she hadn’t been so drunk that she’d forgotten, and the words she’d uttered were seared in her mind. And, while she was speaking the truth to a certain extent, now as she was holding her son – their son – in her arms, she couldn’t help but regret them. Because if she hadn’t met Elijah, she would have never had Lucas. And, she loved Lucas with all her heart.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured under her breath as she stroked Lucas’ nose gently, then the side of his face. “Mommy is so sorry, you know,” she whispered. Once Luke had finished one breast, he latched onto the other while Hayley pulled out her phone. There were a few messages which she replied to, mostly from the Mikaelsons, and Aiden. As she scrolled through her iMessage chats, she stopped when she reached the bottom, and her thumb hovered over a name. _Elijah_. She’d considered deleting their chat several times, but she had never been able to actually go through with it. She clicked on it, and it opened to their last few message exchanges from before. Before everything went to hell, before he left her.

His last message said: _Meet after work? Let’s grab dinner at the diner. I love you, Hayley_

Hayley smiled fondly as she read it, tears prickling at her eyes. Her own reply had been quick, almost automatic: _Sure. Love you too, baby xx_

And, those had been the last words they’d exchanged by text. After the diner, they’d gone back home and had sex, mind-blowingly good sex, and Hayley had been pretty sure Elijah was trying to lose himself in her. But, she hadn’t minded, at all.

Lucas pulled away and squirmed, and Hayley took that as a cue that he was done. Shifting him in her arms, she quickly did her bra and pulled up her tank top before pushing the pillow away and standing up. After quickly changing Luke, she settled him into his crib with a few toys before rushing to take a quick shower and wash her face properly, taking the monitor with her. But, as she stood under her showerhead, the water pouring over her, cascading down her back, enveloping her in a warm blanket, her mind drifted to Elijah.

_Hayley entered the shower slowly and quietly took off her clothes, letting them fall to the floor. The room was filled with steam from the shower, but Hayley kind of liked it. Slowly, she made her way to the shower, completely naked, her dark brown hair pulled into a messy bun, a few stray curls escaping it. She opened the door to reveal Elijah standing in the shower, water cascading over him, but as if sensing her, he turned towards her. He looked tense, his expression stoic, mouth pressed into a thin line, eyes weary, and she remembered why they were both here. Elijah had lost a longtime patient he’d been working hard to save, and Hayley had taken him home, no questions asked. She’d just made tea when the idea of joining him occurred to her._

_“I’m-” he started to say, but she cut him off as she entered the shower, resting her thumb against his lips, effectively silencing him._

_“Not fine, obviously,” she told him in a serious tone. “But, that’s okay, and you know it. I know she was important to you, I know the surgery was important, and I know how badly you wanted to save her,” she whispered softly, her own voice hoarse._

_Elijah kissed her thumb before pulling slightly away, “but, I didn’t save her,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion. “I didn’t. And, it’s all my fault,” his voice cracked as he admitted this, and he hung his head, but Hayley quickly moved and cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her._

_“Elijah, listen to me,” she whispered firmly. “I know you feel guilty, trust me, I do. I know what that’s like. But, you can’t wallow in it, you can’t lose yourself in it because if you do, there might be no way out. Not without compromising something else,” she said softly, though her own voice was emotional. “I know it hurts, right now. But, you have to let it go. You have to forgive yourself,” she whispered softly as she carded her fingers through his wet hair._

_Elijah nodded slowly before cupping her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. “Have I told you lately that I love you?” he quipped, his dark brown eyes shining._

_She smirked, “maybe once or twice?” Elijah looked affronted, and she chuckled in amusement. “You have. But, it won’t hurt if you say it again,” she quipped, winking at him._

_Elijah smiled, “good. Because I do. I love you with my whole heart, Hayley,” he whispered hoarsely. She rubbed her nose against his, their lips mere inches from each other, and she itched to close the gap and kiss him, but he pulled away slightly. “Now, I do believe that since you decided to join me, we could shower together,” he suggested. Hayley just grinned before closing the gap between them and brushing her lips against his, her hands sliding around his neck. Elijah responded to the kiss eagerly, his own arms snaking around her waist and pulling her close as she kissed him hungrily, her lips molding with his, their tongues tangling together. As Elijah pushed her against the shower wall, and she let out a muffled yelp, Hayley was pretty sure they wouldn’t actually shower. But, this was so much better._

Hayley shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut before blinking them rapidly. She really needed to stop with these naughty memories. She needed to stop with the memories, period, but that was going to be virtually impossible, so she’d settle on getting rid of the naughty ones. Unfortunately, even that seemed futile because the memories were everywhere.

“Damn you, Elijah Mikaelson, to hell and back,” she muttered with a groan.

After rinsing herself again, she stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel around her body, wrapping her hair in another one. She dried quickly, lathered body lotion all over her body before drying her hair and changing into clean underwear. She emerged from the bathroom and went into her closet, selecting a simple jeans and long-sleeved shirt ensemble. She quickly did her makeup before turning her attention to Luke who was currently propping himself up and sitting in his crib. Hayley beamed and pulled out her phone, snapping a few pictures quickly, not wanting to miss the opportunity. She sent it to the Mikaelson family group chat with the caption _Look who’s sitting_ followed by a few smiling emojis. The chat soon exploded with messages from the Mikaelsons and Hayley smiled brightly as she picked Lucas up and changed him.

“Should we go see if the girls are up?” she muttered quietly once she’d finished, and walked out of her room and to the girls’ rooms. She knocked on Hope’s room first, twice, and her daughter opened it, still wearing her pajamas. Her eyes lit up upon seeing her little brother and she leapt at them, kissing Luke’s tummy.

“Luke! Oh, you’re so cute this morning!” Hope exclaimed as she played with him, Lucas gurgling happily in Hayley’s arms. Then, she turned to Hayley, “Oh, mom, can I play with him, please?” she asked, pouting, blinking her blue eyes at Hayley.

“Are you ready for school?” Hayley asked, raising an eyebrow because Hope was absolutely the worst about getting ready for school.

Hope smiled sheepishly, “kind of?”

“Kind of?”

“Well, I did brush my teeth. And, my clothes are ready. And, my bag is ready,” the eight-year-old said, ticking off her fingers.

“Did you make your bed?” Hayley flashed her daughter a pointed look. “Brushed your hair? Actually put on your clothes?” Hope just stared at the floor and busied herself with Luke, who was reaching for her hair.

“Hope Andrea Mikaelson,” Hayley huffed, “you know you have to be ready for school if you want to play with Luke,” she said in what she hope was a serious, mother-like tone. But, really, she was just tired, and her tone came out a little flat, and not very authoritative. Or, maybe she was just getting soft. Funny, how she could yell at interns and residents, but when it came to her kids, she couldn’t.

Hope just rolled her eyes, and moved to pull away, but Luke had just grabbed a fistful of her red hair and tugged on it.

“Ow! That hurts!” the eight-year-old whined as she pulled away while Hayley grabbed Luke’s hand and uncurled his fingers from her daughter’s hair.

“No, Lucas,” Hayley said gently, but firmly. “You do not pull your sister’s hair.”

The five-month-old just gurgled, but let go, and Hayley shook her head.

“Hope-” she started, but her daughter cut her off.

“Get ready, I know,” she said in an exasperated tone, rolling her eyes dramatically before turning around and walking back into her room, slamming the door behind her. Hayley groaned. Hope was only eight and already acting like a teenager, and it was driving Hayley insane, sometimes.

With a sigh, Hayley walked to Nadia’s room and knocked twice.

“Come in!” her adoptive daughter yelled and Hayley pushed the doorknob, opening the door and walked inside, Luke on her hip. Nadia was sitting on the window seat, reading, her earbuds in, but as soon as Hayley stepped inside, she removed one.

“Good morning,” Hayley greeted her, plopping down on the bed and settling Luke beside her. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine,” the teenager shrugged. “You?”

“Same,” Hayley said, though that wasn’t exactly true.

“Did you have fun with Cami?”

“I did,” she nodded. “It was nice to get out,” she commented as Luke played with one of Nadia’s stuffed toys that were mainly for decorative purposes.

“You should get out more,” the sixteen-year-old said after a few seconds. “You used to do that a lot more.”

“Yeah, but that was before Luke,” she replied, absently playing with her son. _Before Elijah left_ , hung between them, unsaid. 

Nadia rolled her eyes in a very Katherine-like manner that sent chills down Hayley’s spine. “Yeah, but Luke’s got a gaggle of aunts and uncles, plus me, _and_ a babysitter. Just because you’ve got a baby, doesn’t mean you can’t occasionally get out,” she said, shrugging.

“I know,” Hayley sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I’m just- so much has changed since last year,” she said with a sad smile. Nadia just nodded.

“Still,” she sighed, and her expression softened, “you deserve to have fun once in a while, Hayley. You’re always here for us, whenever we need you. You do _so much_ for us, but you have to live for yourself, too,” she said kindly. “I know you’re a mom and everything, I know you actually like spending time with us, and that’s great, but you deserve to have your own life, too,” she added with a soft smile.

Hayley sighed, “I know,” she nodded as she continued to absently play with Luke. Nadia just played with her earbuds. “When did you get so wise?” she quipped after a few seconds, giving her adoptive daughter a look. Nadia just shrugged and smiled, flushing slightly. “Must be all the books you’re reading,” Hayley added a little teasingly, and the brunette chuckled. “Anyways, watch Luke for a bit, please? I need to go make breakfast and pack your lunch. You can bring him downstairs, if you want. And, make sure Hope is out of her room in five minutes,” she requested, earning a nod and a smile from Nadia.

“No problem,” Nadia murmured as she stood up from the window seat and plopped down on the bed beside Luke, taking over from Hayley, who stood up. With one last glance at Nadia and Lucas, who looked so much alike with their dark, curly hair and dark brown eyes despite not sharing the same mother, she walked out of the room and went downstairs.

* * *

Hayley was surprised she managed to get the girls to school and Luke to daycare, and make it to the E.R. at 9 o’clock on the dot. The E.R. wasn’t too busy, so she went to grab a coffee from the cart outside.

“Cappuccino with cinnamon on top,” she ordered.

“And, an Americano, no milk,” a thickly Irish-accented voice said from behind her, and Hayley turned to find Declan standing beside her. “Good morning, Dr. Marshall,” he said by way of greeting. The barista handed them the two cups of coffee and Declan paid, waving off her own attempts.

“Thank you,” she said softly, her lips curling into a small smile.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” he remarked as they leaned against the wall by the E.R. doors.

“I guess,” she shrugged as she took a sip of her coffee, letting out a small moan as the hot caffeinated drink slid down her throat.

Declan merely smiled, amused. “Well, then, I’m going to take advantage of your good mood and ask you out. Again. And, hope you accept,” he said, his blue eyes twinkling.

“You’re asking me on a date?” she asked, turning slightly to face him.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he quipped. She shrugged again.

“Okay,” she said, and Declan stared at her for a second, surprised.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes! Really,” she said, her voice firm. “I’d love to go on a date with you, Declan,” she told him, then pressed a chaste kiss to his cheeks before walking back inside. Declan called out to her just as she was about to enter, and she turned.

“Pick you up Friday at 8?” he asked, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Sure! It’s a date!” she yelled, winking at him before entering the E.R.


End file.
